. : Invitation : .


This is Uchiha Sasuke.

You know, raven hair, Chicken-haired style, onyx eyes—which turns to my bloodline limit namely Sharingan, the genius, top notcher, excellent ninja, the sole survivor of the massacred Uchiha clan, your school mate, your team mate, ex-team mate, your friend, foe, the traitor, your childhood crush, your first love and last—yeah, you get the idea.

I'll cut the 'beating around the bush' crap and get this over with.

I'm inviting you to my birthday party.

Yes, I'm throwing a party.

Surprise. Surprise.

I'm socializing just like what that stupid Rokudaime—Hatake Kakashi-sensei lectured me for hours until my ears bled and my eyes popped out. Damnated sensei. Rot in hell you sicko!

Anyway, you're invited. The guest list consists of only one name—yours alone.


I'm socializing! Socializing!

No, I will not and will I ever in my right mind invite that blonde idiot and self-proclaimed—even though he is in training to become the seventh—Hokage named Uzumaki Naruto. I know he'll do something crazy. I can feel it.

Definitely NO dickless Sai too. I don't want to send his body to the hospital, again.

Especially NO Kakashi. I've had enough of his 'lectures' already. I just washed my brain, damnit!

The party venue would be at the Uchiha estate, at my mansion. Yes. Mansion. I'm stinking filthy rich remember? I own a part of Konoha. I thank my sick and derailed brother for leaving me all the clan's fortune.

Gift? Tomatoes would be nice. Fresh ones. I'd like a basket of them, or a life-time supply would be delightful. Could you put Onigiri in the package too?

Dress code? No, no dress code. You can wear anything you like. Though I prefer clothes with less buttons so I wouldn't be hard to tear it off of you. Don't say I didn't warn you. Oh, fitted clothes will do fine. Although I'd like to see more of your flesh skin. See-through clothes will do well for my libido.

Ah, yes, the party starts at six p.m., sharp. You better be there! Don't make me barge in, make a scene and drag your ass here.

Or maybe you could, that sounds like fun.

You're asking about the party proper itself? Why? You want me to blow some cake? Break the piñata? Or pin the horse's tail while wearing a blindfold? Heh, you wish. I have a different game in mind.

People call it playing with fire. I call it exercise. But this game requires talent. Yes you have to be creative and imaginative. It also requires flexibility. You'll be bending a lot. Speed, because you need to keep up with me. And you need stamina, because we'll be doing it all night or until the next morning.

Do you think you can handle that? Huh, Haruno Sakura?

I know you've grown quite fond of gambling and miserably losing bets just like your shisou, don't worry, I'll go easy on you. I'll even let you dominate me. Smirk.

It's a pity that you didn't inherit your shisou's alcohol tolerance. Poor you, I ordered trucks of sake just for you. I'm looking forward to your drunken self again. I'm actually expecting that you'd give me a very entertaining live show and that lap dance I've been dreaming of.


I think I've said about enough.

I'm off to buy condom at the convenience store.


Uchiha Sasuke

p.s. What flavor do you like? Strawberry or Grapes?

Haruno Sakura dropped the letter to the ground and started running towards the raven haired man who handed him the letter, screaming:

"Wait Sasuke-kun! Plain flavor! I mean—Natural! I'd like it to be natural! NATURAL!"

Uchiha Sasuke invites you ALL to come and watch behind the bushes while he commemorates his birthday celebration! Drool, stare all you want and die afterwards!