Author's Note: Lookee here. I'm not offering explanations. I know the last chapter took...forever. The ending isn't as good as it could have been. I changed it...MANY times, and eventually just settled on one. But go ahead - flame me for all I care. Just please tell me what you think, alright?
Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or any of its parents, affiliates, or characters.
Warnings: If you don't like two guys lovin' each other, get out. Also, there may be some mild language.
This is all my fault. Why did I have to do that? My stupid hormones got the better of me, I guess. This isn't entirely my doing, though. I'm not the one who decided to move Roxas away. He did that all on his own. He made Sora cry. Twice. Yes, I did see him cry even though Roxas didn't. None of this would have ever happened if those two weren't so stupid. They can't just fall in love and get together like a normal couple, can they? Everything has to be filled with so much drama. I don't think our group can take much more. Nobody is talking to Roxas, and he is not even sure what he did. Sora is ready to have an emotional breakdown because of Roxas leaving and kissing me, and Namine is so pissed off at him, first of all, because he's leaving, and second, because of what he's doing to Sora. But he isn't even doing anything. Its all just a dangerously huge misunderstanding. The only time I see everyone now is during lunch, and we're all sitting at separate tables. Well, except for Tidus and Selphie who are sitting with me. They have no idea what's going on, but I don't care. I decided that if I'm gonna be able to work this out, I need to talk to Namine first, because she is very good at straightening these things out. I sit down next to her at the otherwise empty table.
"Namine." She completely ignores me. "Namine, please just let me explain." She turns towards me.
"You don't have to explain, Kairi. Roxas is an ass, and that's not your fault."
"But he's not! This is my fault."
"How could this possibly be your fault?"
"Because Roxas didn't kiss me on purpose."
"How do you kiss someone if it wasn't on purpose?"
"Well, after you and Sora ran off, me and Roxas were talking, and I might have let it slip that I liked him. Then I started making him feel bad, on accident of course, because he doesn't feel the same way and both of us knew that. He felt so bad, in fact, that he was going to give me a small kiss on the cheek."
"That was no cheek kiss, Kairi. I think you're confused."
"Let me finish." She continues intently listening. "When he was leaning in, I turned my head at the last second, and he accidentally kissed me on the lips. It was a complete accident. But my hormones got carried away and...That's when you and Sora appeared." She gives me a questioning look.
"Kairi, is that really what happened? No joke?"
"None whatsoever. Roxas was just being nice and I took advantage of the situation." She looks terribly guilty now.
"Kairi, I was terrible to Roxas. I didn't say much, but that's not how I wanted to say good-bye to him."
"I don't want any of us to have to say good-bye to him at all."
"I know, me neither. But he's leaving soon."
"But you haven't talked to him since yesterday, how do you know?"
"I overheard him this morning telling Hank that he was ready to go and didn't want to wait any longer. Hank said that they were leaving early Friday morning."
"What are we gonna do?"
"We just have to make Sora do something by then. Yes, Roxas is our friend, but Sora's the only one who can make him stay."
"But Sora's not exactly in the correct state to do that right now."
"I know. That's where we come in."
"What can we do?"
"Maybe we need some help..."
I am so confused. I have no idea why Namine and Sora are so mad at me. I didn't do anything. Well...I kissed Kairi, but that was a complete accident. And even if it wasn't, why would either of them care? Unless...Sora likes Kairi? He did tell me he liked someone...but he never said who. Could it have been? But Sora's gay, right? I mean, he dated Riku...Now I'm confusing myself even more. If he does like Kairi, I would now feel horribly. But since I don't know what he feels...I don't know how to feel...so I'm just...confused. Maybe I should ask him about it. Maybe its a good thing his locker is next to mine. He got out of lunch way faster than I did. Is it because I'm distracted? Quite possibly. By the time I see him, he's already at his locker, so I have to race to catch up with him.
"Sora!" He doesn't respond. Maybe he didn't hear me...? I stop at his locker to try again to get his attention. "Hey." He turns, but not to talk to me. Only to continue to walk right past me, not even looking at me, not acknowledging me at all. "Sora...?" Nothing. I feel my heart sink. So much for staying friends with him...
