Tears of an Angel

Organisation X

Disclaimer: Don't own Gravitation

Rating: T

Summary: In this world people are sometimes blind to what is real love or worse just don't care. Shuichi is attacked because he love Yuki. This causes Yuki to make a revelation and write a book about it.

Shindou Shuichi was walking home from the studio one cloudy afternoon, chatting away on the phone to his band mate Nakano Hiroshi as if it had been a year since the two of them had seen each other, regardless of the fact that Shuichi had only just left Hiro's side fifteen minutes ago.

"I am so happy with this next song, Hiro! I can't wait to see how it débuts!"

Shuichi stopped as Hiro answered him, "Hang on Hiro…the reception's gone bad…" Shuichi stepped off the edge of the walkway and out of the way of other pedestrians, "Nope, still not good…"

Shuichi wandered further to the right, not noticing he had stepped into a shadowy alleyway. "Oh that's better! Not so much noise either! What was that before? Oh! That's right! You're going to see Ayaka-chan over the weekend! Aww, you two are so cute…no I will not shut up…anyway, I'd better go…I have to get back home to Yuki! I love him so much," Shuichi giggled, "Hiro! Don't roll your eyes at me! Yes you did…I can feel it! Ok, I'm going now, see you next week!"

Shuichi hung up his phone call and placed the cell back into his pocket.

Further down the alleyway were a trio of men, drinking their misfortunes and malcontent for the world around them away. "Oi…there's that Bad Luck fag," said Kaito, a tall, skinny man, pointing as he finished off another can of a cheap beer.

A shorter man of similar physique sneered, "Disgusting. Fags should be locked up for medical experiments, don't you agree Jun?"

A short, stocky man who was standing further in shadow replied, "You know my woman is crazed over those two fags? The fucking bitch gets all starry-eyed whenever either of them is on the fucking television." Jun took a swig from his dented can, "It makes me sick. It's not natural Yujiro."

Yujiro stood up with an evil grin on his face, "You know, that fag just stepped onto our patch. Shouldn't we do something about that?"

Kaito and Jun wore identical grins and moved out of the shadows, starting for Shuichi.

Shuichi had just taken one step back in the direction of the main street when he was grabbed from behind by strong arms, a hand coming down over his mouth before he could scream for help. As he was dragged deeper into the alleyway and out of any passer-by's vision, he tried to kick and squirm out of the firm grip with no success, and a sharp twinge went through his ankle as he stumbled against his attacker.

A slim man stepped into his line of sight with a look on his face that could shame the Devil himself. Shuichi was terrified, and tears started flowing as flashes of Aizawa Taki and his rape flooded his memory.

"Oi, oi, oi, you need to calm down there boy," taunted Yujiro, "You see, you stumbled on our patch, and we don't exactly like faggots around here. So, the three of us here came to the conclusion that you need to be taught some manners." Yujiro stepped closer and grabbed Shuichi's hair in his fist.

Shuichi cried out as his hair was pulled viciously. He was screaming inside, his mind doing cartwheels as to what might happen to him. Was he going to be raped again, or even killed? Was he going to get kidnapped and held at ransom? Would he ever see Yuki again? Shuichi started to struggle even more when he felt a blunt object against his stomach, the shock slowly wearing off only to be replaced by the throbbing pain of being punched.

The hand covering his mouth loosened its hold, allowing Shuichi a moment to bite into the chubby flesh, earning himself a rough backhand from the man in front of him, silencing any scream he might have built up.

Jun stepped back clutching his hand, "You little fucker! I'm gonna get you for that you dirty fag!"

Part of Shuichi regretted taking self-defensive action, but another part of him didn't, even when he was thrown onto the dirty ground and kicked in his already injured stomach. He managed to knock the tallest one to the ground by pushing his feet out from under him, but he was rewarded with several kicks to his ribs. Shuichi hacked as he tried to take air into his burning body, finally just lying still as the pain overtook him and his vision started to blur.

As Shuichi lay there with one arm wrapped around his bruising stomach, he heard one of them spit before declaring, "You fags should all have your cocks ripped off!"

Shuichi barely felt the spit land on his cheek and let unconsciousness take him as he listened to footsteps getting further and further away.

