Author's notes: the original version of the fic belongs to a Russian girl. I took the responsibility to translate it into English.
Your comments are welcomed.
The language of the story is quite dry especially in the beginning. The full text contains some 30,000 words so be patient and wait for next chapters.
Chapter One summary: Sakura's pink dreams have become true, she's married to Sasuke, but some thoughts bother her, the thoughts driving her crazy…
All her life she has been dreaming about this. All her life since the very early childhood she has been dreaming to be called this. Uchiha Sakura, wife of Uchiha Sasuke.
She has been dreaming about cooking breakfasts for him in the mornings, about kissing him, embracing him every night, giving birth to his children. She has been dreaming about their mutual life full of love and harmony.
In reality things were the other way round.
Several months ago the war was finally over. Orochimaru had somehow refused to move into Sasuke's body and signed the peace treaty with Konoha and other villages. Mutual efforts combined, the Akatsuki had been defeated and the younger Uchiha met up with his brother at last. To his surprise Itachi found him as a truly strong opponent. As a result during their fight he had overused Mangekyou Sharingan and thus completely lost his eyesight. With incredible efforts Sasuke had still managed to realize his dream and win through.
And then to everyone's astonishment Sasuke did an almost unbelievable thing: half-alive on his unsteady legs, coughing with blood he begged the Fifth Hokage to save his brother's life. Like a child he clung to Tsunade's hands and Sakura could swear that tears streamed down his cheeks. That was what had influenced the Fifth's decision: Sasuke's entreaty was satisfied.
Itachi got a permission to stay in Konoha as the younger Uchiha assumed the responsibility for his brother. They also forbade him to use any techniques, even the simplest, or to leave the house for long. The neglect of the rules as well as causing any kind of damage meant death.
All this certainly appeared to be a great surprise for the people in the village, such act however was treated as a whim of the brave Uchiha Sasuke, hero of Konoha, they gossiped about it and forgot soon after. Sasuke's name had been erased from the missing-nins' list and his enormous contribution to the victory over the Akatsuki was highly valued. Recently he has taken up residence in his former family mansion and it has been only a month since he proposed to Sakura. Her ever-so cherished dream was coming true in front of her eyes and no doubt she agreed with a 'yes'.
Things went differently from then on. For some time she had been desperately trying to force their life to coincide with that joyful picture she had painted in her mind, she had been adding colours, brightness and tints to her drawing. Oh, and Sakura had turned this picture into perfection but now it was becoming more and more painful for her to see it shattering with a thousand splinters.
Sasuke didn't love her.
The longer she lived with him the clearer she saw. He came back home (after the war Sasuke was appointed head of Konoha's Police Department), greeted her, sat at the table… but every time addressing her his voice remained cold. Gradually Sakura has pointed out that nothing had actually changed since their studying at the Academy. Or maybe it has. He has been getting farther from her, at the moment his disinterested eyes were sliding along her body she was feeling odd, as if being thrown away.
- Why did you marry me? – she innerly cried.
The answer was right there.
Night by night pressed down to bed by Sasuke she screwed up her eyes repeating that he did love her and there was the proof for his love. Like doomed she desperately convinced herself but there was less and less belief left in her own words.
He never pronounced her name making love to her.
The front door shut and Sakura shuddered distracting from her thoughts.
The teapot which she held in her hand was placed down on the table as she threw a fleeting glance on the clock. 10PM.
- Good evening Sasuke, - a vague smile for her husband who entered the kitchen
- Good evening Sakura, - dropped the younger Uchiha sitting down to the table and tiredly rumpling his hair
Her name flew resonant and meaningless off his lips. No warmth. No emotions.
- Kept late at work? – asked Sakura turning away to the kitchen table putting the dishes into the sink. Sasuke's face, she didn't want to see it now.
- Mm, - he mumbled in the affirmative getting down to his meals.
He often stayed until late at night in the office. To be honest almost always. Sakura has got used to see Sasuke return home when it was dark outside. Dark. Outside. She would sit in the brightly lit kitchen right before the yellow electric lamp and stare into pitch-black gloom in the street. She would sit and wait.
Sakura shook her head. She is going insane, slowly getting mad of those lonely nights in the Uchihas' mansion. Thoughts would twirl in her head in an endless monotone dance. Why?.. What for?.. What if?..
No. She must definitely go out. To get out of this big empty house, to have a walk, to think all over with a fresh head later on. To decide what should be done with her already down the drain life.
- Sasuke? – she cautiously called him turning around
- Look, there're now very few patients in the hospital, my help isn't that much needed. I haven't left Konoha for so long. Perhaps I should ask Tsunade for a mission? No missions no skills after all.
- What? - No. You stay here, - Sasuke's glance usually indifferent as he looked at Sakura was now decisive and categorical. – Enough missions. What if you die? What shall I do then?
- Um, fine, - being a little shocked by such a rough reaction Sakura couldn't find an answer. Or she simply didn't dare, so terrifying was the fire that sparkled in the Uchiha's black eyes.
- He loves me. That's why he cares about me, - Inner Sakura declared. Her gaiety was a bit too put on.
Sasuke finished up his dinner and stood up from the table. Sakura bent down her head so the tips of her hair hid her face as she started to collect the plates.
Later in the night feeling his seed inside her she felt that uncontrollable desire to burst out crying.