A/N: Dirty little spinoff from previous two-chapter 'Every Man's Fantasy' (go read it!). Feat. ByaRen.

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"I don't like cold tea. Bring me another cup."

Abarai seemed to consider before a strange smile lit up his features. He said, "Taichou, I could...uh, warm this up for you."

Byakuya's lashes lowered and he tilted his head slightly. That sounded promising. He put his hands on Abarai's knees and leaned in. "Then it had better be good and hot."

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Byakuya polished his sword. He tried to block the memory with the mind-numbing routine of caring for Senbonzakura. Not that it needed to be polished, but the sheath received quite a bit of daily wear-and-tear.

Sadly the displacement activity did not work.

Byakuya gritted his teeth. He would forget. He had to forget. Else he would never be able to glare into his lieutenant's eye and tell him off without thinking of those full lips, the slight pucker, the feel of Abarai's tongue pushing into his mouth, the clear taste of tea and something distinctly Abarai...

Byakuya bent to his task again.

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"Nii-sama."

"What is it?" Now that she was training with the Inoue girl Rukia was hardly about the mansion.

Rukia cleared her throat uncertainly. "Um, Ukitake-taichou said I should report to you every week just to update you on my progress."

"I see." He didn't turn his head to look at her. "And how is your progress?"

"I've achieved the third dance," she began. He nodded, still not looking at her. "And Inoue's defensive abilities are remarkable."

"I see."

"And, um... Renji said he wishes to apologize, but he's afraid you'll cut his head off the moment you see him."

Smart of him. "Why would I do that, pray?"

Rukia must have felt the upsurge in killing intent. Byakuya dampened his reaction and she finally stammered, "Because of what happened the other day, when we all fell under Urahara-san's pill's influence... and um, he told me he kind of... overstepped the bounds."

That's a nice way to phrase 'sticking his tongue down my throat'.

"He wants to apologize, he can do it to my face instead of sending a representative."

Rukia remained kneeling until her brother swept out of the room.

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When Abarai tiptoed into the office he was unusually meek. "Taichou."

"Abarai. I trust Rukia has passed on my message." Byakuya focused on his papers. Something stirred beneath his diaphragm when the lieutenant spoke, and he wondered what it was.

It is nothing to be concerned about. He is only a lieutenant; you've fired more lieutenants than any other captain. He is no different from those you've fired. Except his mouth tastes really good...

Get to work, Byakuya. Don't go there.

Abarai rubbed the tip of his nose. "Uh... taichou, about the other evening, I did what I had to to give you the antidote..."

"Ah yes, the tea." Byakuya stood and walked to the windows. He watched the vista of shinigami going about their business for a few minutes before returning his attention to his lieutenant. "You could've dissolved another one, couldn't you? Instead of force-feeding me?"

Force? I cannot believe I'm lying outright again.

"Force-fee...? Oh, um... I didn't have enough pills for all affected, so I couldn't get you another."

The lieutenant was blushing. Byakuya observed the flush of red up the man's neck and around the ears, the way he was rubbing his nose again, the very tempting lips parted with an embarrassed grin...

He shook his head. "Abarai, staying with Urahara is dangerous."

Don't I know it.

"Don't I know it," mumbled the redhead. Aloud he said, "He's promised to not dose me anymore."

Byakuya could feel warmth stealing around his loins. He glanced at the taller shinigami and his own lips parted. There was definitely a sizzle in the air. His lieutenant must be an idiot, because right now he knew the truth.

That madman must have dosed him again; I can feel myself... no. Don't even think about going there.

"I think he... lied." Byakuya's breath was becoming shallow; he felt lightheaded. Just as he did that day last week, before the highly embarrassing conclusion that same evening took place.

Highly arousing... no. Don't. Go. There. That way lies madness.

"Really? Why do you think- mmmph!"

This kiss was different from the pill-induced ones that evening. Those had been... sweet. Abarai had sipped the tea and 'fed' his taichou mouthful by mouthful, although by the third or fourth kiss there was less tea and more tongue. Lots more tongue. And hands. And legs. And skin...

I am going there. Reason, for madness.

Abarai's arms tried to find some form of support but could only grab onto his captain's shoulders. As his fingers clenched Abarai felt Byakuya shove him against the closed door.

Madness! This is insane!

He is delicious... madness! Kuchiki Byakuya, get a grip!

His ardor rising, Byakuya reached up behind the redhead and undid his hair. Crimson locks tumbled down, brushing the captain's hands. The dark-haired shinigami grabbed a fistful and pressed himself closer to his lieutenant's body.

This feels so... wild. I'm insane. I must be under some weird influence again.

I'm insane because I don't care.

Abarai, being taller, had to bend down to meet Byakuya's mouth. The captain found it inconvenient and dragged both of them, still in deep lip-lock, to the visitor's couch. Byakuya practically had to wrestle him down; Abarai was fighting him to be on top.

Oh no you don't.

Byakuya kissed the edges of Abarai's mouth. The lieutenant inhaled sharply, and Byakuya took advantage of the break in concentration to invade his mouth again. This time there was no tea, but the unique taste that was Abarai filled his senses. Byakuya was only vaguely cognizant that he had dropped his captain's coat and was fumbling with Abarai's belt.

