A/N: I sometimes hate my computer so, SO much. I mean, WHY, when I was just finished my chapter, WHY would this stupid machine have to suddenly have this STUPID error and even MS auto recovery couldn't help?! WHY? And you guys would have been so proud of me too. I had the chapter within a week! Finished, typed up. And then my STUPID thing called a computer had to suddenly be stupid. Augh. So, this version probably isn't as good as my original one. For one, it's shorter, and secondly, I think the wording isn't as good as the first one. I hate my computer. SO MUCH. Hope you enjoy and… AND BREAKING DAWN IS COMING OUT TODAY! Come on, cheer with me, guys, CHEER! Unfortunately, I'm getting mine from Amazon and I think it's coming on the 6th? THE SIXTH, I KNOW! Ugh. Ugh.
Disclaimer: I own nothin' that I ain't supposed to own, kay? Kay.
- -Jacob- -
"…she's not here anymore, is she?" Her words hammered into the air, loud and clear, knocking all else out of my mind and reminding me what I had pushed to the back of my mind for the last few months. No, Bella wasn't here, I knew that, but I had not dwelled on that fact, but on the very idea that the leeches had taken her away. I was angry at her for being so gullible, so easily tricked into going with them, but she had had the choice. I knew she had a choice, even if I was fooling myself. I had let myself get carried away in locking memories away and covering them with lies that – now that I've been reminded – were densely woven to make me forget what was true and only remember what I wanted to, even if it was as far from the truth as I could manage. I had been too scared to think about the truth, instead piling on all those woven lies was the only way I could remember and not break down.
What Kara said hurt me, true, but it was reason and I could not just ignore it. I wasn't that ignorant to sense the obvious when presented directly to me. Kara. I stared hard into the ground. The girl herself presented a problem I could not solve, a problem that pained me even to think about. Hadn't I realized that I loved her? But, why had I just gone on hurting her? We were arguing and I wasn't the only one fighting, a voice reminded me in my head.
I willed myself to gain control of myself, to think logically. So, I had fallen in love with her. I should tell her then. But what if she laughs at me, what if she refuses me? My mind flicked back to my memories with Bella. I didn't want my heart to be broken a second time. I didn't know what to do, but what I did know was that I had to come up with a decision right now or else I might not have a chance to do anything in the future. I might just regret that.
Should I tell her now? Or, should I just keep it in?
"Come on, Jacob," Kara's voice pulled me back to the present. "Can we just not argue anymore?"
I didn't want to argue either. But, should I tell her?
"I'm sure you can tell that it's hurting the both of us, right?"
What if my feelings were false?
"Weren't we good friends?"
Yes or no?
"Weren't we having fun together?"
No, I couldn't tell her. I'd just crush the relationship we had. It's already crushed, a voice in my head interjected.
"Can't we just go back to the way we were?"
Could we? Yes, I wanted to say. Yes, yes, yes! We had to.
"No," I replied, surprising myself with the truth in my answer.
For a moment Kara looked at me, absorbing my one-worded answer, as if deciding if I was joking or not. Then, the disbelief and anger seeped into her face. "No?" She sounded strangely emotionless. "Why not?" I couldn't speak, making her decide for herself that I was being stubborn and ignorant of the fact that she was very much hurt by everything I'd done. "What is this about now, huh?" She stood up abruptly and walked to the other side of the room, letting the space between us widen considerably. "I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I don't know what I did to deserve this. Why is everything that I say not good enough for you to forgive me?"
My eyes widened. "No, it's – it's not you."
"It's not me, it's you, Jacob, right?" She laughed weakly. "That sounds exactly what they say in soap operas, except we're just not a couple. Why are you turning this into something big? What is it?" I tried to look in her eyes, but this time it was her who avoided my gaze. Although, I couldn't miss the moisture in her eyes, even with her face turned away from me.
I knew I needed to close the gap I had just made. I needed to be the one to step forward this time, so that I could tell her. "Listen, Kara," my voice was hoarse. I was the one who said no, so I needed to be the one who ended this. Whether it's a happy or sad outcome, I needed to end this.
"I am," She snarled, voice just slightly cracking. Pacing the width of the room, she awaited my answer.
"Can you just let me talk?" I asked, my voice gruff. "Just for a moment?"
Kara stopped and stared at me before spitting out her answer. "Talk." Striding long, angry steps, she reached the sofa and took a seat, gazing at me expectantly.