"Ass." A voice from behind. Could be anyone, though. I heard that word a few times yesterday.
"Excuse me?" I quickly turn around, maybe a little too fast, because I slip on my pants and land on the floor...on my ass.
"I can't believe you did that." I look up for the first time to see Riku standing above me.
"Well, I guess I'm just not very coordin--"
"Not that. I can't believe you kissed Kairi. "
"Oh, that." I slowly rise to an inevitable lecture.
"That's all you have to say? Namine told me about it this morning, and how hurt Sora was. You ass. I can't believe you. I even helped you. And you go and do something like that? You must know how Sora feels by now!" How...Sora feels? So I was right after all...
"Sora likes Kairi, doesn't he?" Riku's face shows utter confusion. But then, I can't tell whether he's angry, or if he's going to laugh.
"You really are as clueless as Namine says. You're not an ass...you're just stupid."
"Group meeting. Now." Maybe not the best way to greet my friends on a Wednesday right before lunch. All I get is blank faces from all of them. All who are present at least- Wakka, Tidus, Riku, Selphie, and Kairi.
"Um...okay?" An expected reaction from Tidus. I file everyone into an empty classroom, seating them into desks, and placing myself seated on the teacher's desk in front of them, crossing my legs and looking at each of them individually. "Do you want us to call you Namine sensei?"
"Please, no, Tidus. That would be weird."
"Why are we here, anyway?"
"Glad you asked, Selphie. We are here to discuss Sora and Roxas."
"Then why aren't Sora and Roxas here?"
"Very good question. Kairi, care to take that one?"
"Why thank you Namine." She stands up from her seat and takes a spot standing next to me, looking very sensei-like herself. "Okay, so as you all know, Sora and Roxas are idiots." Everyone nods. "You also know that they are in love with each other." A semi-depressed nod from Riku, 'Wtf?' faces from Tidus and Wakka, and a squeal from Selphie. "Okay, well you all know that now." I nudge her in the side. "Right, moving along. Well, since they are such idiots, they do not realize that the other is in love with them. Even though we told Sora, he doesn't believe us. That's partially my fault though, because he caught me--." I nudge her again.
"What is it, Namine?"
"They don't know that either..."
"Oh...right. Well now that you guys are up to speed on almost everything, we can start to talk about what exactly we are going to do about this. Namine and I have a few ideas already, but we were wondering if you guys had any input?"
"Okay...wait, what?" I think Tidus has a short attention span. "They love each other? Since when?"
"You guys weren't paying attention, were you?" I hop off the desk and take Kairi's place.
"I don't think its that they weren't listening, but that's a lot of vague information to take in. I just didn't think of it that way because I already knew everything."
"Oh. Well how about you explain it to them, then?"
"Wise decision." Kairi takes a seat behind the teacher's desk as I prepare my speech. "Ok. So I think it was pretty obvious to all of you that Roxas kind of had a thing for Sora. What you might not have known was that Roxas was actually pretty deeply in love with him. But Sora was..." I stop talking immediately. Tidus looks at me questioningly.
"Sora was...what?" I look at Riku who is sulking in his seat. I stopped because I was about to say that Sora was going out with Riku at the time...but then I couldn't say it because Riku was sitting right there. He looks up at me and sighs,
"It's okay, Namine. Go ahead. I'm sure everyone would like to hear what you have to say." I'm glad he's understanding, but I know he's hurting inside. I nod and smile at him.
