"So the reading of the will is going to be on Friday." House's mother told him over the phone. His younger sister Isabel had died over the last week after a car accident. "When will you be getting here?" she asked.
"Uhm, I'm not sure. It depends on the she-devil with big chest." He responded.
"You really shouldn't talk about Lisa that way." She told him.
"I gave her a compliment, I could had said she had tiny boobs, but then I might have to pay attention to what she is saying verses the heaving of her bosom." He responded.
"We'll see you tomorrow afternoon then." She said and hung up the phone.
House spent the next twenty minutes trying to find away around the proxy server to look up internet porn, when Cuddy entered his office, "So when were you planning on asking me to go to the funeral and reading of your sister's will?"
"Oh six weeks from never, what's the password to get around this? You know I don't work well with out my naked ladies, preferably hot naked ladies, patients and nurses aren't as responsive as you would think to some action in the rooms."
"You're not getting the password, and your sister?"
"Ok, well maybe I should try 'useless vagina'." Cuddy put her hands on her hips and didn't look too pleased, "Of course that wouldn't be it, you're too clever then to make the password your nick-name."
She rolled her eyes and headed back out the door, "Be back Monday."
House arrived at the airport at 6:30am for his parent's house. Seven hours later, the taxicab was pulling up the street of his childhood. He paid the driver and sat on the stoop of his parent's house. He couldn't do it. He couldn't go in and see his parents and his niece. So he sat outside, like he had done several times as a child, just sitting there wishing his sister was going to pop out behind a bush and announce it had all been a cruel joke, but after forty minutes, she hadn't jumped out from behind the bush. He would had continued sitting there if his niece Rebeka hadn't come outside.
"Hi." She said to him as cheerily as she could. Rebeka was only three years old, and didn't really understand that her mother was dead.
"Hi Becky." He said flatly.
She looked at his cane, "What for?"
"Poking little girls who ask too many questions." He said in a stiff tone. Little tears welled up in her eyes, "Oh come on, there are worse things then being poked. You could be old and bitter like Dr Big Boobs."
They probably would have sat and talked for a little while longer, but Mr. and Mrs. House came out the front door. "Gregory, when did you get here?" he asked his son.
"I don't know, mom, when did your hips spread beyond repair?"
"What?" Rebeka asked.
"It means Uncle Greg is going to be spending a lot of time in his room." House Sr said.
The next couple of days were a bit of a blur; by Friday House had been subjected to a barrage of relatives and mourners, neither of which he had any patients for. At 3 O'clock on the dot, Isabel's lawyer knocked on the door. House, deciding his sister's will was nothing of interest to him, took Rebeka to get ice cream. When asked why he was being so nice to her, he replied that little girls are chick magnets.
When they returned the lawyer was still there, his mother was crying, and his dad looked a little confused. "Dr House," the lawyer started, "are you aware of your sister's intentions for Rebeka?" he shook his head no, "She left her most prized possession, her daughter, to you."
"Are you sure she wasn't drunk when she made that decision?" he demanded.
"No, Ms House wanted you to take care of her baby."
"But I don't know the first thing about babies, why didn't she leave her with our parents?" he asked.
"Ms House said that she didn't want to force her parents into raising children again in their retirement." He said. "She told me that there was no one in the world who take care of Rebeka better then you." He said trying to comfort him.
"Then either the world is even more crappy then I remember or my sister was a basket case."
Rebeka had been in the other room and over hearing things, "You no want me?" her sad blue eyes, just like Isabel's, just like his, starred up at her.
"Of course I do Becky, I just don't know what to do you with you or where to put you, or if I could remember to feed you, and then Dr Big Boobs would have a field day…." He had started rambling and only stopped when Rebeka began to cry. Everyone looked at him with sad hopeful eyes, piercing blue from his parents and puppy dog brown from Mr. Melvin, the lawyer. "Fine. If it will get everyone to stop looking at me like that, I'll take her."
Before he knew it, it was Sunday and time to go home. His mom had spent hours on the phone with the airline to get his tickets updated to accommodate Rebeka as well. Mr. Melvin had told him her stuff would be mailed to him with in the next week, so there they were, sitting in the back seat of his parent's car being driven to the airport. "Ok, son, now you call us as soon as your plane lands."
"Yes Mommy, and can I please stay out past curfew just this once, oh please please please?" he asked in that sarcastic house tone of his.
"Greg," his father started, "don't be so rude to your mother, she has put up with a lot from you over the years and considering what has happened in the last couple of weeks she doesn't need any more."
"Sorry." He mumbled. After a minute of silence he opened the car door, "Ok Becky, lets go fly in a big steal bird." She didn't quite understand what he meant but followed her into the terminal anyway.