AUTHOR'S NOTES: I would first like to point out that I was NOT drinking OR on drugs when this was written. This little ficlet was inspired by a LiveJournal icon which said: "'You'll never know friendship?' WTF?! Is there an alternate ending where Voldemort gets the Care Bear Stare?"
Just so you know that this wasn't random insanity.
HARRY POTTER: Killing With Kindness
"You'll never know friendship," Harry Potter said as he faced Lord Voldemort in final combat.
Voldemort started to reply, but he was distracted by a rainbow which appeared in the Great Hall of Hogwarts.
When the rainbow faded away, there was a row of 10 small bears, each in different colors and each with a colorful picture on its belly.
"What the fuck is this?" Voldemort said, looking at the bears. "Who the hell are you?"
"We're Care Bears," said a brown bear with a red heart on its tummy. "I'm Tenderheart."
Voldemort looked at Harry in disbelief. "This is your defense, Potter?"
Harry shook his head. "I didn't summon them here."
"But you did call us here, Harry," said a pink bear with a rainbow. "Your love and caring called us here to help you."
"Uh…" Harry looked perplexed but shrugged. "Okay… I guess. How are you going to…?"
Tenderheart nodded at the other Care Bears. "With a Care Bear Stare."
Harry was still bewildered and after he stepped out of the way, beams of hearts, smiling suns, and hearts hit Voldemort who screamed in agony.
After a while, there was a small explosion like a mini-fireworks display and Voldemort exploded.
The Great Hall erupted into cheers as everyone standing around celebrated the final destruction of Voldemort.
Harry, though, still wasn't sure what had just happened and just stood their with a dumbfounded look on his face as the Care Bears disappeared on the very rainbow that had brought them there.
Waking up from the couch, Harry saw that he'd fallen asleep watching muggle cartoons with Albus, James, and Lily.
After a moment Harry decided not to tell Ginny about the dream. That was just too weird to share with anyone.