Hello one and all. Before going any further I would ask that you think carefully before reading this story. It's drivel, pure an simple. Inspired mostly by my hormones and my real love life drama. I tried to keep the melodramatics down but I'm not sure if I succeeded. OK, well, to be honest, I wouldn't post this if it was complete crap, but it's pretty darn close. I just had an itch that needed to be scratched, a little romantic fluff that was dying to come out, and this was the result. You've been warned, read at your own risk. :)
Oh, and I do not own the labyrinth, no matter how many times I ask nicely. And I don't own the lyrics to this song, although it really is one of MY favorite Christmas tunes. I love the Mariah Cary version. :)
The bright string of multicolored lights dazzled her eyes as she made sure the candy cane ornament was secure on its branch. Once satisfied that only a gale force wind blowing through her apartment could knock it off she stood back slightly to check its position on her tree. Its placement was just right, filling in the tiny gap towards the bottom and she stepped back even further to take in the whole picture. She stood proud of her perfectly decorated tree, her first one since going out on her own in the world as an adult.
As she picked up the empty box of decorations, the last few strains of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer ended and a new song began to play quietly on the radio. It was one of her favorites, an upbeat love song that she couldn't help but sing along with.
I don't want a lot for Christmas
There's just one thing I need
I don't care about presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true...
All I want for Christmas
Her hips swayed to the song's gentle beginning rhythm before she broke out into an all out dance routine as the tempo picked up. She discarded the empty box on her small dining room table, picking up a banana as she went to serve as her microphone. Her hair bounced around her shoulders free from any binding ties and her feet were able to slip and slide across the linoleum floor in her warm wooly socks.
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you...
She sang the song with her whole heart, the words taking on new meaning with every breath. With out her conscious effort, an image formed in her head, the clear picture of a man. Tall and thin, but with a sense of power that he wore as easily as a cloak, wild platinum hair, light blue mismatched eyes, high cheek bones, and an ever present smirk that begged for a hundred kisses. Her cheeks took on a rosy hue as she realized who she sang for, but she didn't stop.
All alone, with the music blaring and no one to answer to but herself she could finally and freely admit what she would never dare utter out loud; the Goblin King may have been defeated by her, but he had earned a different kind of victory by stealing her heart.
I won't ask for much this Christmas
I won't even wish for snow
I'm just gonna keep on waiting
Underneath the mistletoe
She glanced up to see herself twirling underneath the small patch of vegetation she had hung in the doorway between the kitchen and living room. She smiled brightly imagining Jareth with her leaning in for a kiss.
The small Christmas figurines and decorations looked on with benevolent smiles as she continued her show, banana twirling and her bottom shaking. She imagined she could see him in the reflections of the window, the snowy curtains outside obscuring him slightly, but the bleary outline there. Her heart and song calling out to him but he was unable to answer, those long ago words keeping him from her side for all these years.
'Cause I just want you here tonight
Holding on to me so tight
What more can I do
Baby all I want for Christmas is you…
How long had she secretly wished for him? How long had she kept the truth to herself that along with her brother he had laid claim to her heart? The sad fact was, no other man had made her feel the same, none had made her heart race, never had she been trapped breathless hoping for just an inch less of space to separate their lips, and in all her years she had never felt more warm, safe, and loved than she had in his arms during that dance.
And yet he had let her go, those words ending any chance of them being together. His defeat had been absolute and her loneliness had been devastating.
But how had it happened? How could she be so entangled with someone she knew for less than a day? How had her feelings of anger and distrust melted away to love and longing?
The how and why mattered naught, her heart whispered to her and she knew that to be true. However it happened, whenever or why didn't mattered. The only thing that mattered was that he was gone and never coming back.
All the years of patiently waiting were at an end. If he had felt the same, surely he would have come by now.
All the lights are shining
So brightly everywhere
And the sound of children's
Laughter fills the air
And everyone is singing
I hear those sleigh bells ringing
Santa won't you bring me the one I really need
Won't you please bring my baby to me
The words began to take on new meaning, not just a fun song with a catchy tune, but a real plea, a desperate call for the one she wanted more than anything. Was he watching even now? Did he hear her words and see the real pain on her face?
The banana was abandoned and the dance steps forgotten as the silly game took on a sad undertone. A small sniff seemed to sound unnaturally loud in the music filled room. The cheery song seemed to fade away as she felt the grief pulling at her, morbidly glad to finally be acknowledged after all these years of being ignored. She slumped onto her worn, hand-me-down couch, not even caring as the storm seemed to intensify outside. The snow flakes no longer fell in a leisurely manner, instead they swirled in the angry wind that howled with a vengeance.
