Disclaimer: I don't own the ninja turtles. which is probably a good thing though they are soooo much fun to write about; I doubt this sort of story was what they had in mind after they created these guys o.0

A Secret Magazine

By: Melissa the Damgel

"You really think this is okay?" He whispered to his brother – who had carried him from his room and into the main living area of the lair and was currently helping him settle inside of a blanket fort on a pile of previously assembled blankets and pillows.

"Yeah, sure, why not?" Raph asked as he crawled in beside Donnie and settled down next to him on his belly, pressing close due to the small enclosure they were in. They had confiscated Mikey's fort after he had gone to bed. It was the same fort he had made earlier that day when they were playing that pillow throwing game he had made up. Everyone was asleep, the lights were out and everything but a flashlight lying between them was the only thing reminding them that there was a world outside of their little blanket tent.

Donnie tilted his head slightly, "Don't you think he'll get mad?" He asked, twisting his face up nervously.

Raphael shrugged and then smirked at him, "Even if he does, he can't do nothin' about it."

"Anything." Donnie corrected.

Raphael rolled his eyes, "Whatever."

The two were quiet. They were supposed to be asleep too, but Raph had snuck into Donnie's room and insisted they stay awake till Splinter went to bed, and then he'd show him something.

Looking sideways at his brother, Donnie's fingers fidgeted and he blushed, "So…"

"Uh… yeah…" Raph paused and he looked away shyly then sheepishly pulled a magazine out from under some of the blankets he had previously hidden away before bed. "I… uh… found this a couple days ago. I um… Do you think we can do this someday?" He asked, shyly opening up the wrinkled and torn magazine with a picture of a lady on the front.

Donnie tilted his head and inched his hand over to take a corner of the magazine and looked it over; his bandaged foot swayed up in the air behind him, while his other foot laid next to Raph's, their toes twitching against each others as they moved closer together. "Why do you think humans do this?" He asked suddenly, looking over the pictures like they were a science project rather than seeing them for what they were and for what Raph was trying to imply.

Raph blushed and shrugged, "I don't know. You're the genius, Brainiac. What does all those days of readin' and watchin' that National Geographic stuff say?"

Humming softly under his breath, Donnie tapped his chin and then rested his cheek on his fist. "Well… it probably is some form of ritual before mating occurs. Why else would they do this? Even in the animal kingdom, everything revolves around sex." He explained.

"Sex?" Raph whispered, his brows curling together as he carefully analyzed that before he nodded, looking back to the pictures. He flipped through the pages, carefully studying each of them before he pointed to another, "Well, why do they do that?"

Donnie blushed and turned the page away from the picture of a woman on a chair with the man in front of her pushing her dress up with his other hand on her leg. He shrugged, "I don't know… Maybe it's a courting ritual? Or maybe they have to do that before they mate?"

"Oh." Raph grunted and looked back to the pictures. "Well, what about those? Every magazine I've looked at they have those in 'em." He pointed to a picture of several round looking things with a box next to them that covered a whole page that looked like an ad.

Looking to his brother, a quirky smile twitched at his lips and his dark eyes lit up in amusement. "You have more of these?"

Raphael turned deep green as he blushed and he mumbled under his breath as he fidgeted where he lay on his belly under the fort next to him. "Well… someone threw away a lot of these… but they were all different and… uh… I wanted to look at them." He admitted shyly with a bit of an annoyed tone to his embarrassment-twisted face.

"You hid them from Splinter, didn't you?" Donnie stated, finding this more and more amusing as they went.

He grumbled and nodded, "When we were scavenging, yeah. I came back for them later and hid 'em out by the water system."

"Wow." Donnie said and looked back to the magazine and then turned the page, looking at all the pictures of the women in it.

"Well, I had to hide them! Mikey would have found 'em and told Splinter!" Raph defended.

Donnie giggled, "Yeah, his eyes would have been all big." He smiled fondly at the idea of his baby brother looking shocked and yet self-satisfactory for finding something private of his brother's.

"He woulda' gotten a black eye is what he'd of gotten." Raph grumped.

Giggling again, Donnie sighed and leaned closer, laying his cheek on Raph's shoulder. "Yeah, I guess someday we can do that." He said, pointing to a fold-out picture of a lady and the man kneeling in front of her.

Raph nodded, losing his bluster almost immediately at having Don's head on his shoulder. "Um… can we do it now?"

Don laughed, "No, we're too little!" He grinned, lifting his head from his shoulder to look up at him. "Even animals have to wait till they are old enough! And we're mutants, so we'll probably have to wait till we are big like the humans; like when we're big enough to get married."

"Oh." Raph slumped and looked dejected. "But what about that show Master Splinter watches? Those people on the tv buy those things we saw-" he quickly flipped back through the pages to find the ad with those funny circle things on it and the box, "-all the time before they get married!" he looked to Don to explain that one.

