AN: And here is the last little addendum to the story. This chapter is about the closest I'll ever get to writing a cross-over fic, by the way. Be warned - this chapter serves no purpose and is very, very silly. Please Enjoy!
The Snow Queen - Epilogue
"You've got to be kidding me," Rei said flatly.
Mina, holding up a scarlet kimono and obi sash, smiled determinedly at Rei.
"You said you wanted to help me make it up to them," she reminded the dark haired girl.
"That was when I thought you'd come up with something sensible. But this -"
"It's what they did in high school!" she yelled.
Mako, Usagi and Ami stared at her in surprise.
"They played dress up?" Mako asked, dumbfounded.
"No!" Mina snapped, "They had a club – a Host Club."
"No way!" Mako yelled.
"What's a Host Club?" Usagi asked.
"It's a club where young men entertain customers with conversation and sometimes singing," Ami explained, "and they get paid for it."
"Mamo-chan isn't going to be a part of that is he!?" Usagi exclaimed, "He better not flirt with other women!"
"No, no, it's nothing like that," Mako explained, "besides, Mamoru wasn't even in their club, Nephrite said he's only recently been inducted and I think they don't actually practice their host skills anymore anyway."
Usagi glowered and muttered dire threats under her breath.
"So, you want me to wear a kimono...why?" Rei asked.
"Because," Mina replied, "what better way to make up for trashing the majority of their Host Club than by having a Hostess Club?"
There was a brief silence.
"I really can't follow your chain of logic at all," Rei sighed, "do you think you could explain to those of us who live in the real world?"
Mina took a deep breath:
"I just thought that, since they had such a bad evening at my house, that we could pretend to be a Hostess Club for one night and leave them with some good memories. It isn't for real, obviously, just for fun – and you don't have to do it if you don't want to.." she trailed off, grumbling.
"Well," Mako spoke up, "Actually, I think it might be kind of fun."
"You're not serious?" Rei remarked.
"Yeah, I am," Mako replied, "I think it would something fun to do. Come on, lighten up, Rei. You might actually have a good time."
"I think it might be fun too," Usagi put in, "do we get to wear pretty clothes?"
"Yeah," Mina chimed, "I've been reading all about it in this manga I just bought -"
"Uh, manga aren't the most acurate -" Ami began.
" - And it says there are different types!" Mina continued, "so, all we have to do is determine your types and then we'll dress you and market you accordingly!"
"That does not sound in the least appealing," Rei commented.
"Mina, I don't think that's really how -" Ami began again.
"Now, Usagi, you get to be the 'Princess' type," Mina explained.
"Really!? This is going to be so much fun!!! What do I get to wear!?" she bounced up and down.
"Well that's decided that," Mako commented wryly.
"And Ami-chan will be the 'cool, intelligent' type."
"Uh, I don't know about this, Mina, I really don't -" Ami murmured.
"Mako will be the sexy, little devil type," Mina continued.
"Uh, but I'm really not like that at all," Mako spoke up, beginning to feel uncomfortable, "I don't want to be that."
"Oh?" Mina slowed down, "Well, then, how about the 'wild, exotic type', although I was saving that for Rei..."
"No offense, Mako," Mina continued, "but I just don't see you as 'lolicon type'."
"Are you kidding me!?" Rei exploded.
"This is insane!"
"Not to mention gross!" Mako chimed in.
"No, it'll work! I promise! Please, Rei, this is such a good idea, and Usagi is already so excited.. how can you refuse her!?"
Rei closed her eyes against the barrage of two pairs of watery blue orbs that pleaded pathetically.
"Fine." She hissed, "but I get to assign the roles."
"Ok," Mina agreed cheerfully.
"That means I'll be the cool type, Ami will be the cute little girl type -"
"Cute girl," Rei exclaimed, menacingly, "Usagi can be the princess..."
"Mako can be..." she considered for a moment, "the – what did you call it type?"
"Is there just a 'normal type'?" Mako interrupted.
