Title: Letters
Author: gamerchick02
Show: CSI
Pairing: GSR (Gil/Sara)
Genre: Angst
Rating: G
Disclaimer: I don't own them. If I did, Sara would never have left.
Summary: Grissom gets letters and responds to them.
Spoilers: Everything that's aired so far, but mostly Goodbye and Good Luck.
Notes: From Grissom's POV. First part of two.

I woke up to my "day off" alarm. It was Tuesday. Wait, no, it was Thursday. I changed my day off when Sara left. Sara left. It makes my heart hurt to think of it.

I did my normal morning routine; that is, as normal as I can have a routine without Sara in it. Took the dog out, played with him, fed him, ate breakfast, watched CNN.

CNN was in the middle of talking about the Iraq war when I heard the mail truck pull up to my house. Probably bills. I waited until the truck departed, and I walked out there to retrieve it.

I went back in, and plopped the mail down on the counter. It was as I thought; bills, junk, more junk and a personal letter. Personal letter? Wait... is that Sara's handwriting? My hands shook as I picked it up and opened it, slowly. I closed my eyes as I let my hands touch the paper that she had held. I felt an energy in the letter as I touched it. She's still out there. I sighed, opened my eyes, and started to read:


I am sorry for departing so quickly. Vegas was becoming stifling to me. I loved Vegas when I arrived, but started to hate it more and more while I was there. The crime rate was going up, and I couldn't deal with all the death.

You are still my one and only. I have never felt so happy when I was living with and loving you. There are no words to express how I feel about you.

I have decided to stay in California and have started to finish my degree in Physics from UC Berkley. I got re-admitted with my credentials and my life experience. I'm teaching two classes as well as working on two projects that count as classes. I'm learning so much.

After this year, I should have my master's completed and I will begin working toward my doctorate. Physics is definitely where I want to go with my life. It is the most holistic of the sciences, and brings everything together.

I have been working hard. I wish you knew how much I cared about you. You are the best thing to have come into my life. I hope I can return to Vegas after I complete my degree. Your marriage proposal still stands.

I will love you always.

Your dearest,


Well, at least she's doing ok. God, I miss her. She is the best thing to come into my life.

Where did I put that envelope? I need her return address! I hunted through the trashcan, and found it. Yes, she was at UC Berkley. She was in a graduate dorm room, from the looks of her address.

I started writing:

My dearest Sara.

I miss you so much. Yes, you did depart quickly, but I understand why you did. I also understand why you did what you did before you left. The kiss was incredible.

I'm glad you have found a safe place for you to work. I'm glad you have found happiness.

I know exactly how much you care about me. You are the best thing to come into my life, dear. I'm glad my marriage proposal still stands. I still want to get married to you.

I will love you forever.


I put it in an envelope and sealed it and put a stamp on it as quickly as I could. It would have to go out tomorrow, but I won't be impatient.

It was two weeks later when I went out to the mailbox again and found a letter from Sara. My hands, again, started to shake. I breathed in the scent of engineering paper and of Sara. She must have run out of regular paper. Anyway, I started to read:


Thank you so much for responding to my last letter. I miss you as well, and I'm glad the kiss was as good for you as it was for me.

School is going very well. I have been teaching two more labs in addition to my other duties because one of the other teaching assistants is out on medical leave.

I have been asked to work at the LA CSI lab. I'm not sure if I will take their offer. For one thing, you aren't there. For another, forensics was what I was trying to get away from. If I can take a job in the lab studying trajectories, I might do it, but I would like to finish my studies first.

Do you have any offers for teaching here at UC Berkley? I would love to see you. You're a very in-demand instructor and I'm sure the Biology and Entomology departments would love to have your insight. I might be able to audit the class. Actually, I'd look forward to it.

You are still the best thing that has come into my life. I look forward to seeing you as soon as I can. I'm very busy with school and work right now, but I treasure your letters when I receive them.

I'll love you forever.

Your dearest,


My heart melted. She wants me to come and visit her! I started to go through all my invitations to lecture at universities and colleges. I found one that was recently sent (about a week ago) and opened it. It was from UC Berkley and was for teaching forensic entomology to master's level students. The invitation was for two months. That might work.

I started another letter:

My dearest Sara,

I love receiving your letters in the mail. It is always a thrill when I get one. I savor it.

I'm glad school is going well. It sounds as if you are busy. Do whatever will make you happy; if it's working at the CSI lab, then take it. If it's finishing up your studies, then do that. I can't make that decision for you, just like I couldn't make the decision you made to leave.

I do have an offer to teach at UC Berkley. It starts in three months and is for two months. The letter is from the Criminal Studies department, so I would be teaching there. I would absolutely allow you to audit my class, although you might distract me from my main job while I'm up there.

If I were to take this offer, would you be able to see me on a regular basis? Would we be able to get together for coffee and dinner and other things while I'm there? Maybe it would be interesting if I moved into your dorm room. Well, maybe not, knowing how small those rooms can be!

I'm glad you are still in love with me, for I am very much in love with you. There can be no other person in my life. I love you.


Again, I put the letter in an envelope and put a stamp on it. I hoped I wouldn't have to wait too long for her next letter.

I started getting things together for another sabbatical. I instructed Catherine on what I was doing and I also gave her what she'd need in my absence. I was diligent in signing off on cases, because I'm normally not that on top of things. I hate paperwork.

I sent in for the visiting instructor position, which was confirmed in less than a week. I guess I am in demand. Anyway, I looked at where I'd be living, and it was in the graduate housing dorm. I wonder if it's the same place Sara is in? Well, I'll soon enough find out.

It was three weeks before I left to teach when I got another letter from Sara. I really hadn't noticed when I didn't get a letter from her, as I was very busy. This one seemed to have an excited air about it as I read:


I'm so glad you accepted the offer to teach! I will get a chance to see you! You make me very happy.

I will be auditing your class.

I noticed that you will be staying in the graduate dorms. I'm living there! I hope we can get together when you are here. The dorms are small, and I'm sure you would prefer to have your own room.

I'm so excited! You probably don't have too much time on your hands, with preparing for the class.

I'm looking forward to your visit. Please tell me what time you will be arriving in California, so I can meet you.

I still love you forever. You are the only one for me.

Your dearest,


I sighed.

I finally will have a chance to see her, after six months of not hearing anything, and then writing letters for three months. It will be a joy.