In Which Chase's Past Catches Up With Him

By Shakespeare's Girl

Ships crossing like ghosts in the night

Names unremembered, faces in sight

Take what we can and need to survive...

Chase froze as the song blasted over the PA system. "No," he breathed. "Please, not that, anything but that!"

Behind him he heard House chuckle. Chase felt the terror drain out of him, to be replaced only with horror and embarrassment. "I didn't know you could sing, Chase!"

"Look, House," Chase began, but as he turned around he shuddered, because the song had gone into the chorus, and his voice was now shouting "Na na na na na na na na, sheets of Egyptian cotton" at the top of it's lungs for the whole hospital to hear. He scrubbed his hands over his face.

"Aw, Chase, are you embarrassed? It's only a song! And you sing it so well!"

Chase moaned from behind his hands. "How?" he demanded. "How did you find out?"

"A combination of guesswork, luck and that lovely search engine named Google," House answered, his tone completely conversational.

"I didn't want anyone here to know--"

"That before you went to med school you were a hot Aussie actor in a movie with Brittney Murphy?"

"That I bought into the Hollywood myth."

"You made a hit record! You starred in a movie!"

"I hated it!" Chase shouted, over his own voice. He paused momentarily.

Words exchanging kisses in view

Leave me scarred, thin, confused

I wait and see

What unfolds

Don't have what I need

Girl now I love you so...

"HOUSE! This is on REPEAT!" Chase screeched as the first verse played again.

"Yep. And I locked the door from the inside so no one can get to the CD player unless they have the key."

"HOUSE!" Chase jumped, because his two voices were joined by another, distinctly female voice.

Cuddy was striding down the hallway, her stilettos tapping a counter rhythm to the beat of the song.

Na na na na na na na na

Sheets of Egyptian Cotton!

Na na na na na na na na

Sheets of Egyptian Cotton!

"HOUSE!" Cuddy screamed again. "TURN IT OFF!"

"He won't," Chase said, just as House said "I can't."

"What?" Chase and Cuddy synchronized again.

"I lost the key."

"HOUSE!" Cuddy roared, while Chase groaned and leaned hopelessly against the wall.

"Why me?" Chase muttered.

"What's wrong with Chase?" Cuddy asked.

"He hates this song," House replied. "It took him way too long to record it, and he can't hear it without thinking of those long hours in that tiny booth--"

"House, shut up!" Chase pleaded.

The song started over again, and Cuddy glared at House. "You are denied clearance to even the employee bathrooms until this is off my PA system."

Na na na na na na na na

Sheets of Egyptian Cotton!

Na na na na na na na na

Sheets of Egyptian Cotton!

House sighed. "Come, 'Jesse', we have a song to turn off."

Chase just moaned again.

"Stop making that noise or I'll find something for your mouth to do that you may not like very much," House warned.

"What? Gonna make me lick the bathroom floors clean?"

House grabbed Chase by the shoulders and gave Chase a sloppy, wet kiss. "I'll do that again."

Chase stared, half frightened, half aroused.

Motionless raptures reveal

The give and take become what's real

Leave only the memories that we feel

"What?" House demanded. Chase kept staring, but followed when House walked away. There had been something in that kiss that electrified, but Chase couldn't for the life of him figure out what. He wanted that again.

House smiled secretly. So far, this little practical joke was getting better and better as things went on--except for the whole denied clearance thing. But he could take care of that. He could break into the PA room, or have Foreman do it, and turn off the CD, then he would just kiss the movie star again.

Eyes passing glances forgave

What time remembers

Seconds forget

"There, see, I told you I could pick the lock," House said triumphantly. Not that he'd met any argument from Chase.

"I never said you couldn't," Chase reminded him.

"That doesn't mean I don't get to collect on our bet," House warned.

"What bet?" Chase asked warily.

"The one we would have made if you weren't such a spoilsport," House explained.

"Damn." Chase didn't even flinch when House jumped and gasped.

"You shouldn't use words like that, Robert! You should have your mouth washed out with soap. Since I don't have any with me..." House kissed Chase again, and Chase's mouth fell open in surprise. House's tongue swept in, and Chase gave up and let himself be kissed. It wasn't like it was a bad thing. And contrary to popular belief, House didn't taste like garlic. He tasted like coffee, and too much sugar, and French vanilla creamer, and those cherry lollipops he was always sucking on.

And oh god, House seemed to think Chase's tongue was a cherry lollipop. Chase groaned in sudden pleasure, unsure when this kiss had stopped being his boss trying to intimidate him and had become his boss pleasuring him, with Chase moaning and whimpering like a needy puppy.

Chase thought about all his previous kisses. They'd all been with women. Not that he hadn't thought about and looked at men. He just never kissed them. There was something intoxicatingly masculine about kissing House. Chase understood what women saw in House suddenly, realized why he was so sexually attractive to Cameron, to Cuddy. After all, he'd fantasized about House himself a time or two.

But this...this was more. This was better. This was worse. This was everything.

I'll wait and see

What unfolds

Don't have what I need

Girl now I love you so

House nipped at Chase's lips as he pulled away. "Don't swear again unless you want the same punishment," House scolded.

Chase gulped and nodded, speechless. He'd just kissed his boss. He'd just enjoyed kissing his boss. He'd just kissed his boss back.

House stepped into the room and Chase's voice was cut off mid wail.

Chase was in too much of a haze to notice, or care.

Na na na na na na na na

Sheets of Egyptian Cotton!

Na na na na na na na na

Sheets of Egyptian Cotton!

Na na na na na na na na

Sheets of Egyptian Cotton!

