Author's Note: So if you're anything like other BBers out there, you haven't been able to get what is going to happen this Tuesday out of your head. Something big, something very squee/squoon worthy. So...with that said, in an effort to get through these next few days, I came up with this. It could be considered as spoilerish, that is if you've been living under a rock this past week or so. (And I mean that in the nicest way possible, really).
So, would you be so kind as to read and review? ;)...From one B/B shipper to another, I'm sure you know how it feels.
Disclaimer: I in no way own the characters, and therefore gain no profit. Basically, don't bother suing. You won't get much.
Booth pulled his jacket tightly around him, somehow comforted by the D.C. wind. He shuffled his feet as his gaze settled upon one Temperance Brennan, who at the moment was perched on a bench just three feet away from him. They'd barely spoke since what happened between them earlier that day. In reality, Booth was aware of the fact that he didn't have to do what he'd done-that other than offending the age old tradition of mistletoe, and possibly upsetting Brennan, he could have easily pulled back.
Still, as he watched her intent gaze as she bore her eyes deeply into her coffee, Booth knew Brennan had to have been thinking about the same thing he was. "Long day?"He asked, choosing to end the battle of whether or not he'd simply go and talk to her.
Brennan shot her eyes up in his direction in surprise. It was evident that she hadn't expected anyone. "I guess you could say that. Paperwork isn't the most entertaining thing to do."
"I guess that answers my second question."Booth sighed as he sat down on the bench next to her.
"What are you talking about?"Brennan asked, an air of curiosity around her.
Booth offered a light smile, laughing softly as he shook his head. "The reason you were suddenly trapped in your office all afternoon. I was beginning to think that maybe you were hiding."
"I wasn't-"She began, finally sighing in defeat. Try as she might, Brennan knew she'd been caught.
"Hey.."Booth called, urging her to look at him. Darting his tongue out to moisten his lips, he offered a gentle nod. "You don't have to hide from me."
Brennan watched Booth's gaze, knowing that what he said was the truth. She had always felt the most safe and secure around him, but after they kissed in front of everyone, under mistletoe, thoughts of everything changing too fast wrecked havoc on Brennan's already fragile mind. "I know."She replied simply.
They sat in silence for a few minutes, neither truly knowing what to say. It was clear that something was changing between them, but neither Booth or Brennan were willing to admit that fact. "Bones, I-"Booth paused, rubbing his neck before turning his head in her direction. His lips parted slightly as his eyes narrowed, staring intently into her suddenly sharp blue eyes. He'd always thought she was beautiful, but somehow in that moment, Booth was taken even further off guard.
"Yes?"Brennan asked, curious as to what he wanted to say. When she saw him staring back at her, her breath hitched inside her chest. Brennan knew she wasn't good at reading people, but somehow she still knew the look in his eye. She swallowed a lump that was fighting to grow in her throat before again urging him to continue.
"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry if I made you...uncomfortable earlier."Booth said, feeling somewhat ridiculous. Had it been anyone else he'd kissed or anyone else he'd talked to, Booth wouldn't have had the problem. "I know you're probably going to say that it was just some biological urge, or that we were pressured to because everyone else was there watching, but-"
"No, I'm not."Brennan quickly defended. "I'm not saying that it was under the most comfortable of circumstances, but you don't have to apologize to me, Booth."She took a deep breath, looking straight ahead before continuing. It was a thought that had been a constant in Brennan's mind ever since the kiss happened, and while she's tried to rationalize it every way that she could, she knew that logically the only way to really know was to ask him. "Why didn't you pull back?"
Booth's eyes widened as he hadn't expected the question. Clearing his throat, Booth knew that there was no choice but to be honest with her. As Brennan looked at him with so much trust in her eyes, it struck him just how much she meant to him. "Because I didn't want to."
Her stomach flipped as she tried to perfect an answer. "So you're saying that you...wanted to kiss me?"Brennan asked, her voice rising a little as she ended her question. Though she felt a tinge of fear, when she felt Booth turn toward her it was soon replaced by a hope she'd never known before.
"Yes."Came Booth's simple reply. He wasn't sure of what else he could possibly say. Fear began racing through his mind, because even though Booth knew they had already crossed a dramatically big line, the actually admitting it was what made him afraid of the fact that Brennan could still run away. "Bones, something happened between us today. Yeah, there was mistletoe. Yeah, there were people watching...but a part of me is glad that Caroline pushed me underneath it with you."Booth stopped just long enough to steal a glance in her direction. When he didn't see her objecting, Booth decided to continue. "Because out of everyone that was there earlier that could have been under that mistletoe..."He laughed, smiling a little. "I'm glad that it was you."
Brennan listened as Booth spoke, soaking up every word. He wanted to kiss her? He was glad that she had been there? Of course thinking that he would have regretted it would have been a ridiculous notion, but it was still a scenario that Brennan couldn't help but play out in her mind. "But why me, Booth? I don't understand..."She whispered harshly, her words finally getting lost in the wind.
"I know you don't, Bones."Booth said, the back of his hand grazing her cheek. "But I want you to. I want you to know that I could never regret what happened earlier, because I..."The words fell from Booth's lips as he realized what he was about to say.
"Because you what, Booth?"Brennan asked, feeling his hand still gracing her face. When he didn't speak, a well began to break inside of her. Memories from Christmases before, and of her partnership with Booth. She realized that despite not knowing what was going on, she'd never felt more secure than she did in that moment. It seemed that no one stayed in her life for that long for a good reason, but for three years, Booth had always remained a constant in her life in one way or another. "Were you going to say that you loved me?"Brennan asked, fear laced through her voice.
Booth drew in a sharp breath, knowing that him not saying anything would surely upset her. "Well, I guess it's not the most romantic way of doing it, but yeah."He said, nervously laughing. "I do."
Brennan nodded as if she were accepting it. "Booth, I...I'm not sure."
Though his heart sank, Booth knew he wasn't disappointed. "It's okay, Bones. I'm not trying to pressure you."
"No, I mean I...love has always been a hard concept for me to grasp. Scientifically, love can't exist. It abandons all logic and all boundaries that scientifical theories would adhere to."Brennan said, noting Booth tense up beside her. "But somehow, I can't help but feel that maybe I love you, too."
Booth was suddenly aware of his own heart's pounding as he heard Brennan utter the words that until that moment he'd only heard in his dreams.
"But if we're honest here, I have to say..."She shrugged, unshed tears daring to fall from her lids. "I'm a little scared."
"Hey..."Booth whispered as he reached to wipe them away. "You don't have to be. It's okay, Bones. Whatever's happening here...we'll work through it."
"Together?"Brennan asked, suddenly feeling shaky due to the cold.
Booth nodded, instinctively pulling her close. Their coffee cups sat forgotten on the ground as he knew he had to say it in an effort to make it true. "Together." He nodded again before carefully placing his lips against hers. It wasn't nearly as open as the one under the mistletoe had been, but it was to let her know that whatever happened, he would be there for her. Pulling back slowly, Booth moved a strand of hair behind Brennan's ear. He knew it was late; knew that he'd be faced with an onslaught of complaints as to why he was so tired in the morning from Parker when his mother brought him over. But as Booth stared at Brennan, and as he heard the faint ringing of a midnight church bell in the distance, Booth felt a well of hope spring up within him. "Merry Christmas, Bones."
Brennan nodded, reveling in the feeling of how their hands felt when clasped together. She offered a smile, because she knew that all of the confusion had been stripped away. There was a feeling of unsteadiness, but what Brennan knew was that regardless of what came their way, she would always have Booth. Giving Booth's hand a squeeze, Brennan drew in a breath. "Merry Christmas, Booth."