Dream and Dread

By Shakespeare's Girl

First in a Series

What I once used to dream

I now dread

If he finds me this won't ever end

And he'll always be there...

Clark Kent gazed at the horizon, his eyes not seeing any of the Kansas landscape. Instead he saw silver-blue-green eyes, that pierced the soul with their intensity and burned into the memory, until they consumed every thought.

He saw what had been, the friendship, the falling out, the heartache, the enmity. And he also saw what could be, if he took the chance and trusted the one person who had the most power over him.

Clark smirked suddenly, a perfect imitation of the Luthor smirk, and shook his head. He used to dream about the act he was contemplating. Now he dreaded what would happen if he actually gave in to his urge.

If I tell him the truth, he'll either be thrilled or horrified, and one way or the other, it will lead to my undoing.

The thing that kept him motionless in the middle of the field, however, was simply fear. Fear not of Lex, but of Lex's hate.

"I have to do it. I have to tell him, or this spiral of insanity will eventually kill us both. I have to tell Lex my secret."

Saying it out loud unfroze his limbs, and he nodded, then turned and walked away from the field, and toward the Luthor mansion. He would tell Lex, and he could deal with the consequences later.

Lex probably already knew anyway, Clark realized, but he was hoping the act of good faith would be worth something. If Clark trusted him, finally trusted him, then maybe the damage would be reversed.

One thing Clark knew for sure. Telling Lex would be infinitely better than never telling him. Even if he was too late to save the man, it would be better to trust him with his secret than to continue to snub him.

After all, the worse that can happen is that he comes after me with an even greater vengeance. And it's not like I can't withstand him. I'll always be here. And so will he. Hopefully, we'll be here together.

A/N: Excerpt at the beginning is from "The Phantom of the Opera" by Andrew Lloyd Webber. I am not ALW. I look nothing like ALW. I own nothing in this fic, except the concept.