Disclaimer: Bleach is © Kubo Tite, Viz, Studio Pierrot, Shueisha, etc. This is a nonprofit fanwork.
"Ophelia should have just kicked his butt!" she was saying with much conviction.
"Ophelia went crazy," Ichigo said.
"Well, of course she did." Rukia was matter-of-fact. "If I'd been "tumbled" all over the place and then told by my "tumbler" to go to a nunnery, I'd probably not be in my right mind either."
Ichigo raised an eyebrow. "Great. I'll keep that in mind."
"Don't be silly," she said. "You're already crazy."
"WHAT-" he began self-righteously.
"Besides," she said with a predatory smile, "I would never tell you to go to a nunnery. It wouldn't suit you at all."
Best to just let that one slide, he decided, raising his eyes to high heaven and wondering what had ever possessed him to introduce Rukia to great literature in the first place.
"Okay," he said, "look, Shakespeare is still relevant to our daily lives. Everything he writes about is reflective of the human condition."
"I'm a Shinigami."
"Same difference. You're still alive . . . sort of. Well, anyway, the human condition is applicable to you too. I mean, you can take the story of anyone, you and me for example, and ask questions like: Why are we here? For what purpose? Where are we going? How's it going to end?"
"It had better not!"
"This," said Rukia sagely, "is much ado about nothing."