Hey y'all. Thanks for all the reviews and alerts, etc. I love you guys. Also, a big THANK YOU to Avila Grace for the Beta. You're awesome. And, let's see, what else? Eh, I got nothing. Just go read. :)
Pam was squeezing his hand and the tears were falling down her cheeks. She wasn't quite sure what had come over her when she'd walked into his room. Maybe it was seeing him lay there, the tubes running down and affixed to his arm, and the paleness of his face. Granted, he looked better than he had, but she hadn't been comfortable in a hospital since her grandfather had passed away. And now, seeing her best friend in one, made her feel something strange and upsetting in the pit of her stomach.
His fingers were brushing gently over the top of her hand, but she still couldn't look at him. She was too embarrassed. She had come into his room and he had been smiling at her. Maybe it was the smile that had done it. Her grandfather had smiled at her when she'd visited him in the hospital that day. Everything had seemed so okay and then it was all ripped away. Pam had lost her grandfather, someone she loved dearly; she wasn't about to lose Jim as well.
She watched their fingers intertwine and she felt a pang somewhere in her heart. When she had held hands with Roy, she never felt anything, even when they were younger and had just started dating. She had heard somewhere before that you know you've found your soul mate when you hold hands for the first time, you feel it all the way through your body. She had held hands with Jim before. Not like this, but she had held his hand, and she had felt it then. It was a kind of warmth that had shot through her, heating her entire body from the core, causing something to stir deep inside her. When she had felt it the first time, she'd passed it off as being embarrassed at Roy's outrage when he'd come in the office and saw them. But now, while she was holding Jim's hand so tightly in hers, she knew it hadn't been embarrassment. It had been the feeling you get when you've found your soul mate.
"Hey." They had been silent for so long that she'd almost forgotten that they could both speak. She slowly lifted her eyes to his and saw him smile gently. Her heart felt like it could explode in her chest; it was so full of love. "Pam, I'm very sorry about your grandfather." If that was all he had said it would have been enough. She wanted to lean down and wrap her arms around him. "But, I promise, thanks to you, I will be going home by tomorrow." She felt tears sting her eyes again. She couldn't stop them from spilling over and down her already tear-soaked cheeks. "You are amazing. Thank you." The words came off his lips in almost a whisper, yet she felt like they were screaming inside her mind. She is amazing; he said she is amazing.
"Jim." She starts to speak and Jim shakes his head to make her stop. She closes her mouth and they just stare at each other. His thumb still rubbing the top of her hand and it's like the most natural thing in the world. Pam lets out a small sigh, shifts her gaze to the wall behind Jim's head and then sits down beside him on the bed. He moves over enough to allow her room to sit next to him, but they never let go of each other's hands. They sit in silence, looking at each other, and then looking away, neither one of them uncomfortable with the situation. It was as if they had spent their whole lives together and knew what the other was thinking without ever having to speak; looking at each other was always enough.
Finally, Pam felt she needed to say something, but not because of the silence. She needed to say something to let Jim know what she was feeling. She needed to say it out loud. It wasn't something she wanted to continuously convey through longing looks. She wanted him to understand, completely. "Jim." He had been looking at the sheets on his bed, still rubbing her hand, but he looked up at the sound of his name. A smile touched his lips and it took Pam everything she had not to reach out her hand and touch them gently. "I." She was stammering. She didn't know why. She had all the things she wanted to say right at the tip of her tongue. She had been thinking them for the last ten minutes. No, she had been thinking them for the last 4 years. Why weren't the words coming out as easily as they sat in her mind? "I." Jim tightened the grip on her hand in a reassuring way and she felt the nervousness lift from her soul. She smiled gently and squeezed his hand back. "I'm so glad you're okay." She adjusted herself on Jim's bed, moving to look at him more squarely in the eye. "When I saw you lying on the floor at your house," she paused and a shudder racked her body. "I don't ever want to see you like that again." She finished simply, not knowing if she could continue on and tell him everything.
Jim didn't let her continue. "As long as you're around, I don't think that will be a problem." He smiled at her and she had to smile back. It was infectious. He let got of her hand and put both of his hands on either side of her, gripping her arms, and then rubbed his hands up and down her, like he was trying to warm her cold body. "What you did, Pam, it means the world to me. The fact that you even felt you needed to come check on me." He stopped in an awestruck silence, looking down at the bed again. He lifted his eyes to her finally and looked deep into Pam's soul through her eyes. "I love you for it."
Pam felt her breath catch in her throat and her body went limp with pleasure. Hearing those words come tumbling out of Jim's mouth lit a fire inside her; a fire she doubted would ever go away. He was staring at her, long and hard, and it wasn't making it any easier for her to come back with a response. She could see, in his eyes, all the love and passion he had. For her. Everything she felt for him was reflected back at her through his eyes. She wondered if she'd ever be able to speak again.
Jim continued to watch her. She knew she needed to say something. She felt her face probably showed fear, doubt and pain just by the way he continued to look at her, his face constantly falling. She needed to say something.
He didn't give her the chance. "Anyway." His voice had a slightly icy edge to it. "Thank you. For everything." He looked at her and attempted a smile. It looked forced. "You probably need to get back to work huh?"
Pam knew it was now or never. She willed herself to speak. "Jim." He was shaking his head and pulling his hands away from her. She was losing him. She couldn't lose him. She wouldn't. "Jim." He was looking away from her and she could feel all those warm feelings slipping away. "Jim." She put her hands on either side of his face and turned him to look at her. She leaned in closer to him. It was now or never and she knew that. A smile was spreading across his lips again and she felt that flame inside her spark up and overtake her.
Leaning forward more, her hands still on his face, she pressed her smiling lips against his smiling lips ever so gently. She feeling that erupted through her body was something she'd never felt before; something she never thought she'd ever feel.
This was love.
Finally she pulled herself away from him, but not wanting to open her eyes. Instead she rested her forehead against his and she felt his arms around her waist. It took her some time, but she finally opened her eyes and saw him staring back at her. She felt embarrassed, but sure of herself. She was shy, but confident. She was someone else, but she was finally the Pam Beesly she wanted to be.
"Jim." Her voice was a whisper, and he didn't respond, but only nodded his head gently. "There is no where I'd rather be right now, than here with you."
Okay, so if you haven't figured it out already, that's the last of it folks. Sorry. :) I hope you guys liked it. Please REVIEW. I really like to know what you guys liked and/or didn't like. It makes it easier for me to write more or other things, knowing what you guys want to see. Okay? Thanks. :)
Anyway, thanks for all the support through this story. I had WAY more hits and comments and alerts and favorites and whatever for this story than I did for my first one. So, maybe I'm growing on you guys. :) Let's hope. Anyway, thanks again and I'll be back soon. I'm working on an angsty oneshot of Jim that I should hopefully have up by this weekend. Yay!