It was my turn to pace the room. "I really don't know how to start this…" I stopped to take a look at her angry face. Feeling myself back out, I quickly pressed on. "Kara, I… I think I like you."
- -Kara- -
"Kara, I… I think I like you."
My temper flashed away, and I was left with nothing short of shock.
I suddenly couldn't breathe.
I could only stare.
"I think I like you more than a friend way."
My heart stopped beating.
My mind was blank.
I was frozen to the spot.
And with that, everything came crashing over me; where I was, what I was doing and, more importantly, his words. And my breath hitched again. He liked me? Did I even hear that correctly? He loved me! No, wait, he liked me. But more than a friend, I amended. He has feelings for me! I was shocked to say the least, but happy. None of my internal emotions must have shown on my face because Jacob still looked pretty worried.
His head was turned away. "Kara? It's okay if you think it's weird or anything. This doesn't change anything in our relationship – I mean, friendship, okay? I just needed to be clear about my feelings, because it's true. I mean, it won't be the same as before. And, I…" he faltered.
I jumped in. "Jacob," I said softly.
"Yeah?" Jacob seemed so dejected, I had trouble hiding my grin.
"I… I love someone."
His head snapped up to look at my carefully neutral emotion before he dropped his head again. "Oh."
"He's an idiot though," I continued, unable to help a little happiness seep out. "I used to think that he didn't share the same feelings as I did."
"I mean, he was always going on and on about some other girl who wasn't even there!" I let some anger touch my tone. "But, he's the person I love, and I can't help still be there for him."
"Okay," Jacob nodded. He started to back out of the room. "I'll-"
"He's one of my best friends and I can't imagine life without him." He was still nodding, one hand clutching the door frame. "Not now, not ever."
"That's great," his voice was tight. "I, um, should probably-"
"Jacob," I called softly. He froze, still not looking at me.
"Do you want to know who that person is?"
"Well, I, sure, I mean, no, not really, but if you want to tell me?"
I stood up, finally letting the smile show on my face. "I'm sure you'd like to know." I stepped closer and closer to him.
"Do I now?" He looked so pained. His body was already half out of the room.
"Yeah," I nodded.
"Okay, then, who's the guy you love?"
"The idiot that I love so very much," I said, stopping an arm's length away from him, "is…you."
My heart beat twice before Jacob replied. "Okay, him, so, I should go now." He took a step backward before stopping and then looking at me with a horrified expression on his face. My smile just grew wider, if it were even possible. "Wait, what did you say?"
"Hmm," I pretended to ponder for a moment. "Oh, I just happen to forget."
He took two steps toward me, my words going through his mind once more. "Kara…" he warned.
I had to laugh. "What?" I took two steps backward to keep the space between us.
Furrowing his eyebrows, looking adorably frustrated, he stopped, not trusting what his mind was replaying. "Please?"
"What do you think I said?" I asked playfully.
He didn't seem to notice my happy expression. "Me, but that's not possible."
I looked at him incredulously. What? "Why not?" Frowning, he looked at me, and possibly truly looked at me and caught my amused but shocked emotion. "See, you're idiotic, one of my best friends… that's already two criteria filled." His eyes widened and then something finally clicked. He was starting to grin now. "And then adding to that, you're smart-ish, and not too bad in the looks department either." I backed away, seeing a dangerous flash through his eyes.
"Go on," he said, closing the space I was creating until I was backed up to a wall.
"And, well, you're good with cars, you welcomed me, you have a motorcycle that has some cool factor in it. And… I think you get the point that I really am head over heels over you."
"Oh, but that point could do with more facts to support it. I really do need to be convinced."
My eyes narrowed. "Idiot."
"That you happen to like," he said.
"It's a wonder why I like you," I said breathlessly, the closeness of our position finally taking a toll on me.
"Well, there are those things you said…" he said suggestively.
"How 'bout me?" I asked. "What do you like about me?"
"I like the fact that you like me, the idiot."
I smacked him on the head. "Stupid."
"Says the girl who likes me," Jacob smirked.
"I have a feeling this can go on forever."
"Me too." And, we laughed together. "Kara?"
"I'm going to have to get back at you for that trick you just played on me."
A/N: FLUFF! Haha… I think I'm about two-thirds through this story. Thanks for keeping up with it for so long! I love you guys. Thanks for all those reviews. Oh, and just to clarify, the idea of imprinting isn't out of my story, but I'm just not using it between Jacob and Kara. Kapeesh? I hope so. Reviews and constructive criticism is greatly appreciated.