Pure Hameron smut…..enjoy

P.S….I don't own any of the characters, but if I did, I'd be making some seriously X rated House eps!!

House was sitting in his office, feet up on the desk, eyes firmly shut, when his phone beeped to announce he had a message. He didn't recognize it for what it was at first….he didn't often get messages. There weren't that many people that had his cell number….Wilson, Cuddy, his Mum. His lawyer. That was about it, really.

Curiously, he hunted through his bag, finding his cell hiding down the very bottom. Pressing the appropriate buttons, he opened the message.

"If I sit in just the right way, the seam of my pants is rubbing on my clit. I'm wishing it was your tongue".

"What the hell?" House murmured. He checked for the number, but the caller ID was hidden, private number it stated.

Rereading the message, he got to his feet and walked into the conference room. Cameron and Foreman were at the table, the latter reading a medical journal and the former doing a crossword puzzle. Chase was nowhere to be seen, doing Houses clinic hours, no doubt. He glanced briefly in their general direction as he walked out into the hall.

"Where are you going?" Cameron called after him.

"Bathroom…..wanna come watch?" he cracked back.

"Pass!!" laughed Cameron.

House made his way to Wilsons office and slammed open the door. Wilson looked up quickly from his work, and raised his eyebrows at House.

"I think Cuddy wants to play with my cane, if you catch my drift". He said to Wilson, with a suggestive wiggle of his eyebrows.

"Wha……have you completely lost your mind?" Wilson replied, as House plonked himself into the chair in front of the desk.

"Check this out". House handed Wilson the phone, with the message showing.

"Oh. My. God!! That's from Cuddy?" Wilsons jaw was dragging on the desk.

"Well, I'm not 100 sure, but seeing as you, Mum, my lawyer and Cuddy are the only ones who know my private number, and unless you've decided to come out of the closet in a big way, then I'm going with Cuddy".

Wilson rolled his eyes.

"Are you sure no one else knows your number? What about that girl who was stalking you……did you give her your number?"

"Of course not" snapped House.

"Wow!" breathed Wilson. "I'm at a loss for words. Obviously the stress is finally getting to Cuddy….."

"Oh, hardy haha!!" griped House, as he got to his feet. "Not jealous, are you?" he smirked at Wilson, and turned to limp out the door.

Wilson pulled a face at House, and House smirked again.

"See you at lunch….your shout!" he said

"And this is different to usual how?" asked Wilson, with a resigned look at his best friend. Another parting smirk from House was his only reply.


House kept his eye out for Cuddy for the rest of the day. If the message was from her, then she was certainly getting better at her "poker face" he thought, because she was giving nothing away. Even when he made a snide comment about her fun bags and his cane, she only reacted by rolling her eyes and telling him to grow up, before turning and walking away.
Later that night, House was relaxing on his couch, a glass of scotch in one hand, Led Zeppelin playing quietly in the background, feet up on the coffee table, when his phone beeped again. His eyes shot open, and he sat up immediately, his feet hitting the ground with a bang. He winced then, from the pain that the jarring motion gave his leg. Standing up, he limped to find where he had dumped his bag, rubbing at his leg as he went. Finally locating his bag, and then the phone inside, he checked his messages.

Private number.

"Damn it!" he scowled. Opening the message, his eyes widened.

"I'm sitting here with my eyes closed, picturing your head between my legs. My panties are wet just from thinking about it!"

"Fuck!" House exclaimed, feeling himself harden slightly in his jeans.

"Who is this?" he typed back. "Is that you, Cuddy…..finally admitting you want me?"

He hit send, then limped back to the couch and waited for a reply.

Mere seconds passed before he got his reply.

"Who's Cuddy? I can almost feel your tongue sliding over my clit and down towards my pussy. I'm so wet for you! My panties are soaked….I'm taking them off".

House stared at his phone for a minute, before picking up his house phone and dialing Wilsons number. Wilson answered after only two rings.

"O.k, jokes over, you've had your fun!" House grumped into the phone as soon as Wilson answered.

"What?" Wilson asked in confusion. "House, are you ok? Where are you? What's going on?"

"More importantly, where are you?" House asked Wilson.

"At home!" Wilson replied. House could hear a slight murmur in the background, and Wilson covered the phone before answering.

"Do you have company, Wilson?" House asked suspiciously.

"Yes, and you're interrupting! I will talk to you tomorrow". There was a click, and House heard the busy signal.

Looking back at his cell phone, House read the message again. House gulped. Could this really be Cuddy?

"How did you get my number?" he typed into the phone.

"I've had your number for a long time. Do you want to know what I'm thinking about now?" came the reply.

"What are you thinking now?" he typed. He paused before sending it…..if it WAS Cuddy, he didn't really want to play this sort of sexual game with her. Teasing her at work was fun, he always got a reaction from her. But he didn't want to have a sexual relationship with her.

But what if it wasn't Cuddy? He hit send. He only had to wait a minute for the answer, and when it came, it left his mouth dry.

"I'm thinking that if I was with you now, I would slowly, slowly undress you, starting with your shirt buttons. Once I had it unbuttoned, I'd slide it off your shoulders and down your arms, trailing my fingers slowly down your skin. Then I'd slide my fingers up under your t-shirt, and very carefully slip your shirt off. I'd gently graze your nipples with my nails, and slide them down your stomach to the top of your pants. Then I'd follow the path of my hands with my lips and my tongue and my teeth".

House got up from the couch and limped to the kitchen to get more scotch. His head was humming with questions….and lower parts of his anatomy were humming for different reasons!!

After pouring himself the scotch, he made his way back to the couch. He decided to find out once and for all if this was Cuddy, so searched his phone for her cell number, and called.

Cuddy answered after several rings, and she sounded pissed.

"House, what do you want? It's nearly midnight!"

"How did you know it was me?" House replied.

"I'm psychic…..how do you think I know? Your number is programmed into my phone, your ID shows up when you ring".

"Oh".

"So, what do you want?" Cuddy repeated. Her voice sounded slightly breathless, as well as pissed, and House could hear a murmur in the background.

"Where are you, Cuddy?" he asked.

"I'm out….with a friend" she snapped. "Why? House, what is wrong with you?"

"Am I interrupting something?" House asked.

"Yes" replied Cuddy, and hung up.

House stared down at his phone for a second, a thoughtful look on his face. So it wasn't Wilson, he was home entertaining. And it wasn't Cuddy, she was 'out with a friend'. It sounded like this "friend" was more than a friend though. Then it hit him…..Wilson entertaining, Cuddy sounding like she was being entertained!

Oh. My. God. Cuddy and Wilson were doing it!!

But then, if it wasn't Wilson, and it wasn't Cuddy….and he was sure it wasn't his Mother or his lawyer……who could the messages be from? Who else had gotten his number?