"Well, yeah but it's not very -"
"Mako can be that," Rei decided.
"That's not fair -" Mina began, but a look from Rei silenced her.
"And you will be the little devil."
Mina's face fell.
"But I wanted to be the cute type," she muttered, "I think my way was better."
"Now, let's get started because they'll be here in less than an hour." Rei suggested.
Mina handed out the clothes she'd prepared and briefed them on the finer points of Hostess Club etiquette she'd acquired from her reading, while Ami made adjustments and additions to these from what she actually knew of real Host Clubs, and they managed to turn Mina's living room into a very comfortable, elegant place.
Forty-five minutes later Ami wouldn't come out of the bathroom.
"What's wrong now?" Rei asked, adjusting the fake glasses Mina had given her, and trying not to scratch the sleek wool a-line skirt she was wearing.
Guys really like this kind of thing? She wondered.
"I c-can't come out in this, it's too embarrassing," Ami mumbled, her voice muffled by the door.
"Oh, come on, it can't be that bad!" Mako yelled.
"Speak for yourself," Rei quipped, "You get to wear normal clothes."
Mako was dressed normally, though Mina had cleverly added a few touches here and there that suggested a 'wilder' side.
"Come on, Ami-chan," Rei urged, "the guys will be here any minute."
"I'm not coming out!"
"What's wrong?" Mina asked, tucking her thumbs into the suspenders over her white shirt, "doesn't she like the dress? I thought it was pretty cute."
"It can't be worse than what you're wearing," Rei grumbled. Mina's shirt was rather short, as were her shorts. The cap on her head was tilted at a rakish angle.
"Their called 'short pants' in England," she retorted, "and there's nothing wrong with them."
Makoto rolled her eyes.
"I'm ready!" Usagi sang, twirling around in a soft white garden party concoction.
"Ami!" Rei knocked on the door, "Please just come out. If you don't like it you can trade with one of us."
"...Really?" Ami asked.
"Yes, just come out."
The door creaked open and Ami timidly stepped out of Mina's bathroom. All the girls gasped.
"You look so cute!" Mako squealed.
"Look at her little ribbons!" Usagi shouted.
"You do look pretty, Ami," Rei commented, "I understand if you don't want to wear this, but..."
"It's perfect, Ami," Mina declared, "You have to wear it. You look better in it than even I did."
"Such humility," Rei murmured.
The door bell rang.
"It's too late to change your mind now!" Mako quipped, "Ready or not, here they are."
She opened the door as five befuddled young men entered Mina's apartment.
"Uh, hi Makoto," Mamoru greeted her, "Mina's said she -"
He stopped abruptly as he caught sight of Rei in her skirt, elegant turtle neck and glasses.
"Wow." Nephrite commented.
Zoisite cleared his throat and rose on his tip toes to peer over the other mens' shoulders.
"What is it?" Jadeite asked, "Can we go in or not?"
Rei took a breath and closed her eyes for a small moment.
"Welcome to the Aino Hostess Club," she recited unenthusiastically, "please come in and let us...do I really have to say this?"
"Yes!" a voice hissed from somewhere beyond the living room.
"Please let us entertain you, won'tyoucomein?" she hurriedly finished.
"Let me guess," Kunzite said cooly, stepping into the room and pushing Mamoru over the door step.
"This is Mina's idea of an apology."
"Yeah," Rei answered.
"Hm...well, gentlemen," he turned to eye them all somberly, "someone ratted us out."
They all stared innocently back.
He turned away in disappointment and caught a glimpse of Mina's figure sitting on the couch.
"I guess we'll just have to put up with it," he sighed, but there was a smirk on his face.
The other men practically fell into the living room in their haste to get through the door.
"Hey, sweetheart," Nephrite called to Makoto, "do we get to pick our favorite hostess?"
"Yes, if you pick wisely," Mako hinted menacingly.
"Sounds good to me."
"Rei?" Jadeite asked as he stood tongue-tied in front of his fiance.
