Yoshizilla: All righty, after seeing the votes come in, I have decided that my next Super Smash Brothers one-shot story would star Wario and King DeDeDe. Now both of these characters are fat and greedy, but Wario's a human (IF you consider him human at all...) and King DeDeDe basically is a penguin. So what happens when they do something random together? Well, don't look at me, just read the fanfic yourselves.
And many congratulations to the Nintendo Wii for making its first anniversary. YOU ROCK, WII!!!! And now with that said, enjoy the story!
Disclaimer: All of the characters and possible references belong to Nintendo.
Ahhh, 'tis a beautiful day in the grand metropolis of Nintendo City. And all life is teeming with energy, especially those who reside in the Super Smash Brothers Mansion, all alone in peace within the Oval Park.
Except for two troublemakers, who are not peaceful at all...
"Hey! Pass me the garlic!" Shouted Wario, who was slumped in his own purple sofa, with a bag of potato chips laying next to him. Ivysaur was in the back, dusting off some of the vases.
"Get your own stupid garlic!" King DeDeDe snapped, as he was trying to smack Kirby around with his hammer.
Ivysaur sighed, placing down the water can he was holding with one of his vines. "You know, we had a good streak so far. Let's not have it come to an abrupt end," He intelligently stated, approaching Wario, albeit carefully.
Wario eyed Ivysaur suspiciously. "What do you mean, you four-legged freak of nature?" He asked, cracking his knuckles.
Ivysaur rolled his eyes. "Well, we haven't been used in fanfiction for quite a while, and I say that's a good thing, because did you see all of the stories that those crazy, wacky people out in the real world put up?"
Wario gave Ivysaur a blank look.
Ivysaur sighed, shaking his head and turning around. "Why do I even bother talking to you? You're too selfish and stubborn to even pay attention." He headed back to the flower vases he was tending to.
King DeDeDe approached Wario, having taken care of Kirby. "So, what do ya wanna do tonight?"
Wario growled. "Why can't you be pestering someone else, peanut brain?" He then started to stuff potato chips into his mouth.
BAM!!! Wario was sent pummeling into the ceiling after being whacked by King DeDeDe's heavy hammer.
"Idiot. I'm the king around here, so you serve your loyalty to me, fat boy!" King DeDeDe snapped, sitting in Wario's sofa and munching on the potato chips.
Wario came falling back down to the ground, landing hard and face first. He got up, shook his head, and looked up, gasping in horror. "HEY!!! THAT'S MY SOFA, BUDDY BOY!!!!" He rammed into King DeDeDe, knocking both of them down to the ground.
Meta Knight came into the living room, holding a coffee in his right hand. "Hey, what is going on..." He looked at both Wario and King DeDeDe, moaning on the ground. "... I'll just go into the other room." He then turned around and headed up the staircase.
Wario got up, furious. He dusted off his WarioWare outfit, and he glared at King DeDeDe, pointing at him. "All right, wise guy, just for ruining my sofa, you're coming with me!"
King DeDeDe got up, and scoffed. "What do ya mean I'm coming with ya!?" He folded his arms and turned his head away. 'Why would I need to help a nobody like you!?"
Wario gritted his teeth, and he grabbed King DeDeDe by the collar. "Listen, you flightless turkey, that sofa costed me one thousand dollars, and I can't expect to lose even more money because of that!" He then started to drag King DeDeDe out of the mansion. "Now come on! We're going, and that's that!"
But King DeDeDe refused, and he started pounding his fists on the ground, throwing a tantrum. "I don't wanna! I don't wanna!" He protested, trying to escape Wario's grip, but was dragged out anyway, crying and pleading.
Wario sighed, and shook his head. "It's gonna be a long day today," He muttered to himself, letting go of King DeDeDe and headed back to the mansion. He casted an angry glare at King DeDeDe. "Don't even think of sneaking back in." He went into the mansion, and started calling out Donkey Kong's name.
King DeDeDe mumbled angrily to himself, getting up and holding his mallet in his left hand. "Stupid fat pig... thinks he can make orders and expects me to take them? Peh, I'll show him..." He chuckled sinisterly to himself, as Wario came back with Donkey Kong... and Kirby.
"WHAT!?" King DeDede angrily exclaimed, holding up his hammer and preparing to whack Kirby. "Why is this loser joining us!?"
Kirby chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his head. "Well, since you're going to star in this fanfic, I thought I would take this as a perfect opportunity to join-"
WHACK!!!!! Kirby was pummeled into the depths of outer space, screaming at the top of his lungs.
King DeDeDe smiled, and he held his hammer up in triumph. Laughing, he said, "Ehehehe! Gotta keep that Kirby out of the fic." He winked at Wario and Donkey Kong. "After all, I'm the star of this story." He smiled widely.
Wario growled angrily, and he was about to lunge at King DeDeDe, but Donkey Kong held him back. "Hey! What are ya doing, you stupid ape!?"
"Wario, come on, now!" Donkey Kong shouted, trying to knock some sense into Wario, "Isn't this just a simple little task? Let's just get the damn sofa and go."
Wario and King DeDeDe both gasped in horror, looking mouth agape at Donkey Kong.
Donkey Kong blinked, rubbing his head. "What?"
