Disclaimer: I don't own of the characters, though I wish I owned a Tibetan Mastiff. Or a dachshund. Or maybe a Samoyed. Maybe a dalmatian.
Hey KN! Make sure you read this story aloud to Scottie. : D Thanks for the beta, buddy. And if it were up to me, you would have the biggest back yard ever, to do whatever you liked in, including playing volleyball with HC.
And They Call it Puppy Love
Bruce opened the door that led to his enormous back yard, in search of Diana. He quickly spotted her, but she was not alone.
He felt his blood begin to boil at the sight of her playing with the unwelcome visitor, ruffling his hair, smiling and laughing at the dirty mongrel. After watching for a minute, Bruce had seen enough.
"No. Absolutely not!"
Diana looked up from her playmate and smiled. "Now don't be rude. You'll hurt his feelings."
Bruce's only response was to fold his arms across his chest.
Diana disentangled herself from the object of Bruce's anger and sauntered over to him.
"Can we keep him, please?"
At that moment, a fuzzy little puppy ambled over to Bruce's feet. He sniffed them, then looked up at their owner and let out a few happy barks. His tail was wagging overtime.
"See, he already likes you."
"Not for long." Bruce lifted his foot to push the animal away, but he stopped when he saw Diana glaring daggers at him. "Don't you dare, Bruce Wayne, or I'll-"
"You'll see." She was now grinning mischievously at him, and Bruce could have sworn that the dog was giving him the same look. As quick as lighting, Diana had Bruce on the ground. "Come here, Bruce Jr."
"You named him Bruce Jr.?"
"You like it, don't you?"
Bruce opened his mouth to reply, but shuddered when he felt something wet on his face. Unfortunately, for him it was the dog's nose.
"Get. Him. Off. Me. NOW."
But Diana didn't do anything, except laugh when Bruce Jr. jumped on top of his master.
"Awww. He is adorable."
"We are not keeping him."
"Yes, we are."
"And who's going to take care of him?"
"Me, of course."
"You say that now, but it's going to be me feeding, walking, and cleaning after him."
"Don't be such a killjoy. I think you are just jealous."
Bruce scoffed at the very idea. "Jealous? Of that?"
"He's a lot nicer than you. And cuddlier. And more affectionate. I might end up liking him more than you."
Bruce pulled Diana close to him and grinned daringly at her. "I'd like to see you try."
Bruce and Diana's impromptu make-out session was eventually interrupted by Bruce Jr. poking his moist nose into Diana's arm. She laughed and drew away from Bruce, scooping the puppy into her arms and bringing him near her ear. "What's that you say, Bruce Jr? You think he's acting out of his insecurities? I do too." She brought the puppy's face close to hers and they touched noses. Even Bruce's heart melted a little at the sight.
But then he realized that Diana was speaking as if she and the dog were communicating with one another. That was….strange.
"Did you just say the dog spoke with you?"
"Yes. Didn't you know? I can communicate with all animals and my presence can calm wild beasts." She put the puppy down and looked deeply into the eyes of her love. "Why do you think we get along so well?" And then she started laughing at him again.
Bruce Jr. was getting a kick out of the whole scene, as well. He was running around the two, barking and wagging his tail as if Bruce were covered with steak.
Eying the dog suspiciously, Bruce asked, "What kind of dog is he?"
"A Tibetan Mastiff."
"He's going to be huge."
"I like my men big."
"And furry and slobbery?"
"I haven't complained in the past, have I?"
Ignoring her little jab, Bruce asked, "Where's he going to sleep?"
She picked the puppy up again and thrust him into Bruce's face. "How can you say no to this face?"
Bruce didn't look very impressed, so Diana put the dog down. She now put her face close to his. "How can you say no to this face?"
"Very easily. No."
"Fine. He won't sleep in your bed."
"Glad that's settled. I can't believe that you thought I would share-"
"Oooh!" Clearly, Diana wasn't listening to him. "I could make him a Bat costume. He could be your Bat-Dog."
"Are you insane? Puppies and vengeance do not mix."
Undaunted, Diana tried to sell her idea. "Look, Bruce, I already taught him a trick when you were gone."
She snapped her fingers and Bruce Jr. sat down next to her.
"Nice," Bruce said in the most unimpressed tone ever.
"That wasn't the trick." Diana turned to look at Bruce, clearly excited about what was going to happen. Then she pronounced the command. "Batglare."
Immediately, her furry friend rose to all fours, his tail raised in the air, teeth bared, and growling.
Bruce kept waiting for him to stop, but he didn't. He kept going and going.
Finally, Bruce asked, "Isn't he ever going to stop?"
"Not until the magic word is spoken."
"And what might that be, Diana?"
Just like that, Bruce Jr. sat back down again. Diana rubbed his ears and said, "Good boy. Good, good boy."
"The magic word is Diana?" She looked up at him and gave him a satisfied smirk in confirmation.
"You have to hold him."
"No. I don't." But it was already too late. Bruce Jr. was now in the unhappy arms of his other owner. And he began to whimper.
"What are you doing to him?" Diana asked harshly.
"Nothing. He must not like me."
"That's not true. Stop scowling at him. I want you to smile." But the master was not as good at receiving commands as the pet.
"He's just being mean, baby Bruce. But you know what he likes? Big, wet kisses." Bruce's eyes widened, but that was the only reaction he had time for before he felt it. A moist, warm dog tongue lapping at his cheek.
"Make him stop."
"Say the magic word."
Now it was Bruce growling. "Diana."
"I taught him another trick."
"Can't wait to see it."
"Liar." Diana pressed Bruce back into the grass. "Stay." Before he had a chance to become difficult, she said, "Batman," and then a furry fluffball lied down on the ground next to Bruce, snuggling into him for a few seconds before placing his head on top of his chest. As Bruce looked into the liquid brown eyes of his new pet, he finally admitted, "He is pretty cute."
Diana performed the same trick at his other side, taking Bruce's arm and wrapping it around her. As she stared up into his blue eyes, she said, "Very cute."
They leaned in to kiss each other when Bruce Sr. let out a gigantic sneeze, startling Diana and the dog.
"You can get your shots when Bruce Jr. does."
"We'll worry about that later."
And pretty soon puppies, shots, allergies, and everything else was forgotten as Bruce and Diana celebrated the latest addition to the Manor.
If you love puppies too, feel free to let me know.