"Well Sora was going out with Riku at the time, and Roxas was definitely feeling down. He figured Sora didn't even care about him at all. Of course that wasn't true, because they're friends, but Roxas thought that's all they would ever be. Sora thought that, too, and hadn't even considered anything else...at first. Then last week, Sora came to me and told me about a dream he had. In that dream, Roxas had kissed Sora." Selphie's interest is suddenly peaked even higher than before, and her eyes brighten. "I later, quite recently actually, found out that it wasn't a dream, and that Roxas had kissed Sora in his sleep." Selphie's jaw drops and her eyes widen. Tidus smiles at her adoringly. I think Wakka might be asleep. "But at first I didn't know this, and I was convinced that Sora had had that dream because he secretly liked Roxas." I hesitate before speaking the next part of the story. "R-Riku heard a small part of our conversation, and began to think the same thing. Then, after swimming, Sora borrowed Roxas' sweatshirt, something both Riku and I noticed. We had very different reactions to this, though- mine, quite happy, Riku's...not. Riku confronted Sora about it, and things...didn't go well. That's all I'll say about that." I look at Selphie, who gives me a subtle nod, signaling that she knows not to ask questions. She signals to Tidus, informing him of the same thing. Its great when people can communicate with their eyes, isn't it? "But anyway, I was then on a mission to first of all, get Sora to realize his feelings, and second, to get him and Roxas together...somehow." Selphie interjects.
"Since you brought us here, I can only assume that its not going well?"
"The understatement of the century."
"What's gone wrong?"
"Kairi happened." Upon hearing her name, she jumps out of her chair and gets right in my face.
"Hey! This wasn't all my fault! You didn't tell them what happened right before what I did!"
"I was getting to that!" She crosses her arms and leans against the desk. I clear my throat. "Well... during lunch on Monday, we were eating outside, but Roxas wasn't there...he hadn't been all morning. Then he showed up...in a limo."
"You mean that's what everyone was crowding around!?" Wakka is suddenly paying attention.
"Yeah. And why was he in a limo, you may ask? Because some guy named Hank saw him perform at that stupid contest on Friday and he offered him a record deal."
"No, Selphie. It's not great." She gives me a very puzzled look. "Roxas is moving because of it. And Sora's the one who practically told him to go."
"So Sora doesn't like Roxas like you thought?"
"Nope. He doesn't like him. He told me on Saturday that he loves him."
"Yeah. He told me so on Sunday." All eyes turn in Riku's direction. He'd been quiet for a while. If Riku admitted it, they'd know it was true. I think that's the only reason he said anything.
"Double wow." Tidus and Selphie are actually quite cute together.
"I'm not done though." Their looks of shock quickly reside and they are listening intently once again. "After Roxas and Sora had spoken briefly about the matter of Roxas moving, Sora excused himself from the group. I followed him and he was holding back tears. He really didn't want Roxas to leave." Selphie has something to say again.
"What did you tell him?"
"I didn't really tell him anything...I just gave him a much needed hug, grabbed his hand, and pulled him back towards Roxas. Something I wish I wouldn't have done."
"Kairi...you care to take this?" She looks embarrassed. She moves close to me and whispers in my ear.
"No. They're all gonna hate me. After hearing what they have, what I did is going to seem...horrible."
"Kairi, it kinda was."
"I know. But I didn't intend for..."
"Um, excuse me? You care to share with the rest of the class?" Kairi and I, in sync, turn our heads towards Tidus, who in return smiles. But I suppose he's right. I hate it when people whisper in front of me, too.
"Sorry, Tidus. Kairi, I'll take care of it." She smiles at me and takes her seat. "While Sora and I were away, Kairi and Roxas had a talk. Kairi let it slip to Roxas that she liked him--"
"Kairi likes Roxas?!"
"Shut up Tidus. Roxas felt bad because they haven't been getting along well. And Roxas was going to give Kairi just a kiss on the cheek, but Kairi had turned her head at the last minute, leaving Roxas planting that simple kiss on her lips." Three of the jaws in front of me drop. "Then, as chance would have it, Sora and I appeared in time to see them in that position."
"No!" Selphie, of course, is the first to make an interjection.
"Yeah. Sora ran off in tears. He was then convinced that Roxas didn't care about him that way. I tried to tell him otherwise, but he insisted I was lying. He said it was a good thing that Roxas was leaving because at least then he wouldn't have to deal with the pain. And here we are. And to my knowledge, no one has talked to Roxas since."
