Finale: Last Statements

A brunette walked out onto the middle of the stage. Her curly hair bouncing as she went. She grabbed the mic from its stand and looked out into the small crowd.

"Hello everyone! This is Selene speaking. I just wanted to let you all know that as of this very moment, the first chapter of the sequel to "Something About Her Eyes" is posted! You can check my profile for the new story. It's called 'Finding Home' so go check it out!" Selene went to put the mic back on the stand, when a muffeled voice sounded from backstage. She looked puzzled for a moment, but then frowned.

"So you're saying that if this little bonus chapter is about 1000 words long, my word count will officially be 20,000? Well, I don't know. That seems like cheating to me. Besides, most of the words are probably from my author's notes. And what else would I have to say?" She crossed her arms, unsure. The voice sounded again.

"Thank people? This isn't like the Academy Awards! It's just supposed to be an announcement about the sequel. I mean, it would probably be nice to thank people for reading and reviewing, but really, taking up a whole separate chapter is pretty stupid. And the rules say not to do that! What happens if my story gets deleted?" The voice spoke again, and now Selene looked shocked!

"No! This is not going to turn into some random crack chapter where the 'Naruto' cats suddenly appears out of nowhere!" She started waving her arms around, frantically looking backstage to see who was speaking. From the other side of the stage, a woman with medium length black hair walked out.

"I think it's a little late for that. So why don't you just thank the readers already?" Selene turned around, eyes wide.

"Oh. Mah. Ramen. Why are you here?" Selene stood gaping at the woman. Said woman crossed her arms.

"Look if you would just get this over with, there wouldn't be a problem anymore, now would there. So hurry up." Selene frowned, but walked back to the middle of the stage.

"Well, seeing as I'd rather not make Kirari angry, I'm going to thank my readers." She took in a deep breath and began talking.

"Thanks go out to anyone and everyone who read my story. Even though some of you didn't review the chapters, I know you read, which is what counts! SO BIG THANKS TO ALL OF YOU! And with that, I'd like to say that I know that the first few chapters of SAHE are terribly written. I've gained experience, so I'm going to rewrite the first three or so when I find time." Selene took another deep breath before going on.

"On top of that, I'd like you all to know that the school year is over for me next week. This means two things. One, I'll be taking my finals this week and next. Two is that even though I'm going to have a busy summer, I should be able to write more, and faster!"

Selene stopped, and let out a sigh. She turned to face Kirari.

"I'm done thanking everyone. Can I go now?" She pleaded. Kirari rolled her eyes.

"You're only halfway there. Just ramble or something. I'm only here to make you stay on." Kirari shrugged at Selene's pleading look.

"Fine! I WILL!" Selene huffed. "So I've got like a bajillion stories to work on, and I'll probably focus on some of my more neglected stories. "Teach Me Soemthing, The Miscellaneous Misadventures of Mizuki Fujioka, The 100 Themes Challenge (on deviantart). I've also got a fun idea I might try. I call it "The Pairing Obliterator". I take a suggested pairing, and to my best ability, write an oneshot that completely ruins it. I'd start out doing my favorite pairings, so that it won't be bashing. It's more of a fun way to practice writing than anything else." Selene paused, looking around.

"Well, that's about it. I mean really, do you expect me to write a 1000 word Aothor's Note-slash-crack chapter?" Selene looked around expectantly.

"Actually, I do." Kakashi stepped out from behind the curtain.

"Whaaaat? Kakashi? Why are you here?" Selene sputtered. Looking frantically from him to Kirari, who looked very uncomfortable.

"Well we didn't appreciate your last crack chapter very much. IT was quite degrading to several of us." Naruto also walked out from behind the curtain.

"Yeah! Why would I ask out her? I mean, come on! I like SAKURA!" The blond yelled.

"And you killed me. I thought you cared." Sasuke stood over in the corner, sulking.

"Oh, go be emo." Selene said, rolling her eyes.

"Do you have a death wish?" Kirari spoke from her side.

"Not really, I'm just a little aggravated that everyone is ganging up on me. I'm the one writing this for crying out loud!" Selene stood there for a moment, everyone else waiting for her to speak. She groaned, and put her face in her palms.

"I am such an idiot. That's it, I'm out of here." Selene walked off stage, pulling out a pen and notebook from seemingly nowhere as she went. Right before she was out of sight, she turned around, and glared at the group still on the stage.

"Be warned. I will have my revenge!" Selene held her pen up and pointed at them, still glaring. Naruto scratched his head.

"But I thought that you were all "Anti-revenge"! You always get all upset whenever someone mentions revenge during the anime/manga." Selene's eye twitched, and she glared even harder at Naruto.

"You're first." And with that, Selene walked away, disappearing into the darkness backstage.

Sasulke laughed. "Great job idiot. Now you've provoked an avenger. You're dead." Sasuke laughed again, but Naruto crossed his arms.

"At least she didn't call me emo." Sasuke scowled, and Naruto smirked, but quickly ran away to go find a four-leaf clover. Somewhere far away in a cave that even Batman would find creepy, Selene was plotting out her revenge, a very slow, painful, and humiliating revenge.