The darkness had completely taken him long before his mobile phone started ringing, 'Yuki-koi' showing as the caller's ID.

It was getting late. The night had fallen a little while ago, but Shuichi hadn't returned home. "I'll be back at about 8 tonight, so don't forget to make dinner!" the boy had said to him before leaving for NG earlier this morning. Now it was past 11 p.m. and there was still no sign of the boy. Although he would never admit it aloud, and certainly not in front of his little lover, the cold-hearted bastard that was Yuki Eiri was seriously worried.

It wasn't the first time the singer had been late, like when his crazy manager hadn't let him leave until they'd finished recording their latest song, or when he'd wanted to go out with Nakano Hiro...but Shuichi always phoned to tell him, especially when he knew Eiri would make dinner for both of them, and when they were going to spend some time together.

Still in front of his laptop's screen, the blond closed his hazel eyes, trying to suppress his up-coming headache. How was he supposed to find some stability in his life, as his psychiatrist had asked him to, if he couldn't rely on the person who was supposed to give said stability? And the brat made me cook dinner! I've waited long enough for him to come home, the food is cold...I won't wait any longer. Does he want to starve me to death? the writer thought, standing up from his comfortable swivel chair to go into the kitchen.

Once there, he began to prepare himself a plate that he could warm up in the microwave. The more he tried not to think about how late Shuichi was, the more he actually thought about it. He put his pride aside to call his boyfriend, but nobody answered. Shuichi always answers me. His worrying finally getting the better of him, he left the half-full plate on the kitchen table and went back into the living room to try and call Shuichi one more time.

"That's not normal. The brat is so clingy, he should've picked up his phone as soon as the ID told him it was me," he murmured to himself as began to dial the boy's number again.

But before he could finish, the phone buzzed in his hand. He started, glad nobody was there to catch him frightened by the stupid machine. He took a deep breath to help himself calm down before answering.

"Hello?" he asked coldly.

"Eiri-san? It's Tohma."

"Not right now, Seguchi. I'm not in the mood to deal with whatever my father and my sister asked you to-"

"I'm not calling about your sister or father, Eiri-san," the synth-player cut him off. "Actually it's about Shindou-san."

And there was the magic word that earned Tohma all the novelist's attention. NG's president guessed, by his brother-in-law's silence, that he was allowed to speak.

"The police called me a few minutes ago to tell me that Shindou-san has been attacked on his way back home. He was found by some passer-by. I was told he was fine but, knowing Shindou-san's stubbornness, I think he might be hiding some injuries, so we should go there and-"

Eiri stood in shock at Tohma's words, 'Shindou-san's been attacked' replaying over and over again like a broken record before he recovered and cut his brother-in-law off, "There's no need for you to go. I'll go alone."

"Wait a min-"

Eiri didn't wait for Seguchi to say anything. He immediately picked up his keys and wallet, put on his shoes and coat, and then left. It didn't take him too long to arrive at Tokyo's police headquarters, and as soon as he got into the high building, he began to look for his lover.

At first, when he asked for Shuichi at the reception desk, the man in charge kept saying it was confidential. Of course, dealing with a famous rock star's attack, the police didn't want suspicious people or, even worse - the media, to poke their nose into the affair. The guy didn't trust him when he said he was Yuki Eiri, Shuichi's lover. Being met with such stupidity made the author angry, and he was forced to remove the black glasses he always wore to hide from fans and the paparazzi to prove he really was Yuki Eiri. Then, once he had shown them his beautiful, well-known face, he caught the attention the police hadn't wanted. At least now, this fucking receptionist was forced to lead him to Shuichi and the cop in charge of the affair.

At long last, he found his little lover in one of the inspectors' offices, making his statement against the attackers. Through the closed door's pane, Eiri could see the boy. He looked so pale the writer could swear he was about to faint, and so he knocked on the door, and opened it, informing the singer and the inspector of his presence.

"I'm sorry, it's a private interview," the cop said blankly.

"I know," the blond simply replied, before coming in and closing the door behind him.

"Yuki," Shuichi whispered.

By the tone of his voice, anyone could hear the boy was half-relieved, half-surprised to see his lover there. How did Yuki know I was here? Moreover, why did he even come? he wondered.