"Oh my gosh."
"So you see our problem, Selphie. That's why we called all of you here. We need to fix this before Roxas leaves. And if possible, stop Roxas from going. Although, I know Sora is the only one who can make him stay considering he had the power to practically make him go." I get more blank faces. "...Questions? Comments? Ideas...?"
"So...that song that Roxas wrote...it was about Sora?"
"Namine, I think we need to start working on getting them together pretty soon. Roxas is leaving Friday morning, right?"
"Well, we're trying to prevent him from moving, Kairi..."
"I know, I'm just saying we have no time to waste."
"Then we'll start tomorrow."
"Why not today?"
"Well, if we're gonna do this, we're gonna do it right. And that...requires planning."
"I'm hoping you have something up your sleeve, Namine."
"Well, Kairi, its all about keeping it simple. Not making it obvious that we're up to something. Everything has to be small. We have to let Sora and Roxas work this out on their own. We're merely...giving them the slight pushes they need."
"And really, they could eventually do everything on their own, and we're only stepping in because we have to hurry?"
"Kairi, you're really darkening the mood. You're making us seem unnecessary! This is important to me. I want to be a part of this. I've given them way too much help to back out now." Kairi smiles and extends her hand for me to shake.
"Considering this is all partly my fault, I guess I have no choice but to help you. Not that I wouldn't anyway." I shake her hand and we both nod. The alliance is set. But then Tidus has one last interjection.
"So...this meeting was pointless and we were completely unnecessary?"
What do you know? Nobody has talked to me today. Should I be surprised…I don't think so. Other than Riku yelling at me yesterday, no one has said a word to me since Monday. But now that I think I know why….Maybe I can fix it…just maybe. I only hope that Sora can forgive me.
"Hey." I lift my head from the desk to welcome the mysterious female voice. Kairi.
"Well don't sound so excited to see me…."
"Sorry. I guess I was just hoping maybe people were actually talking to me now." She takes the seat next to me and makes herself comfortable.
"Don't worry, they will be."
"How do you know?"
"Well, first of all, Roxas…you can't exactly expect your best friends to all ditch you completely because of one little incident." I look to the desk again.
"I guess you've got a point."
"And also, I kinda explained everything to Namine." And back up with the head.
"Yeah. She completely forgives you. And she feels really bad about making you feel bad."
"Oh. Well I'm glad she forgives me, but now I feel bad for making her feel bad…"
"Roxas…you have nothing to feel bad about. Nothing at all. You and I both know that what happened was my fault." That little light bulb in my head goes off.
"That's right! I should be mad at you! Everyone got mad at me for something you did!"
"I know! Geez, I feel horrible enough as it is…." I glare at her. "It's being fixed!" I sigh and slink down in my seat. "By the end of today, no one will be mad at you at all…At least not for that."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, once everyone is filled in on this fact…they will be even madder at you for moving." She pauses, suddenly being more aware of this fact herself. "And so soon…."
"3:00 A.M. Insane, right? I have to leave at midnight just to get to the airport on time."
"You must really want to get out of this place, huh?"
"It's not that... I just don't think I can do this anymore, and it's probably the only opportunity I'm going to get."
"Oh, Roxas. This is so not the only opportunity you're going to get. You are an incredible singer…you'll get another chance."
"No, not maybe. You will. And what do you mean, you 'can't do this anymore?' Do what?" She is being so kind, I can't help but to open up to her.
"Sora…. I don't know if I can handle it. I know I've said before that I would rather be just friends with him than nothing at all. But I don't know if I could take being like that forever. I just don't think it would be enough. So I thought it would be easier if I just left."
"Roxas...I don't even know how I'm supposed to respond to that. But I can't really do anything to help you there. Well...I can...but I can't."
"I don't understand."
"I wouldn't expect you to."
Please let nothing happen today. Can't I just have one normal day where nothing goes wrong? Please, please, let this be a good day.
"Hey, you!" I turn and- smack! I take a notebook to the head.