Na na na na na na na na

Sheets of Egyptian Cotton!

House was doing the happy dance inside his head. He'd finally kissed Chase. Happy, happy, joy, joy, happy happy joy! He let himself sing inside his head, because singing out loud would only make Chase realize that he wasn't doing this purely out of trying to drive everyone in the hospital to the psych ward before five o' clock.

House switched the CD, pushed play and waited. The familiar intro played, and he swore he could hear Cuddy screaming all the way from her office.

Vanilla Ice was now blaring, "Ice Ice Baby" pounding through the hospital.

Cuddy stormed in. "THIS IS A HOSPITAL, NOT A RAVE!" Cuddy screamed, yanking the plug out of the wall.

Let your feelings reveal the naked truth

Come unveil what I need

Cause you know I need it too


House smiled as he watched Chase botch the LP...again. Cameron kept yelling at him to do it right for Gawdsakes, and Foreman was laughing from the corner. It was only a matter of time until Chase cracked and swore at them.

It had been almost a week since the "Sheets of Egyptian Cotton" incident, and Chase seemed to have forgotten House's promise to "wash out his mouth" every time he swore. House snickered to himself. It was probably a good thing that Chase was only practicing the LP on a dummy, because he sure as hell wouldn't want to be Chase's patient right now. Chase stabbed the needle into the dummy's back, the end quivering, as he turned to Cameron.

"SHUT THE HELL UP! YOU ARE SO NOT HELPING!" House snorted. Had Chase just said "you are so not helping?" How high school did this guy get? "YOU'VE BEEN NAGGING ME ALL DAY! WELL FUCK YOU! HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF I WAS ON YOUR BACK ALL THE TIME? JUST FUCK YOU!"

"You did," Cameron snarked in a move worthy of House himself.

Chase screamed. "GO THE SHITTING HELL AWAY!"

House contemplated that descriptive of hell. He'd never thought of it before himself, but now that he did, he rather liked it. He quickly limped over to the altercation that was about to become a cat fight and grabbed Chase's arm.

"Now Chase, I know it's healthy to get angry now and then, but remember what I told you about swearing."

"Shit! House! You wouldn't!"

House wiggled his eyebrows. "That's six swears in one minute. That's got to be a record for you, Robert."

Cameron and Foreman stared at each other, then at House and Chase. House evidently had something on Chase that Chase didn't want out, and House was blackmailing him before their eyes.

"House, don't--" But whatever House wasn't supposed to do was lost forever, as House captured Chase's mouth.

Now my feeling is ready to uncover you

I wanna feel my warmth near close to you

Girl don't you be so cold

Cameron and Foreman stared. House was kissing Chase. Were they a couple? Foreman glanced at Cameron and quickly moved behind her. She seemed about to faint.

He had to hand it to House, he did know how to get to people.

Meantime, Chase appeared torn between enjoyment and discomfort at the kiss happening in front of his coworkers.

Na na na na na na na na

Sheets of Egyptian Cotton!

Na na na na na na na na

Sheets of Egyptian Cotton!

Na na na na na na na na

Sheets of Egyptian Cotton!

Na na na na na na na na

Sheets of Egyptian Cotton!

House pulled back. "One," he said, and Chase groaned realizing what was about to happen. House kissed him again, and pulled back again. "Two."

Foreman caught on and laughed. Cameron made a strangled noise at the sight of House and Chase. Chase had finally given up and thrown his arms around House's neck. Foreman couldn't tell if it was to keep himself upright due to arousal, or to facilitate getting this over with quicker.

From Chase's moan as House pulled away to say "Three" Foreman decided it was evidently the former.

Na na na na na na na na

Sheets of Egyptian Cotton!

Na na na na na na na na

Sheets of Egyptian Cotton!

Na na na na na na na na

Sheets of Egyptian Cotton!

Na na na na na na na na

Sheets of Egyptian Cotton!

House kissed Chase again. "Four," he counted, knowing he was driving Chase crazy, because just as the kiss got to the point of being a hot, sexy, unbearably delicious kiss, he would pull away. Chase's lips were swollen, his eye's glazed, his face flushed, and House thought happily that he looked simply wonderful when he'd been kiss tortured.

House kissed Chase again. "Five," he said, nipping Chase's nose as he went back to the full, pink mouth. This time he let the kiss continue, until he felt sure that Chase would fall over if he let him go. House pulled back. "Six."

He stepped away from Chase, and Chase staggered backwards into the table where the LP practice dummy lay. House smiled at him.

Foreman quietly dragged the stunned Cameron out of the room.

House waited until Chase looked at him, than dropped his cane and swayed back and forth with his hands in the air.

"Happy, happy, joy, joy," he sang, enjoying the startled look on Chase's face. "Sheets of Egyptian Cotton!"

"House," Chase began, but just at that moment, the PA turned on, and suddenly Vanilla Ice was blaring again.

"Oops. That was anti climactic. It was supposed to be you singing that song again."

Chase just shook his head.

"HOUSE!" They both snickered as Cuddy came crashing down the hall.

"I don't suppose you'd swear at her so I could stun her into silence, would you?" House asked.

"Just go turn the damn music off, House," Chase told him, then winced. "Oops."

Na na na na na na na na

Sheets of Egyptian Cotton!

Na na na na na na na na

Sheets of Egyptian Cotton!

Na na na na na na na na

Sheets of Egyptian Cotton!

Na na na na na na na na

Sheets of Egyptian Cotton!

A/N: Interesting bit of trivia, the break between the first and second song breaks should take about one song length to read.