"Dude, you just forced the rating to go up to K plus," King DeDeDe whispered in his ear, shaking his head.
Wario then bursted into laughter, shaking his head, and waving his hands. "Nah, no one's not gonna notice squat. Come on!" He started running in the westward direction.
King DeDeDe and Donkey Kong both sighed. Looking at each other, and shrugging, they ran after Wario.
Several agonizing hours later...
Wario, King DeDeDe, and Donkey Kong were all exhausted from their run, slumping as they walked down the sidewalk together. Upon their departure from the mansion, it started to rain. And the three male characters, sadly, didn't bring their umbrellas.
"All right, tell me again where we're going?" Donkey Kong asked as his fur started to get a teeny bit puffed up from the rain drops.
King DeDeDe sighed. "Look, we're just going to buy a stupid sofa so Wario can stop being mad." He turned around. "Right, Wario? Huh?" He stopped in his tracks, blinking. "Where's Wario?"
King DeDeDe and Donkey Kong then both heard a woman's shriek, and they rushed to the next corner of the street, to see Wario pounding the lady to the ground, attempting to steal her wallet.
King DeDeDe fumes angrily. "I thought he wanted to just buy a chair, not steal!" The fat penguin snapped, turning to Donkey Kong, "What's gotten into him, anyway!?"
Donkey Kong shrugged. "I hate to say this, but Wario's been like this before, way before he even became a Super Smash Brother."
Wario can be seen running down the sidewalk, pushing aside walkers while he is chased by a group of police. Wario turns to the corner, and he jumps onto the gate, climbing it up. The police follow and jump up as well, jumping down on the other side and running after Wario.
Wario taunts at the police, wagging his butt at them. As he turns to the right, he bumps into the wall, and falls down on his back unconscious. The police all surround Wario, place the handcuffs on him, and drag the unconscious fat, greedy plumber from the ground towards the closet police department.
King DeDeDe was speechless. "Oh...I see what you mean. So..." He eyed Wario suspiciously as the obese plumber returned with the woman's purse. He whacked Wario on the head with his mallet. "You moron! Why would you go and do that for!?"
Wario rubbed his head, grinning. "Wehehe... that's what I live for. Money, money, money!" He laughed and tossed money out of the purse, tossing it in the air.
Donkey Kong shook his head, putting his hands on his hips. "Whatever. Let's just get this over with." He grabbed the purse from Wario and handed it back to the lady. "Here you go, ma'am..."
BAM!!! Donkey Kong was smacked across the face by the woman. Wario bursted into laughter, while King DeDeDe whistled, looking up at the sky.
"All right, how much does it cost?" Wario asked, shaking his fist at the Kremling shopkeeper.
The Kremling shopkeeper gulped. "Err... it's fifty dollars, to say the least." He wiped his forehead with a napkin, grinning nervously. "Will you take it?"
Before the Kremling shopkeeper could say anything else, King DeDeDe smacked the Kremling shopkeeper with his mallet, knocking him out. Donkey Kong and Wario chucked the new purple sofa out of the store through the window, and jumped out, picking up the sofa and running back to the Super Smash Brothers Mansion.
King DeDeDe came through the door, and closing it, he ran after the two Super Smash Brothers, panting as his weight and mallet slowed him down a bit. "Huff, puff... do we have to run back to the mansion on foot, guys?" King DeDeDe shouted, adding, "I mean, couldn't we at least pay for this sofa?"
"NO!!!" Wario shouted loudly, "It's MY sofa, and I get to have it for free!" He then stopped in front of the mansion, and chucked it through the window, watching with glee as it landed in the spot of his former red sofa. He bursted the door down and ran into the living room, sitting into his new sofa, and sighing heavenly.
King DeDeDe blinked. "What the..." He sighed and shook his head. "I swear, this is the stupidest story we've been put in!" He angrily declared.
"It's the only story we have a major role in," Donkey Kong pointed out, rubbing the back of his head as he took out a banana out of nowhere and started to eat it.
Crickets chirped. It was then that a loud "crunch!" was heard, causing King DeDeDe and Donkey Kong to look around in shock.
"What was that!?" Both Donkey Kong and King DeDeDe exclaimed, looking all around, shocked and surprised.
Meta Knight came down the staircase, and peering into the living room, he jumped out of the window, and approached King DeDeDe and Donkey Kong. "Guys... don't tell any of the authors... but..." He placed down his sword and kneeled down.
King DeDeDe tilted his head. "Don't tell any of the authors what?"
Meta Knight sighed, closing his bright, yellow eyes. "Don't tell any of the authors that Wario placed the sofa on and sat on, thus resulting the deaths of, the swordsmen."
King DeDeDe and Donkey Kong peered into the living room from the broken window, and they gulped, looking at each other, and then at Meta Knight. They then both screamed and ran as far away from the Super Smash Brothers Mansion as possible.
Yoshizilla: Argh, the holiday I hate the MOST (and the prime reason why November is my least favorite month), Thanksgiving. (sigh) Well, wish me luck, ladies and gentlemen, because I'm going to have to be forced to eat all of the crappy food that's offered...and with that, I got nothing else to say. So so long, and 'til next time...
MARIO, WHEREVER YOU ARE, HEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAALLLLLP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - Mama Luigi