"What the heck was that for, Namine?!" The blond one places herself in the seat next to mine and grits her teeth. I haven't talked to her since Monday, so I wasn't expecting this. I was able to avoid her during English and Geography because of the assigned seats, but it looks like now she will be impossible to ignore. "I'm guessing you want something if you're here?" She's rapidly rapping her fingers on the desk, tapping her feet. Practically twitching in her seat. "Well...?"
"You don't know what really happened! And I can't tell you! But I have to or I'm going to explode!"
"What in the world are you talking about?"
"About what happened on Monday, stupid! You have the completely wrong idea about the situation!" You know what? I shouldn't even be talking to her after what happened on Monday.
"I know perfectly well what was going on, Namine. I saw it very clearly."
"But that's the thing, you didn't! You just came in at a really bad time, that's all."
"I'm sorry, I'm confused...would you care to enlighten me?"
"What happened was a complete accident."
"Yeah, of course. The part where we showed up wasn't supposed to happen, right?"
"No, Sora! Roxas didn't kiss Kairi on purpose!"
"You can't kiss someone accidentally, Namine!"
"That's what I said at first but, I know now what really happened! Kairi explained everything to me. It was just an accident...really."
"How do you know she was telling the truth?"
"Because, Sora! She even admitted that it was her fault! She wouldn't do that for no reason. She feels horrible...but I'm sure it's nothing compared to what Roxas is feeling..."
"What does he care?"
"Okay, Sora. You can shut up about that now." Now Namine is giving me attitude?
"I'm going to say this as slowly and simply as possible so you can understand me: Roxas...love...Sora."
"So you say."
"So everyone says! Ugh! Sora, how can you possibly still deny it?!"
"I just...I don't know Namine. I don't know what to believe..."
"How is this hard for you? Even if Riku hadn't said anything, you still should have been able to tell on your own, you idiot."
"You have got to be kidding me. Sora, he wrote a song for you. He kissed you for crying out loud! Could it be any more obvious! What more proof do you want?" Both of us stay silent for a moment.
"Namine, I want to hear it from Roxas. Not from you, not from Riku. From Roxas."
"Sora..." She doesn't seem to know what to say. "I hate to be the one to completely crush you with the truth, but... Roxas will never..." She's not even able to finish a sentence. "Roxas won't ever be able to do that. He just can't. He doesn't know how."
"What do you mean?"
"You're the only person he's ever loved, Sora. And he just doesn't know how to express it. So either we find a way to break Roxas out of this shell he's hiding in, or you have to be the one to make everything happen. And you better do it fast...Roxas is leaving so soon..."
"How soon?" She takes a deep sigh.
"Tonight?! Why didn't anyone tell me?"
"Sora, you haven't really been talking to anyone."
"I know but...you'd think someone would have the decency to tell me something that big." I slink down in my seat. "Namine...what am I going to do? I can't do anything during school..."
"I'll tell you what Sora. I will do whatever I can to make sure that you get a chance to talk to Roxas. But you have to take it from there."
"Okay. But I have no idea what I'm going to do."
Second to arrive today. I immediately take my seat next to Namine. She smiles, apparently happy to see me. It's as if nothing happened.
"Roxas! I feel like I haven't talked to you in a while."
"You haven't." She starts to let out a laugh, but quickly retreats. She gently sighs.
"Roxas, I'm sorry for-" I stop her.
"Don't even worry about it." She grins and wraps her arm around me.
"I see you two have made up." Kairi seemed to come out of nowhere. She laughs a little, and seats herself on the other side of Namine. "Selphie and Tidus have to work on their Science project during lunch, so they won't be joining us today." Namine doesn't appear to be phased.
"Oh. Well." Nope. Not in the least.
"Make a wish." Namine closes her eyes, mimicking a child making their birthday wish.
"11:11, Sora! You're supposed to make a wish!"
"That's stupid." Kairi seats herself on the bed, her legs hanging off the side. "What does the time have to do with anything?"
"It's the only time where all of the digits on the clock are the same."