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave," the inspector insisted, standing up with a harsh glower on his face.

"I'm taking Shuichi home," Yuki answered, matching the inspector's glare.

"Then wait outside until I've finished with-"

"Please, Inspector Takigawa, let Yuki stay with me," Shuichi asked. "He's my...my boyfriend."

The cop, obviously called Takigawa, frowned slightly at the novelist, although he did sit back down onto his chair.

"Fine then, if Shindou-san wants you to stay... Anyway, we're nearly finished. I'm going to print the documents, then all that you'll need to do is sign them."

The inspector quickly typed something into his computer before standing up again. He excused himself and left the two lovers alone.

Neither of them dared to break the silence. It ended up becoming quite uncomfortable, so Shuichi asked, "How did you know?"

"Seguchi called me."

Another silence. Eiri couldn't stand it anymore.

"What happened?"

Lowering his head to look at his knees as if they were more interesting than his lover's question, the singer kept silent, not daring to tell his Yuki how bad those bastards had hurt him, and how he'd failed miserably to defend himself.

"Shuichi," the writer growled. He was more than a little angry since he'd spent this fucking evening waiting and worrying for his partner, then arguing with idiots about his rights to see Shuichi. He really wasn't in the mood to face the boy's stubborn silence.

"For the second and last time, what happened, brat?!" he asked, more coldly.

Seeing how his harsh tone had startled his younger lover, Yuki regretted the way he'd insisted. It was obvious that Shuichi was still in shock, which was normal. He had just been victim of...Of what? I still need to know what those bastards did to him! And he immediately remembered what had happened the last time someone had hurt his Shuichi. Images of Taki Aizawa and the scumbags who had raped his lover flashed across his mind. He clenched his fists in anger. He could not bear it if his boyfriend had been raped again.

"Shuichi, tell me. I need to know what they did to you."

"It doesn't matter, Yuki. Don't worry about it," the singer answered with a weak voice and a fake smile.

Eiri came up to his lover and crouched down in front of him. Now that they were at eye level, Eiri noticed how bad the singer was at hiding his feelings. His eyes were like open windows to his heart.

"It does matter, because if those...those bastards dared to...touch you, again, I swear I'll kill them."

Shuichi's pain-filled eyes brightened slightly at the mere thought that Yuki really cared for him. It doesn't matter if he's just being possessive, the pink-haired man thought, it's enough for me.

"I told you there was nothing to worry about, Yuki. They just beat me up. I ended up fainting after they left me in that alley. I'm sorry, Yuki."

"Don't apologize," the writer said, standing up.

He took Shuichi's hands, silently asking him to stand up as well, then simply pressed the boy's body against his, the novelist's right arm wrapped around Shuichi's slender waist. Yuki expected the boy to cry and snuggle up against him, moving into the embrace by putting his arms around Yuki as well, but Shuichi did nothing except whine as if in pain.

The blond frowned and looked at the young man with a questioning look in his eyes. Then he noticed the way that Shuichi was holding his ribcage with his right hand. He was about to ask him about his injuries, when the inspector came back.

"I'm taking you to the hospital as soon as we're done with this police report," he whispered in his lover's ear.

They didn't have to wait too much longer. Like inspector Takigawa had told them, all that was left was for Shuichi to sign the papers, and then the two lovers left the building.

As soon as they entered Yuki's car, Shuichi murmured, "Yuki...There's no need to go to the hospital, you know. I'm fine, really."

"Stop it."

"W-What?" the singer asked, with a weak smile.

"Stop acting dumb, you idiot," the novelist answered, switching the ignition on.

Shuichi giggled softly, earning a questioning look from his boyfriend, "You're the one who always says I'm dumb or an idiot or whatever. It's hard for me to not act like one, now."


"Yuki, please. I really don't-"

"Shut up and do as I say," Yuki cut in. "If I want you to see a doctor then there's no avoiding it."

With that, Shuichi simply kept silent, obeying his beloved Yuki's orders as they drove in the direction of the hospital.

'He's so light…so small in my arms…' Yuki looked down at his small lover, sleeping silently in his arms. The apartment lay still around them, the only sound being the echoing of the clock ticking away in the corner.

