Disclaimer: I don't own ANYTHING that belongs to other people. *blinks innocently* Don't sue? Pleeeeeze? This is just a little something I whipped up some night. This is part 1. There were _supposed_ to be three parts, but I could only finish two. Besides, it's funny anyway..

Short, But Oh So Sweet.

"What?! You don't mean that! You can't possibly be serious!" Gabrielle frowned. Was she dreaming? Or more likely, having a nightmare. That voice sounded a lot like Ares'. A shocked Ares, to be exact. "I do, and I am." That was Xena's voice, definitely. Firm, but gentle. Oh… wait. Suddenly it dawned on Gabrielle. Xena must be telling Ares to leave them alone. Of course. Gabrielle sighed into the bedroll and a little smile formed on her lips. She and Xena had been talking about that for some time now. Ares, the big bad God of War would listen to whatever Xena said and most likely do it as well so Gabrielle had talked Xena into telling him in to leaving them alone. The bard was glad her friend was so wise and mature in matters like these. Why, the Warrior Princess could even get away with telling Zeus off, so his son shouldn't be a problem. Xena always took care of everything. She snuggled deeper into the bedroll, pulling her blanket tightly around her.

"I have never done this for anyone, Xena. You better appreciate this." Oh, oh. The big bad God of War didn't sound so cheery. What if he got angry? What if he was going to toast them? Worse yet, what if he toasted her? "Don't worry. I do." Xena seemed to have less control over her voice than usual, as it shook a little. But why? Was she actually sorry for making Ares go through with this? Did she regret letting him go?

"Fine. But remember, you asked for this." That was Ares again, definitely not happy about this. "I know. Now get moving." She frowned. She could swear that Xena was enjoying this. But moments ago… Her mind didn't even finish that thought as a home made proverb came to mind. 'Xena does what she does, because she does it.' That, however, in no way whatsoever, told you that you would like or even understand what she was doing. Several choice words followed Xena's answer before all Tartarus broke loose and the bard sat up straight, wondering where the heck that noise was coming from. The Queen of the Amazons' hands had already found her staff and she was standing in a battle pose before she even knew what was going on.

She blinked. Eyes wide, she took in the absurd scene in front of her. There, on the other side of the fire and on top of Ares, who was stomping around like there was no tomorrow, imitating what she guessed to be a horse, was Xena, snapping her whip and shouting like a little kid. "Piggyback ride! Yeehah! Go horsy!"