First off, let's get things straight.


I am only a fan that loves her characters.

The only thing I own is this story line, but she holds all rights to the characters and to Twilight.

This disclaimer goes to the whole story


On to the prologue…

Thanks to my beta's readinangel and flamingo1325 for editing this!


It was 15 years ago when he said those words to me. The same words that haunt me everyday; the same ones that make my shattered heart painfully lurch for hours on end. I know it might be selfish and stupid to want him back with me, especially if he is the one that left me for the second time. Hopeless wishing was all I had left when I thought of him.

I wonder every day what would have happened if he knew of my future; of what was destined to happen. Would he have stayed? Would he have cared? No, I don't think he would have.

That day in the forest changed things drastically. He might have told me that he loved me more than a hundred times, but when he said his love for me was gone- that one time he told me it was gone over-powered the rest. Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.

It was worse than the first time. He had made a promise to never leave, and all my hope and trust in him had gone into that one single promise. I loved him then; I still love him almost more than anything in this world. I would have given him the moon and the stars if he had asked for it-it's not like I could have offered him anything less. He deserved the universe and more for showing me what love was. He did leave me and he did take away a large part of who I am. But he also gave me memories I wouldn't give up for anything that this half-life had to offer.

I told him I wanted to be like him, his equal. I begged him to change me. But no, he wouldn't have it. He told me it was because I didn't deserve his way of life; that I deserved to die and go to heaven. He even had the nerve to call me his angel.

I guess it's a good and a bad thing that I didn't go through my heartbreak alone this time. If I had been alone, I don't think I would have made it this far to tell you the truth.

Sure Jacob was there, and he would always my best friend. Even though back then he loved me and I loved him, after I changed we knew it could never be. I would always love him, but now he has changed in to more of a strong, protective, loving brother instead of anything more. He is just a big puppy after all.

But deep down I knew we would always hold those feelings for each other well-hidden within our hearts. We would always love each other but things had changed since then. Plus if I had chosen to be with him, it would have only lasted the length of one year at the most considering he imprinted not long after he left; probably within the first six months after. I wouldn't be able to deal with a double whammy like that. Losing another lover would have destroyed me. Choosing this path, atleast I still had my friend.

I know to the people around me I seem like a normal person who isn't hiding anything from the world. They think I am 'little miss perfect' and the world is perfect and everything is just perfect. There never was such a perfect lie.

I know I should hate him but I can't. Once you find 'The One', it stays there like a little mosquito that is trying to suck you dry. It's the kind of unrequited love that some would kill for and others would sell their soul to live without. If I didn't have my two little angels I would be one of those people selling their souls. But they need me as much as I need them and I refuse to let them think for one second that they are unloved.

Well…I guess it's time to put on my mask of a smile and see them- they should be here soon. It was the first day of their sophomore year and I'm hoping things went better this year than in the past.

My kids know about their father and their other family; I told them they could come to me at anytime for any questions about them if they wanted to. But they never have, not once.

And I won't push them because it's their choice. Just like it was my choice to come back to Forks. I wanted to be with Charlie for his last few years even though it was the cruelest kind of torture for me. I love my kids and I will always protect them. Now I just have to figure out how to protect myself.