'How can he stand it… being so small…' Yuki thought, gently brushing back Shuichi's pink hair, tensing as his lover shifted on the large couch that ordained the corner of the apartment, then relaxing as Shuichi fell silent again, once more finding a comfortable position. 'I'm a coward. I run away from everything. I push away everything. Outwardly, I seem so strong, so 'big' and 'strong', but in reality, I'm nothing compared to him.'

The silence continued. Yuki's hand hesitantly hovered over Shuichi, in an attempt to find a safe place to touch him that wouldn't frighten or hurt him.

'Again,' He thought, scoffing slightly 'Again this happened. Again he's hurt. Because he's with me. Because he's with me, he is broken constantly. That bright smile is constantly wiped off his face. Constantly those pink cheeks are marred with tears…'

Yuki allowed his eyes to close, fighting back the tears that welled in them. 'Will they ever accept us?' Yuki thought, taking in a shaky breath 'Will they ever let me love him, let us live in peace? Is this Kitazawa's vengeance? Has he cursed me in some way, so that to repay for his death, everyone I love, everyone I touch, ends up hurt? So that I begin to fear to love? Begin to fear everything and everyone so much that I just push them all away from me and put on the mask of a cold and heartless bastard?'

Resisting the urge to kiss his baka, Yuki softly murmured, "Sorry…"

"For what?"

Both men tensed.

'I couldn't resist. Me and my big mouth.' Shuichi opened his eyes, turning so he lay on his back, his face looking up at Yuki 'But when I heard his voice… when I heard his apology…when I heard the sorrow, the pain and regret return to his voice…I just had to speak.'

"You were awake?"

Shuichi stared blankly into Yuki's amber eyes and nodded. There was a silence.

'Why are you crying, Yuki?'

"What are you sorry for?"

There was another pause. The clock kept ticking.


Needing no further explanation, Shuichi fell silent.

"It'll never end…will it?" Yuki continued.

Shuichi shrugged, "We can only hope," he said, gently.

"How do you do this?" Yuki began.

"Do what?"

"How do you…go on?"

Shuichi paused for a moment, searching for the right words to say, "Because," he began, reaching up to touch his love, "I get to see you."

Yuki fought the smile coming to his lips, then tensed as he felt Shuichi wipe away his tears.


"It'll be alright," Shuichi began, tears forming again in his, "It'll all-"

But before he could finish, Yuki's lips crushed down on his.

Shuichi shifted to a much better position as he rubbed his aching muscles. During the past few days since the accident had happened, he developed a habit of massaging his legs and waist with his numb hand. He wanted Yuki to do it for him, even just a minute for the blond to travel his warm hands down his back. But he didn't dare ask Yuki for it. He didn't want to bother his lover who had yet another deadline coming up.

He moaned softly as he rubbed ointment onto his bruised ankle.

"Ouch," he muttered grumpily and accidentally dropped the bottle of ointment onto the cold floor. Yet, even as it clanked loudly, it didn't compare to the sound that was coming from the study area, where the constant click-clacking of Eiri's keyboard could be heard.

Shuichi sighed and got a cloth to wipe up the spilled ointment from the floor. As he was doing so, the doorbell rang.

"About time." He abandoned the cloth and walked slowly to the door to open it.

"Who is it?" He asked in a sing-song voice and peeked through the gap. He knew very well who was behind it.

"Shu, it's me," came the familiar reply.

"Hiro!" Shuichi flung himself onto his best friend, almost like a koala hugging a tree.

"Shu-i-chi. Stop it… can't breathe," Hiro mumbled and eventually the singer loosened his hold.

They both entered the apartment and the spilled ointment caught Hiro's eye. He looked at it, then to Shuichi, and then back again. He sighed.

"You want something to drink, Hiro?" Shuichi asked.

Hiro looked at the vocalist and almost gasped when he saw the large pale green-blue bruise that was covering Shuichi's left cheek. Aside from that, the corner of his mouth was cut, his eyes had lost its usual bright glaze, and his whole body was covered with scratches, stitches and wounds. Shuichi, who realised that Hiro was studying his body, shuffled his feet and began looking at the floor.

