AN 1: For the purposes of the story, I am pretending that Booth was a single father with no Rebecca in the story. Booth and Brennan were married and raising Parker until something happened.
AN 2: I haven't figured out if I am keeping Booth dead or not - which is why the summary says dead for now - I have an ending in mind which could go either way. I'll take votes.AN 3: I know there are several more stories I should work on. I got this idea when watching the previews for PS I love you. I just needed to get this one out and put my own spin. Love it, hate it? Let me know. Now on to the story.
Disclaimers: I don't own Bones, wish I did but I don't. Any similarities between PS I love you is just that, a similarity, I haven't seen anything but the previews, and well, I can't convince my boyfriend to take me to see it - so any similarity is just coincidence.
Forever yours, Love Seeley
Dr. Temperance Brennan woke up and hit the alarm clock. She went to the closet and pulled out his shirt and breathed in his scent. It was part of her routine, wake up and smell his scent. It was the only thing she had left of the love of her life. She smiled - it was Seeley, Crew shampoo and a hint of Aqua di Gio. She closed her eyes and felt his arms around her. God, she missed him.
She padded down the hall and knocked on her adopted son's door. "Up and at 'em Parker. You don't want to be late for school again! It is the day of your field trip."
She expected for him to be excited. It was all he talked about all week. Parker's kindergarten class would be visiting the Jeffersonian. Brennan cracked open the five year olds door and found his back turned to her. He was still lying in bed.
She was about to get upset with him when she realized that he was not asleep, he was looking at a picture that Angela had taken. The picture had captured the small family during a company picnic. Booth, Brennan, and Parker were dancing around in a circle, Booth tossing his son in the air, and Brennan had her arms wrapped around his waist. Nothing but smiles were seen.
"Bones, I miss Daddy." He whispered sitting on his bed.
She invited herself into the room and ruffled his hair. Motherhood had come unexpectantly, and she hadn't exactly welcomed it, but she would have never denied the Booth anything. That included the task of taking care of his son.
"I miss him to Bub." She pulled him close and looked into his eyes.
"Why did God need him?" Parker asked.
"Well, your dad was a great soldier for truth here on earth, and God needed someone like that in heaven." After having a long talk with Dr. Sweets, Brennan realized that letting Parker believe in heaven was much like letting a child believe in Santa. She had reasoned that out in her head. Parker would come to believe what he wanted to believe in his own time.
"I know, but it sucks." Parker replied.
"Yeah it does Park. I need you to get ready now. We can't be late like we are every morning." She tugged the covers off of him. She smiled when he got up. His bed head was everywhere. Parker's light brown eyes were shining like Booths.
"I get to go see you at work today!" He exclaimed jumping off the bed. Brennan pulled out his jeans and field trip t-shirt. "Do you have my lunch made?"
"Peanut butter and jelly?" She asked.
"A fruit roll-up?"
"An orange?" She listed.
Parker made a face. "If you lose the orange and add a bag of chips, I would have the best lunch ever." Parker said trying to get out of the fruit.
"Try again. Get finished getting ready. Your Pop-tarts are on the table next to my coffee. We have to get going!"
- - - - - - - - - -
Brennan pulled her Mercedes SUV into the garage of the Jeffersonian. They had decided to meet his class at the Jeffersonian. She unstrapped Parker from his booster seat and ran with him into the building. They were 15 minutes late.
The security guard smiled and he saw his favorite coworker run into the building. "Artie, how late are we?" Parker screeched.
"The kids are lining up now to go into the lab." Artie answered handing Parker his security card and then another name tag identifying him as a camper. Parker ran down the hall.
"Parker - you forgot your lunch." Brennan called after him. She shook the brown paper bag and Parker ran back launching himself into Brennan's arms.
"Four o'clock you will come get me." Parker asked in reassurance.
"Four o'clock if I don't get called into the field. If not, Angela will bring you up and tell you what is going on."
"Be careful Bones." Parker whispered into her ear. He didn't want to let go of her. Angela came up behind them.
