Author's Note: This was written many years ago, almost three now, and always been a little infamous amongst my friends. It was originally written right after my fic A Jar of Almonds. Tho, b/c it was never really edited, it never got posted. However, I bring it to you now and all of its cracktastic glory. It took three author's to write this, the third was brought in b/c we couldn't think of an ending.

Enjoy and be prepared to never be able to clean your mind out w/ soap again!!

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters in anyway.

I Wanna Taste Your Soap

A Yuuri/Wolfram fic

"Ugh," sighed Yuuri. "I never want to go hiking again. So dirty!"

"Oh, quit your whining, wimp," said Wolfram. "After a nice, long bath, it won't even matter."

A bath sounded like heaven to Yuuri's aching muscles and tired body. They go to el batho.

"Yay! El batho!" squealed a dirty Yuuri.

"Quit squealing and take off your clothes, you wimp."

"I'm not taking my clothes off until you take off yours!" shouted Yuuri, just to be annoying and add some pizzazz to this CRACK!

Wolfram bowed his head and like the blushing uke he is, he removed his uniform piece by piece from his golden buttons to his g-string underwear.

Yuuri nodded, pleased. "Good, glad to see that you follow the commands of your king," stated Yuuri, with approval. So, with that, Yuuri unbuttoning his black school uniform, aka Royal Garb. Halfway through, Yuuri changed his mind. "Oh Wolfram!" Yuuri called, "come… assist me."

Nekkid!Wolfram approached his fiancé who was clad in only his pants and shoes. The blonde firmly grabbed the front of Yuuri's belt and undid the buckle sliding it easily through his belt loops. Next, he moved to Yuuri's pants and smoothly undid the button and zipper and pulled them down. All that was left was Yuuri's Mazoku thong. Wolfram gulped and before he could thing about it, pulled it off.

Wolfram soon realized his position as he looked up from where he was kneeling on the floor. He was face to face with a certain anatomy of Yuuri's. Looking flustered, Wolfram stood up and trembled. "We should get into the bath," spluttered Wolfram.

Yuuri, looking smug, led the way. They eased into the bath. Wolfram turned away from Yuuri, his cheeks very red.

Yuuri picked up the soap and lathered his hands. His goal was to clean the streaks of dirt up and down Wolfram's arms. The Maou grasped the prince's arms and started scrubbing.

"Gah! Yuuri! What are you doing?" shouted Wolfram.

"Lathering you up… you're really dirty, Wolfram," stated Yuuri.

"Oh… okay," replied Wolfram, allowing Yuuri to rub soap all over various parts of his body.

The demon king rubbed the sweet smelling soap all over Wolfram's dirty body. He started from the blonde's slim shoulders and lathered up each arm. Yuuri continued down the back until he reached a firm, round buttocks. Without even stopping to think of the consequences, Yuuri started to lather Wolfram's cheeks.

Wolfram had been thoroughly enjoying the attention and relishing every touch. He closed his eyes and focused solely on the sensation of Yuuri's lathering. He quickly became relaxed, so relaxed that he didn't notice Yuuri's hands traveling lower.

"Hey, Yuuri… what are you doing?" said a shocked Wolfram.

"Still lathering," replied Yuuri, engrossed in his task.

"Oh… okay," said Wolfram again as he returned to his enjoyment of Yuuri's touch.

Yuuri moved down to Wolfram's legs and lathered, really, all over his body. When Yuuri finished, he turned a slippery Wolfram to face him. "You've still got some dirt on your face, Wolfram... Here, let me get it off. Hmm… I just happen to have some soap in my mouth… I'll use that to… get it off."

Wolfram looked positively flustered as Yuuri pulled Wolfram towards him and began to do nothing other than lick his cheek.

See, there really wasn't any dirt on Wolfram's cheek and well there might've been soap in Yuuri's mouth, but that's not the point. The point is Yuuri had really only said that so he could lick Wolfram's cheek. The licking quickly turned to tiny kisses placed all over the blonde's face. When one came close to Wolfram's lips, the buy who'd been relatively unresponsive took action and a snogging session occurred.

Wolfram grabbed Yuuri and pulled him closer to his lathered body, their lips pressing together. Yuuri's arms snaked around Wolfram's slick hips. "Oh, Yuuri," moaned Wolfram. "Your soap tastes so… sumptuous."

"Mmm, glad you like it," growled Yuuri, pulling in for another kiss.

The two boys engaged deeper into their liplock. Tongues passed through lips and saliva was swapped. Hands frantically searched for places to grab and new places to touch. The boys finally pulled away before they lost their last breaths to each other.

They stood in the water, staring into each others eyes and panting slowly.

After Yuuri had caught his breath, he moved his lips to Wolfram's neck, sucking softly. "Mmm," moaned Wolfram, a sensuous shiver shooting up his spine.

"Oh, Wolfram," said Yuuri, between kisses, "I want to taste more of your… soap."

"Go ahead," growled Wolfram.

Yuuri purred and continued the ravishing Wolfram's neck. Wolfram's head rolled back as Yuuri's name left his lips and became boneless in Yuuri's embrace. The king's hand slid between the two bodies.

Yuuri's hand began to travel down Wolfram's soapy body. It got lower and lower, until…

"Yuuri, stop!" moaned Wolfram.

"Wha?" shouted Yuuri, shocked at the interruption.

"Look around us Yuuri. Is this really something to be doing in all this water and… soap."

"I like soap," said Yuuri, pulling Wolfram closer to his body. "And besides, I work best with… water," purred Yuuri, sensuously.

"I'm sure you do," growled Wolfram. "But what you seem to forget is that I work best where it's warm. And, Yuuri, soap isn't warm."

"We could make it warm…"

"No, Yuuri. Enough, with this water, we're going to your room."

"Oh… okay," said Yuuri. He swooped Wolfram's soapy body up into his arms and carried him out of the bath and in through the dark hallways of the castle.

"Hurry, Yuuri," cried Wolfram. "I want you to taste a different kind of… soap."

"Hey, it's kind of like we just got married!" Yuuri exclaimed, drunken with excitement.

"Huh?" Wolfram didn't get it, also forgetting to help Yuuri open the door to their room (well, he was playing the roll of an uke after all).

"Where I'm from the husband always carriers the bride over the threshold," the king explained to the poor confused blonde.


"Well… not everyday, just when they're newlyweds."

"We're newlyweds!" Wolfram cheered.

Yuuri set his 'bride' on the big fluffy bed and leaned over him, nuzzling his slender neck.

"Warm enough for you?" Yuuri murmured.

"Not quite," Wolfram breathed, pulling the sheets over them and snaking an arm around Yuuri's neck, session. The night was young and they were horny boys who were engaged.

Gunter looked tired the next day at breakfast. Wolfram and Yuuri were carefully avoiding speaking.

"There's no soap in the bathroom," Gunter mumbled helplessly.

Yuuri chuckled, while poor little Wolfram fell out of his chair.

"Oh my, did you not sleep last night Wolfy-dear?" his mother asked worriedly.

Yuuri busted a gut.

AN: Thank for reading now please review.