"Are you sure you're taking care of yourself Shuichi? If you aren't, you can always go to my apartment..."

"I can take care of myself!" Shuichi defended, "and Yuki's here to take…" He wanted to say 'care', but he was sure that Hiro wasn't stupid enough to not notice that Yuki was indeed lacking care, and also love.

There was a complete silence between them, only to be broken by the creaking sound of an opening door. Shuichi tensed up.

The writer emerged from his study area, eyebrows knotted as he stepped out of his dark hideout. He took a quick glance at Shuichi and then to Hiro before he went into the kitchen without a word.

A light of hope flared quickly on Shuichi's eyes as Yuki glanced at him, and quickly it went gone as Yuki didn't seem to utter even a grunt. His sad face became gloomier, and that was when Hiro felt a burning sensation in his stomach. He followed the writer into the kitchen, made him turn to face him and punched him in the stomach without a word.


"Hiro!" Shuichi screamed as he ran to Yuki's side. Yuki was clutching his stomach and glaring at the guitarist. "Why did you do that?" Shuichi screamed again. The cup of coffee that the writer was supposed to be drinking had crashed to the floor, spilling the drink everywhere.

Yuki pushed Shuichi aside and aimed a punch at Hiro's face, which the latter dodged, before receiving a kick to the stomach instead. Hiro growled in pain.

"Yuki!" Shuichi shouted, and stood between them, attempting to stop the fight.

"The nerve," Yuki said in a cool and daring voice. "You're inside my house, Nakano Hiroshi. And you wouldn't stand a chance to defeat me."

Hiro held his stomach tightly and coughed. He felt as if his breathing was stopped for a minute. Damn it. I can't stand up.

Shuichi was trembling as he watched the two in horror, afraid of what might happen next. Hiro, mustering his courage and strength, gripped onto a nearby counter and glared at Yuki.

"You worthless piece of scum," he said and tried to stand up despite his weak knees. Shuichi supported Hiro on the arms and whispered, "Hiro, stop it!"

Hiro just shouted more, "You fucking bastard!"

Shuichi was at the verge of tears.

Yuki raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me? What are you talking about? I'm not doing anything," he said in a mocking voice.

Hiro gave a sarcastic laugh, "That's exactly the point! You don't do anything! Every time something bad happens to Shuichi – every time he's in danger," Hiro managed to stand and advance towards Yuki. He pushed the blond back with every word he was saying, "every time he begs for your love – you aren't there! You don't do anything. You're a worthless pile of rubbish YUKI EIRI!"

Shuichi cried this time, torn between wanting to stop Hiro and wanting to agree with him. He stood in front of Yuki trying to block Hiro's hands. "Hiro – Hiro, please," he almost whimpered and looked frightfully at Hiro's eyes.

Yuki fell silent. Apparently, he was digesting every word that Hiro said. He looked at the trembling boy in front of him. Shuichi's hands were gripping his arms to stop him from punching Hiro more, and he noticed too that a new reddish patch was forming on Shuichi's knees that maybe he'd acquired as Yuki had pushed him onto the floor earlier. He gulped, but retained his cool, annoyed look. Shuichi gave him the equal look of fright that he gave Hiro. He looked away.

Hiro on the other hand, brushed his clothes down with his hand. He bit his lip for not controlling his anger. He glanced nervously at Yuki and then to Shuichi and muttered a silent "I'm sorry."

Yuki glared at the redhead, not because they'd had a fight seconds ago, but because of the fact that he'd shoved into his face the reality that he was not at all a very good and caring boyfriend to Shuichi. He wanted to say sorry too, to Shuichi, but his pride was eating his whole self. He would rather die than to say it directly to him, and in front of Hiro.

Before all emotion could flow out of his body, he ordered his feet to walk. He went to his study area without another word or a glance to Shuichi, just like he'd done earlier. He closed the door silently and locked himself up.

Shuichi stared at the door as if daring it to cough out Yuki.

"Shuichi," he felt a soft hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry. I'll go now. I'll just see you around." He heard Hiro's weak voice and nodded. He was still staring at Yuki's door and felt that his whole world was engulfed in darkness as Hiro opened and then closed the front door.