a/n: I just recently have found a soft spot for the LxMisa pairing, although I've (admittedly) been an L fangirl for a long time. Anyway, I just thought I'd contribute to the LxMisa collection on the site by writing this. : ) It was a spur-of-the-moment thing, but I hope you all enjoy and review!


Guys like him are not Misa-Misa's type.

They go right for Misa's ass, and they are always watching. Watching, watching, watching, in the creepiest, most perverted way. For a while, she forced a chill down her spine whenever she looked at him.

They wear sloppy clothes and lick their fingers, sometimes, after eating something that Misa-Misa would never actually eat and only touch so she could smile and hold it up and look cute.

He was disgusting, digusting, disgusting.

He held his cell phone oddly and he smiled like a little kid, sometimes. He sat oddly and didn't like shoes at all (Misa-Misa loves shoes).

And, no, it didn't stop there. It went beyond dislike or disgust and into hate. Because this man – this digusting, disgusting, digusting man – was out for the life of her most important person. Light. She loved Light.

Light was her type. No, he was more than Misa's type, he was everything she ever wanted.

Light was a god. He was powerful and good and just, handsome, well-mannered, well-groomed, clever. He was perfect and shining and glorious. In her dreams he has wings, and he would take her hand, and then she would be able to fly.

In her dreams, she sometimes dreams of Ryuuzaki. L.

(She didn't know that digusting, digusting man's real name, which is part of what made him so digusting.)

Her dreams contributed, too. They are digusting, digusting things. He is poisoning Misa-Misa's mind! He gives Misa nightmares, where Misa's Light is captured and killed.

He makes her relive these things, and that is cruel. Why would anyone want Misa-Misa to suffer? Hasn't she hurt enough?

He also gives Misa nightmares in which he is killed, by Misa's own hands. By Light's pen. But by Misa's eyes, red with power and Ryuuzaki's blood.

No, no, no.

Disgusting.

Disgraceful.

Voyeur!

But Misa couldn't stop, because he has a power over Misa. She had to be quiet and respect him, to some degree, but that is not not not because there is anything for Misa to respect. She must play a charade, play the girlfriend, the friend, the pretty idol-actress that Misa is.

It was for Light, and Misa would have died for him (she played for and was played by him).

Ryuzaki is – was - Misa's friend, maybe. But that was only for a short time when she forgot how horrible he was, and how it felt to always have his eyes on her, on her all the time.

How awful it felt, too, to have his eyes off her.

And Misa can't explain, even now, why. Why she could feel such things for him, when she could only feel them for Light.

Misa can not tell what it is, that makes her feel this way. He is sloppy and gross and not her type. But there's something about his hand, his sugar-sticky hand, that Misa can feel even now. Like his touch has made a warm spot on her skin, that she can still feel even though it's been too long.

Misa-Misa would never dare to calculate, but she dared say there was something about this kind of feeling that no one could calculate.

So, even if he was disgusting, digusting, disgusting, there was something intangible that she couldn't help and couldn't put her finger on. There is something that cannot be helped or held back, and it makes her feel disgusting, digusting, disgusting.

Misa-Misa is confused.

Without Light there's only grays and sharp pain, and without L there's a soreness and an ache.

Misa-Misa misses both of them so much.

Misa-Misa thinks she's going to jump.