The weather reflected the chaotic tangle of emotions whirling around inside of her. She wanted to fight the feelings she had for him, deny their very existence, but the painful clenching of her heart would not allow that. A single hot tear rolled down her cheek as she clutched her knees to her chest. Why must she acknowledge these feelings now? Why do it at the point when her heart was sore and lost and now that she knew that the time for hope was past? Couldn't it all have remained buried, along with those memories and the thoughts of what ifs?
What if she had accepted his offer? What if she hadn't been quite so forceful when she demanded her brother back? What if she hadn't let her mouth utter those hated words? What if she had held on tighter during the dance, allowing him to move in closer, her eyelids to flutter down, and her lips to part?
What if it had all been a lie, a diversion meant to distract her and keep her from the ultimate goal of rescuing her brother? What if it had all been true and the pain on his face had been real and had heralded the end of everything that could ever have been between the two?
No matter the what ifs and no matter how hard she tried to deny the feelings, the truth of the matter was there and baring its ugly head at her; Jareth was gone and was never coming back.
Oh I don't want a lot for Christmas
This is all I'm asking for
I just want to see baby
Standing right outside my door
Oh I just want him for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
Baby all I want for Christmas is
The words were sung quietly now, tears and more sniffling all that awaited her at the end. So wrapped up in her newfound heartache she didn't even care when the lights went out and the radio was silenced with an eerie finality. The storm had knocked the power out, but Sarah couldn't care less as the darkness and despair filling her heart and mind was much worse.
Head buried between her knees she felt safe in her solitude and darkness to let the quiet sobs come. No one could hear so what should she care that her crying was silly, her heart break senseless? She had no one to answer to but herself and the memory of the only man to hold her heart. "I'm sorry Jareth." Whispered between the ragged breaths, in a hollow voice no one would ever recognize as coming out of Sarah Williams, the words seemed to echo in the silent room.
It took a long time, hours, days, weeks, or maybe just a few minutes that seemed to stretch on for eternity, but finally the tears were spent. A blanket was picked up from the back of the couch, knitted by her grandmother and comfortably warm in the chill that permeated the air around her. Wrapped up in its soft embrace she allowed herself the brief moment of fantasy where she could imagine it was his arms that wrapped around her, his warmth that kept away the chill of the night. But it was a lie conjured up by her grieving heart and the truth of the lie left her with a bitter taste and a fresh crop of tears.
She let the words of the song fill her mind, sending the plea out once more to the uncaring heavens that had denied her this long. All I want for Christmas is you… As the whisper had before it, these words too hung in the air, echoing around her and causing her to shiver. The words, once released from her mouth, contained an almost mocking tone to them, as if someone spoke them back to her and named her a fool for believing they would serve any purpose.
Grow up Sarah, they seemed to say. You had your chance and you squandered it. By what right do you ask for a second chance?
The voice was correct, she didn't deserve another chance and she knew one would not be granted to her. But still, the heart is the irrational side of us, the one that dreams and wishes, holding out on that one small sliver of hope. Her heart held onto that hope now, even when she begged it to let go so she might heal.
Her energy was spent and her body forced her to lie down. The lids of her eyes seemed to weigh a ton and she allowed them to fall down. Maybe in her dreams she would find him and she could tell him all the things she couldn't, out of foolish pride, tell him before. Maybe in her dreams he would forgive her and tell her the words again and give her that second chance she knew would never come outside of dreams. Maybe, if she was lucky, her dreams would never end and she wouldn't have to face the reality that those dreams would never come true.
All I want for Christmas is you. Such a simple song that was created by a mortal for the enjoyment of other mortals, filled with longing and promise, ending with hope and love. But one time it was sung by a mortal for a fae, a fae that heard the words and understood the silent message hidden within. He sat with the crystal in his hand, motionless and stone faced, expressionless unless one was very, very close. Then they might, if they knew where to look and looked very closely, have seen the reflected longing in his eyes, or seen the suppressed pain forcefully pushed away. All I've ever wanted is you. The hand holding the crystal clenched tightly, shattering the delicate piece and erasing the picture of the one he could never have.
Gah, see what happens? I try to make a nice little piece of romantic fluff and what do I get? Angst, angst, and more angst. Thanks a lot you stupid muses. I haven't had a happy ending since I wrote the end of TC. Le sigh. I'll love you forever if you review, just please don't be too cruel. Oh, and before anyone asks, this is a ONESHOT. I never want to see it again, and I hope that my hormones and muses never make me write something like it again.