How do I get Robin into these situations?

Merchant: i feel like writing porn .

Anyana: jaw just hit the keyboard oh yes yes yes pleeeeeease?

Merchant: hmm

Merchant: I need a plot-y situation to use as an excuse for the porn

Anyana: I'm a cliche, but I love when people get stuck somewhere for a length

of time

Merchant: classic

Anyana: like, they have to hide from super evil ninja robots

Merchant: we need a stuck-in-an-elevator scene.

Anyana: or Red sees Robin strapped to an evil professors lab table, and Red goes in to save him because he thinks he'll get something for it, but then the doors slam shut, they can't get out and Robin's still strapped down and then sex

Ah. Right.

Happy Birthday, Anya.


It wasn't the weirdest thing he'd ever seen—there were no giant moths or four-eyed interdimensional demons involved, after all—but it's not every day you waltz into a mad scientist's lab, looking to steal some Xinothium, and come across a half-naked hero strapped to the table.

So you couldn't really blame Red for losing his grasp on the situation and accidentally triggering the auto lock-down of the facility instead of disabling the alarm, which he'd been about to do.

"Intruders detained," said the computer-synthesized voice on the loudspeakers. "Quaruntine initiated."

Red shrugged and strolled over to the lab table. He'd always prided himself on being the kind of guy that makes the most out of every situation.

"Hi, Wonder Boy," he said, and graciously peeled away the tape gag.

The first thing Robin said was, "--idiot!" Red sighed and stuck the tape back on.


"If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." Red surveyed the room slowly, taking in the complete lack of visible exits.

"How long until Dr. Chang gets back, d'you think?" he asked idly. And then, more interestedly, "And what the hell was he doing?"

At this point, he recalled that Robin was gagged. He sighed and removed the tape once more.

"Blech!" Robin spat out the taste of glue (mostly on Red's mask) and glared. "What are you doing here?"

"Xinothium," said Red simply.

Robin sneered. "I might have known."

"Watch the attitude, kid. You're going to need my help taking Chang down. Or have you not noticed that you're strapped down and I'm not?"

Robin had a few things to say to that – a lot of things, actually, ranging from "don't call me 'kid'" to "wait, you're going to help me?"

But at that moment, he found himself with something entirely different to worry about.

"Your…your hand's on my…"

"Sure is." A light stroke, almost a tickle, to his thigh. Robin wiggled.



"Stop. Right now."

A gloveless hand slipped beneath the waistband of his leggings. "Are you sure?"

"I'm – oh, fuck. Fuck."

At that point, the complaints stopped.

A couple hours later, Dr. Chang still hadn't arrived, and Robin still wasn't complaining.