Oddly enough the younger shinigami was now quite docile, moaning into Byakuya's mouth when the captain withdrew his tongue. Swiftly his own followed, and Byakuya savored the long-buried memory and sensation. How long has it been since he kissed like this? Or had been kissed like this?

Just last week, when he served me tea.

Best tea I ever had.

Byakuya realized his lieutenant was undoing his uniform. The feel of the large, calloused hands on his own smooth skin was unbearable. He followed Abarai's lead, wanting to caress the broad chest now pinned beneath him. His fingers traced over the torso, feeling little scars and nicks from various fights the lieutenant had been in since childhood.

So very different from his own.

From the last sentence Abarai spoke to their current wrestling on the couch, neither had come up for air. Both pulled away for an instant. Dark blue eyes glared heatedly into deep red irises, and they were at it again, Byakuya now allowing his lieutenant to take the lead.

Is he entirely insane too?

This feels right.

Abarai yanked the kenseiken out of Byakuya's hair, and ran his fingers through the black locks. He grabbed his captain's face to press him closer, guiding Byakuya's willing lips to his neck, his collarbone, his chest... Abarai hissed when Byakuya, reclaiming control, took hold of Abarai's left nipple in his lips and teeth. Half opening his eyes, he saw the redhead breathing erratically through his mouth as Byakuya ran his tongue over the hostage between his teeth. Feeling strangely mischievous, the dark-haired captain sucked and licked while sliding his free hand down the tattooed body.

He kept the younger shinigami preoccupied by alternately licking, sucking and nipping both nipples, all the while relieving him of his pants. When his hand brushed the lieutenant's erection, he heard Abarai suppress a cry. Feeling all too hot himself, Byakuya struggled out of his own hakama.

This is madness. We're in the office, it's day, anyone can come in and witness this... this travesty.

But I don't care. I'm giving in to insanity – this feels too good to stop.

"Taichou, wait- please.. aahh... taichou..." Renji uttered, groaning, the unfamiliar and fiery sensation of his manhood rubbing against another driving him nuts. "Fuck..."

Was it a plea or a curse?

Do I care?

"I won't hurt you," snarled Byakuya, already cupping and stroking his target. "I'm not going to hurt you."

Abandoning dignity, he knelt on the floor between Abarai's knees, closed his mouth about the head and licked the slit, earning a shudder and another groan from the lieutenant. He took the length in his mouth, his tongue and lips working the shaft. His hands held the redhead's hips down; he was going to enjoy the madness for as long as he could, before they both came to their senses.

Abarai grabbed a handful of black silk locks, trying to convey what his incoherent mind could not. Byakuya reached blindly around him. Pressing himself against Abarai's shaft Byakuya tried to bear with his own ache between his legs. He pulled away from the erection, laving kisses around the base and running his tongue along the entire length. His fingers played with the tight muscles of his buttocks, and soon found a spot to press between his entrance and the sac that made Abarai whimper with pleasure. Hard licks, soft licks, fast and hard, long and slow...The redhead started bucking his hips, his toes curling. Byakuya took him in his mouth again, as far down his throat as he could, before he felt the pungent, sticky ejaculate explode in his mouth.

Byakuya heard himself cursing softly after he swallowed. There was nothing around that would allow him to take the lieutenant the way he really wanted. It would hurt too much. Abarai must've come to the same conclusion because he grabbed the captain and kissed him, hard, and flooded Byakuya's mouth with the double flavors of Abarai Renji.

Before Byakuya could resist Abarai was on the floor, with him, and he was licking and kissing down the captain's torso and abdomen. His large hands pressed Byakuya down, groping and stroking with strong, roughened fingers.

"Abarai-"

"Shut up."

If I were... myself I'd kill... him.

But he's doing such... a good job... oh gods...

Byakuya's eyes rolled back in his head as his lieutenant's hand wrapped around his erection and his mouth enveloped the tip. With a insolent smirk at his captain's face Abarai took the length into his mouth, and pinned Byakuya's body down with his large arms. He hummed deep in his throat as he pumped, and increased the frequency when Byakuya writhed and tried to thrust upward.

Fast... learner... fuck.

His hands now reached for the crimson locks that spilled over his lower abs. Byakuya wanted to see his face, his eyes that burned with a red flame, but his vision was blurred and unfocused. The lieutenant was moving his mouth along the entire erection, his teeth scraping just enough to drive Byakuya wilder. The redhead also found the same spot that Byakuya found, and teased the captain as much as the captain could bear. Abarai proceeded to demonstrate how fast a learner he was, and Byakuya had to clamp down the shout that threatened to escape as he came, thrusting hard into Abarai's face.

As their passions wound down, they untangled themselves and grappled for their clothes. Both assiduously avoided eye contact; the captain bit down on his abrupt desire to skewer Abarai into the wall with Zabimaru and Senbonzakura.

Working his mouth to generate saliva, Byakuya said coldly, "I'm going to burn the furniture."

"Good idea. And maybe send someone to disinfect the room. Twice."

"I don't need your advice, lieutenant."

"Whatever, taichou," the redhead replied snidely. Abarai tried to detangle his crimson mop, gave up, and got up. "I'm getting a drink."

Byakuya pulled his hair back from his face. "Get me some tea."

They both halted. And looked at each other. Hungrily.

To hell with dignity.