"Do I look as silly as I feel?" she mumbled.
"Uh..." he gulped, "no..."
"This was all Mina's idea."
"Remind me to thank her," he muttered.
"Which type do you prefer, Mamoru?" Mina asked brightly.
"Um...Odanga Atama, actually," he grinned, "do you happen to have one?"
"I'm a princess type!" Usagi appeared out of nowhere, "And I expect to be treated as such."
"I thought you were supposed to treat me?" he suggested.
"Only if you promise to behave." she warned.
"Of course," he smiled charmingly, "I am the prince type, after all. Right, Zoi?"
"That's what we agreed on when you were inducted." Zoisite corroborated.
"Where's Ami?" he asked, peering around.
"I'll tell you if you tell me what type you were in your club." Mina answered.
Zoistie put his hands on his hips and said, "You are too nosy for you're own good. But if you must know I was the cute one, of course."
"What a coincidence," Mina replied, grabbing Ami from her hiding spot behind a potted plant and practically throwing her at Zoisite.
They collided into one another and Ami blushed furiously.
"Please don't laugh," she said, "I think I'm going to kill Mina."
"We're going to canonize Mina!" he declared, his eyes traveling all over Ami's petite form in her frilly dress, gloves and stockings- at least she'd managed to make herself look less like a little girl than the costume intended.
"And then you can kill her," he added, "if you want to."
"I'm afraid I can't allow it," Kunzite remarked, "Mina must continue to live unmolested."
"Why is that?" Mamoru asked dryly.
"Because life would be too boring without her," Kunzite replied, shaking his head tragically.
"Hey!" Mina remarked, jabbing him in the ribs.
"Anyone want some punch!?" she called happily.
Three of the men turned pale.
"That's ok," Mamoru spoke for all of them, "I'll just have some water."
"Yeah!" Jadeite and Nephrite agreed, while Zoisite looked on in surprise.
"Maybe you should have water too," Ami suggested in a low voice.
"Sure," he agreed, puzzled.
"I'll have punch, thanks." Kunzite answered.
The other men looked at him with an odd mixture of fear and awe.
He merely smiled.
"Mina, what did you put in this punch!?" Mako called from the kitchen, hiccuping. She and Rei were giggling together about something while Usagi downed a glass of the pink liquid.
"I didn't put anything it it this time," Mina said in confusion, looking at her own glass. Then her eyes widened in shock.
"Wait! You didn't get the bottle out of the fridge did you-"
Mako and Rei were starting to sing something while Usagi joined in at awkward moments before falling on her bottom in the middle of the kitchen, laughing.
"Oh, no," Mina sighed.
Kunzite was coughing so hard he could barely breathe.
"You drugged my fiance?" Jadeite asked, blinking.
Mina said nothing but reached for Kunzite's drink and gulped it down.
"It's going to be a long night," Ami murmured.
"This time, I'm not the one cleaning up the mess!" Mina announced.
Rei, Makoto and Usagi had long ago fallen asleep. The three of them were curled up together on Mina's bed while Mina was curled up next to Kunzite on her couch, trying not to fall asleep. Jadeite and Nephrite were sitting comfortably beside the couple across from Mamoru in one chair and Ami and Zoisite in the other.
"Well, Mina, I have to say," Neph remarked, "I've never had an apology quite like this one."
"I said I was sorry," Mina grumbled, but she was mostly asleep.
Kunzite smiled and stroked her hair.
"You know, Mamoru," he spoke up, "you were going to tell us how you met Tsukino-san. I'm very interested in hearing about it."
"Yeah," Zoisite added, sleepily, his chin perched on Ami's head, "That's got to be an interesting story."
"Oh it's interesting alright, not as strange as some, but definitely not boring."
"Tell us," Neph said, "I need a good bedtime story."
"Ok, ok," Mamoru smiled, "everyone get comfortable because it's a long story."
"Good," Ami murmured happily, "I like long stories."