"Parker, it's time to go. I'll help get you situated. You'll see Bones in an hour during the tour of the lab." Angela told him.
"Okay." He responded. Brennan set him back down after Parker loosened his grip on her. Parker gave her a kiss on the cheek. "I love you Bones." Parker screamed to her as he scampered back to the group of kids waiting in the hall.
- - - - - - - - -
Brennan put her coffee down on her desk and started sorting through the mail that was left in her office. A request to teach at a university in Texas, a dig opportunity, and a chance to go to Africa were among the things that had to be discarded. She looked at the trash pile and sighed. The next thing she knew, she was picking up Brainy Smurf and throwing him across the room. It connected with a picture of Booth and it sent it crashing into the ground. The glass frame shattered into a million pieces.
"Dr. Brennan, we have to start working on your anger management abilities." Dr. Sweets' voice echoed in through the doorway.
"I just filtered through all my mail and had to give up opportunities to go teach, on a dig, and observe a tribal group in Africa. I had to give up my life!" She exclaimed.
"You have a life." Dr. Sweets responded settling in on the couch.
"It's not mine." She sighed again. "My life ended when Booth's life ended. I hate him!" She gasped at the realization.
"Dr. Brennan . . ." Dr. Sweets started. "You and Booth loved each other from the first moment you met. It is realistic to believe that you would be experiencing an extreme amount of heartache, especially on the anniversary of his death. You hate Booth for not being here, you hate him for not being here in your time of despair. It is natural that you feel some kind of hate."
"I just miss him so much." She walked over to the pieces of the broken frame and realized what picture had fallen off the shelf. Their first official picture together. "He should have never went on that undercover mission to catch the arsonist. He should have never gone into the building to save the child!"
It had been a long case for them. Stevens was the last person that the community would have expected to be a drug dealer. He was a good guy, a firefighter, and a local hero. He also had a gambling problem, so to get out of debt he would deal drugs. If the buyers didn't pay up, Stevens would kill them and hide his crime by burning the bodies. Well, one buyer hid their child and when the building went up in flames, Booth had seen the child. He ran in to get him, and the roof collapsed on him. Booth didn't stand a chance. He died two days later.
Brennan was in tears. "Booth wouldn't have been Booth though if he didn't try. He was thirty-five. We had just started our life together. Life isn't supposed to end at thirty-five!" She said wiping the tears away.
Sweets nodded. "Dr. Brennan, Booth wouldn't have wanted you to live life this way. He would want you to really live."
"How do I begin to do that?" She whispered.
"Only you can answer that. I have to go consult on a case now. Are you going to make our next session?"
She nodded and bade him farewell.
Brennan settled at her computer and started getting to answer her emails when a knock came at the door. "Angela, right now isn't a good time." She responded not looking up, she could recognize her friend's knock anytime.
"A delivery boy is here."
"Are you Dr. Brennan?" A delivery boy asked.
"Yes." She got up and walked to the door.
"I need you to sign for this package." Brennan signed hastily and picked up the box.
She grabbed a knife and ripped it open. A small tape recorder was inside with a\ note with Booth's familiar chicken scratch. "Play me." A single rose was attached. She picked it up and sniffed it.
Angela stood next to her. "Well, play it."
She pressed play and held her breath. "Bones, if you are hearing this, then God needed me more now then later. I'm sure I am with him, and I can assure you that yet again, God is not imaginary and Jesus is not a Zombie!" He let out a low chuckle. "I know that you are right now pretty angry at me for not being there. It's been a year. I want you to know that your life is going to now begin again. I want you to breath again. I want you to laugh again. Your life didn't have to end because mine did. I love you. Bones, there is a letter at the bottom of the box. You need to do this for me. I need you to do this for me. You are going to live again." She heard Booth sigh. "Thank you for loving me Bones. Thank you for watching over my son. Please, just learn to love life again."
She picked up the letter in the box. The letter had Forever yours, Love Seeley inscribed on top. She held Angela's hand and started to read his letter to her.