"Not really, Namine. If you go by military time, it would be 23:11. What's so special about that?"
"You don't have to be so literal, Kairi." She sticks her tongue out at me. It may be a silly superstition, but be that as it may...I made my 11:11 PM wish. Namine appears to be thinking very hard about something.
"Sora. Do something. Now."
"About Roxas. Do something. Now. You've had all day, and you've done nothing. We all said our "good-bye"s to him at school, but you so conveniently had something else to do. But he's leaving in less than an hour. So get moving before I do something for you." I silently ponder for a moment.
"You're giving me an ultimatum?"
"Better believe it." Chuckling at how bluntly she says it, I realize how right she is. If I'm going to do something--anything--it has to be now. What exactly? I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.
"Namine, Kairi." Both heads shoot in my direction.
"What is it, Sora?"
"Leave." They blankly gaze at me for a short while.
"I said 'leave.' As in, get out." Kairi lets out a scoff. Namine appears to understand, and drags Kairi--by the wrist--out of my room. Giggling as she does.
"Finally some peace and quiet." Really, I'm not gonna delay this any longer. I open my window and climb onto the roof and down the side of my house. Huh. I've never done that before. Easier than I thought it would be--sneaking out I mean.
I've been standing here, staring at his window for at least five minutes. What I can't figure out is how to get his attention without making any noise. I continue pacing and step on some uneven ground, causing me to slip and land on some pebbles. Ow...
Wait, pebbles. Oh, no. I'm gonna do that, am I? I'm gonna be like every cheesy teen chick flick and throw pebbles at his window? No. I'm not that desperate, am I?
Instead, I decide something slightly more dangerous. I'm gonna climb the side of his house. Ok. I am that desperate.
The feat proves to be more difficult than sneaking into a house. Why does Roxas have to live in a two-story house?
Once I'm on his roof, I have to get up the courage to open the window. Oh. Looks like I won't have to, it's...already open? So the pebbles were a stupid idea, too. I slide my hands in the rack between the window and windowsill, slowly lifting, trying to be silent.
"S...Sora?" I've been caught. "What're you...doing?" The window being fully open now, I seat myself on the windowsill, crossing my arms. Casual as possible, Sora.
"Uh...hey there, Roxas." He wearily steps toward the window. He's still in pajamas. I can gratefully see I'm not too late.
"What are you doing here? It's almost midnight..."
"I know. It's just...I didn't get a chance to say good-bye yet."
"Oh." Oh? All he can say is 'oh?' Not that I was expecting much more from him. Namine was right. He's really never going to say it is he? Well...I guess I'm gonna have to. Gulp.
"Roxas...I have a lot to say, but I'm gonna keep it short, okay?"
"O--okay?" He really has no idea. Just as confused as I was. Deep breath.
"Roxas, I don't want you to move." I cringe, not knowing what to expect as far as reactions go.
"What?" Confusion. That's all I get, huh?
"You're not making this easy for me, Roxas."
"What are you talking about, Sora?"
"Look. I know that Hank said that you should only stay if you're given a really good reason."
"So..."He's staring at me, waiting for some kind of answer. So I'll give him one. I grab his shirt by the collar and pull him towards me, forcing his lips to mine. And I can say this for sure: nothing has ever felt more right. I've closed my eyes so I have no idea what his reaction is. But I don't want this to be over. I linger there for a while, only prolonging the inevitable--I have to pull away at some point. When I can't breathe anymore, I release Roxas' shirt from my grip and, eyes still closed, I let him back away. "That a good enough reason?" I finally open my eyes to look into his directly for the first time. He doesn't answer. I look to the floor again.
"Sora..." Is all that escapes his lips.
"I love you, Roxas." I feel my heart pound as I speak the words. This is no longer reality.
"I...I love you, too, Sora." The words I've been longing to hear, that I was told I never would. My head quickly shoots up, and he's directly in front of me, our faces almost as close as when I kissed him. He gently takes hold of my chin, and oh-so-tenderly places his lips to mine. I was wrong. Nothing has ever felt more right than this.