I do not own Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse. They and their respective characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer and her creative mind.
I, however, am borrowing the characters and the events transpired to write this fictional tale.
Beginning of Eternity
Edward's POV of the change
Why? Why did I do this to her? How could I really have done this to her?! I was in such erotic spirits that evening, she...she had poisoned me. I couldn't say no to her request, no...demand. She demanded me to bite her, and I was so overcome, so intoxicated...I gave in.
Oh God... please, if you are there, take her with you. Take her away from me and let me die a damned being in a damned eternity of Hell. Anywhere I cannot have her is a cursed pit for me. I deserve thus and more than Hell for doing such to her!
Her screams, oh, the screams...they haunt me. I cannot block them out; I deserve hearing them. I absorb every change of pitch that escapes her throat. I cringe and bear it. She thrashes wildly, sometimes contorting her body so horribly, she cries out louder. She shudders and begs me to put an end to this torture. I cannot. I cannot end what I began.
I can't do anything to help her! I am here, worthlessly sitting around, moping because I cannot bear her cries; while, all this time, she is selflessly sacrificing herself to spend an eternity with me. How can I be so selfish when she is so humble? How do you act when given such a gift as a life-partner? I am such a selfish yet blessed monster…
I didn't want to pretend. I didn't want to pity myself for what I felt hearing her in such pain. I couldn't sit there and feel so bad when she needed me to be strong. My family tried to get me to leave, they wanted me to hunt. It would be wise to have done, but I can't. I can't leave her, ever.
Bella, I will make this up to you for all eternity.
When I heard her thoughts, everything left me. I heard her thoughts about everyone she knew. She had many memories of Jacob Black. These memories were confusing. They were so close, like siblings, or twins. He had helped her out of her cloudy depression when I hadn't. Her memories when she first came to Forks and when she first met me were most amusing. I saw how badly I had hurt her when I left. I had caused so much pain and realized that she had decided that this was the only way she could ensure we would be together, forever.
Eternity, what does it mean?