Don blushed, "Well… um… maybe they have to have those first before they get married?" he tried to offer, not even sure if his guess was right.

"Oh." Raph looked back to the page, really studying it before he nodded, seeming satisfied for the time being.

"So… do you like anything in here?" Raphael asked shyly, peeking over at his brother.

Donnie's face warmed up once again and he nodded shyly, fidgeting with a corner of one of the pages.

"Yeah?" He perked up and turned slightly, looking fully at Don's face. "What is it?"

Shy, Donnie tapped his finger against the page they were on showing a man this time – the woman was on the other page.

Raph studied the picture for a second, his face twisting up in confusion. "What… you like his black pants?"

Shaking his head quickly, Donnie peeked up at Raph timidly then motioned upwards, pointing to the man's neck.

Looking back to the picture, Raph wrinkled his nose as he tried to figure it out then a smile broke out, "You like his collar-thingy?"

Another blush rushed across Don's face and down his neck and over his ear slits as he nodded. "Yeah…"

"I could get one of those." Raph nodded, looking rather smug. That collar wasn't too bad…

"What about you?" Don asked warily, peeking up at him again.

"Um…" It was Raphael's turn to squirm nervously. He fidgeted with the pages before bucking up his courage and he took the magazine and turned it easily to a page that had obviously been looked at a lot. "That." He pointed directly at the picture.

Donnie looked at it then flushed, "Why that?"

Raph shrugged sheepishly, "I dun' know… I think you'd look pretty."

Realization dawned on Donnie as he looked back to the picture, "You want me to wear that?" he shrieked in horror.

"Shh! No! Not all of it…." Raph trailed off.

"Well then what parts? I really don't think any of it will be comfortable!" his voice was a bit squeakier and rising an octave as he stared at the picture.

Raph grumped and looked annoyed now, "Just those!" He snapped and pointed to something wrapped about the ladies thigh and then the thing on her head.

Donatello went quiet as he studied the items, taking a long time to consider Raph's request before he finally shrugged and bobbed his head meekly in consent.

A smile crawled up Raph's face and he looked back to the picture, again looking smug that he would get his way with this.

"That thing on her head though looks itchy." Don suddenly said, wrinkling his nose at it.

"What? Why!" Raph shouted – that was the best part of that picture! Donnie had to wear that!

Donnie pointed to the picture, "Well… the flowers don't look comfortable; and I don't have hair so I think it'd be itchy." He looked back to Raph questioningly.

"Well, we can put that white thing under it, how about that?" Raph offered, turning the pages back to point to the 'white thing' he was talking about.

Don shook his head and wrinkled his nose, "No, I don't want to wear that. Maybe I'll just fix it so it won't be itchy." He decided.

Sighing in relief, Raph nodded in agreement then shyly flipped through the pages – the two of them occasionally commenting about the pictures.

Raphael silently was keeping a checklist of stuff he was going to have to get before they got married when they got bigger. Those round things, a black collar, that leg strap, chocolate, and that flower thing for Donnie to wear.

"Hey, Raph?"


Donnie closed the magazine and looked over the cover, "Can we look at the other wedding magazines tomorrow night?" Donnie asked, looking up at Raph shyly but with a hopeful light in his eyes.

Raph nodded and blushed, "Okay." He promised.

That sweet, warm smile of Donnie's instantly was on his face, and Raph couldn't help it, he leaned over and kissed him. Whatever this wedding thing was, he sorta liked it.

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Okay, I work at Barnes&Noble. I need ya'll to understand that first. and secondly, I now honest to goodness hate the women who are getting married. They come in and look at ALL the wedding magazines and IF they buy them, they buy every single one on the shelf. (i hate those ladies only because 9 out of 10 don't buy the magazines and books, they just look at them and then leave them on the tables for us to clean up). anyway. I got to thinking. "What happens to all those magazines after they buy them?" and my answer was 'throw them away.' and of course, while working on this story, I immediatly thought of little Turtle-Kids stumbling upon these magazines and wondering what the hell they were. hee, and that is how this story was born.

I love this particular one-shot because, one: they have no idea what any of it is (sure, they know about getting married and stuff, but I figured they haven't seen many weddings on tv - and if they have, it hasn't made that brain connection that they are basically the same thing.) and two: because it just sounded so dirty to have Raphie showing him this magazine and asking if Donnie wanted to do that XD

okay, so those Round-Thingys Raph was pointing out to Don, those are Wedding Rings. Raph wants Donnie to eventually wear a garter and some thing on his head with flowers; and Don wants Raph to wear a bow tie in the future. (just to clear that up)

I hope you all enjoyed this one, I had so much fun writing it XD I think I wrote it in half an hour because it was making me grin and giggle so much. and I love reviews! really! I end up writing more when I can feed off the reviews! but thanks for reading!