Today, Naruto thought, has been a thoroughly exhausting day.
Indeed, how often does someone fail their academy exam, learn an amazing new jutsu, find out that a blood thirsty fox demon is currently living in his belly, and defeat a chunin traitor to become a full fledged ninja.
"Oh well," the fox faced blonde murmured, yawning widely. "The only easy day was yesterday." He ran a finger lightly over the leaf symbol etched into his headband before letting sleep wash over him.
So naturally he was surprised to awaken in a dungeon like sewer. "What… what is this place?"
"This is your mind, kit." A deep booming voice echoed through the halls.
"Who are you?"
"Come to me if you want to find out." The voice boomed through the darkness.
Naruto got to his feet hastily and stalked through several corridors mumbling about freeloading voices and finally going insane, before coming to a stop before a massive gate with a paper seal. "I'm here, so where are you?"
"Right here, kit." A booming voice chuckled as a figure stalked out of the darkness to glare at him from the other side of the bars.
"Red eyes, pointy ears, and nine tails. What have I done to deserve an audience with the oh so great Kyuubi?" The blonde snarled sarcastically.
"You've got balls, kit!" Kyuubi roared with laughter. "I figured since you know I'm here now, I should set you straight on a few things, and just maybe, we'll be able to come to a… business arrangement."
"An arrangement that frees you to burn Konoha into the ground?" Naruto snorted. "Not gonna happen."
"Oh don't be like that kit! Konoha wasn't even supposed to happen twelve years ago!" The fox shot back.
"You mean to tell me that trampling and killing several thousand shinobi was an accident?" Naruto deadpanned. "I can't wait to hear this explained."
Kyuubi glowered at the youth. "Ugh, such a brat! Here's the deal. I happen to be a seal expert by nature, so when some other demons started dropping off the radar, the most likely thought was that they were being sealed. I was sent to investigate but when I got here, I sensed another tailed beast like myself appear briefly, then vanish again, in what you call Wind Country. So I start hauling ass in that general direction," The fox dipped its head and mumbled something.
"What?" Naruto shouted back, stepping closer to the cage.
"I GOT CARELESS AND SLOPPY AND 'ATTACKED' KONOHA BECAUSE IT WAS IN THE WAY! ALL RIGHT!" The force of the bellow bowled the blonde shinobi back onto his rear. "Grr! This isn't going to work if we keep antagonizing each other."
"Hey, I'm not an… anta… whatever you said!"
"Antagonizing." Kyuubi repeated softly. "It means to deliberately piss someone off. And we've both been doing it. I'm big enough to say I'm sorry."
"You're big-" Naruto cut himself off with a self-reproving grimace. "Sorry. Never gonna get anywhere at this rate."
Kyuubi thought a moment. "Perhaps if we could see eye to eye." Before Naruto could ask, the giant fox began to shrink and shift into a petite redhead girl with green eyes and nine bushy tails waving behind her.
Naruto began to stammer in shock. "You… kawaii… dream… pervert…GIRL!"
Kyuubi stretched as she looked at Naruto. "The girl part usually throws people the most. Come on in, and we'll talk." She smiled sunnily and extended her hand through the bars.
"C-can I do that?"
The redhead nodded. "Your father was genius, but when it came to this seal, he put all his eggs in one basket. Like I said I'm a seal mistress, and I live in a seal, kinda. So basically the modifications I make in here alter the seal and the way it works."
"And you won't… do anything to me, once I'm in there."
"I give you my word as a kitsune and as a Demon Lord, so long as we're together, I won't let anything hurt you if I can help it."
"All right. How do I get in?"
Kyuubi reached into her kimono and pulled out a gold key. "This is a key seal. It's also part of why I need you. You've got a whole body and mind to explore, but I'm stuck here. The seal won't let me use the key, but you can."
"How do I know you won't run straight to my brain and take over or break the seal to escape?" The blonde asked warily.
"Um well… You see, me trying to get out wouldn't accomplish anything but pissing off Shingami sama. You know, big guy, specializes in life and death?" Kyuubi said. "It's his power that actually keeps me here. If I was insane enough to try to get out, we'd die. For good. No reincarnation for you, no crawling back out of hell for me. And I do want to keep breathing fresh air such as it is, so I think I'll just enjoy my unscheduled vacation."
Naruto nodded and took the key from Kyuubi who obligingly pointed him to the lock located just below the paper seal. "So, you said something about," Naruto paused as Kyuubi folded her arms around him. "business arrangements?"
"Tsk tsk, Naruto kun. It's been so long since I've held a man in my arms." Kyuubi nuzzled against his cheek and Naruto had to admit, her hold was not unpleasant. "A moment of pleasure before we get to business, hmm?"
"P-pleasure?" A blushing Naruto stammered, unconsciously imitating a certain pale eyed kunoichi.
"Surely the master of the sexy jutsu knows of the pleasures of man and woman." The foxgirl noticed the blondes blush deepen and the frenzied shaking of his head. "Oh god, you really don't, do you?"
She said with a truly bewildered expression adorning her features.
Naruto's shaking became, if possible, even more frantic. "Not a pervert." He mumbled into Kyuubi's chest.
Kyuubi laughed heartily. "Everyone's a pervert, Naru kun." She stroked his hair and kissed his forehead. "Even me and you. That's where little kitsune and shinobi come from. I mean, it's clear you remember this body of mine."
"I've seen you in my dreams." Naruto agreed. "You were different ages each time, but you always had red hair and green eyes. You did such… interesting things in those dreams. With your clothes on, to boot."
"Then I suppose I'm partly to blame for your pursuit of the pink haired fangirl." Kyuubi mused, as she smiled knowingly. "My preteen form DOES look quite a bit like her. Shame though, you've missed your own fangirl."
"My what?" Naruto perked up, twisting about to look into ancient green eyes.
"All the pieces have always been in front of you, but you've always lacked one critical element to bring them all together." Kyuubi smiled, holding up two slender fingers. "And before you ask, what you've been lacking is knowledge, something my great age has given me in spades. Enjoy my gift to you!"
Before Naruto could react, Kyuubi touched two fingers to his forehead and his world went black.
Our blonde hero blinked slowly as his vision swam fuzzily. "Ky… Kyu chan?" He called weakly
"Oh good! You're awake!" She knelt beside the young shinobi. "These Kage Bunshins of yours are great! Did you know that you get their knowledge when they go poof?"
Naruto grimaced and tried to get up, succeeding only with Kyuubi's assistance. "No I did not know that and what the hell did you do to me?"
"I'll answer that question with one of my own. If you have a girl naked and tied spread eagle to your bedposts with silk scarves, what is the first thing you do when you start to ravage her?" The girl's green eyes twinkled at her perverted pop quiz.
"Depends." Naruto said. "If she's face down then I start by nibbling her ears and then progress down her spine. If she's on her back then I start teasing her feet then I move up her thighs finishing with a long teasing tongue lashing… and how did I know that?"
"My gift to you!" Kyuubi said brightly. "I gave you all the knowledge I have of sex and relationships!"
"Shouldn't having several thousand years of furry porn stuffed into my skull done massive brain damage?" Naruto deadpanned with a flat stare..
"Ah, there's my insubordinate kit!" Kyuubi grinned. "To answer your question, this is why I mentioned shadow clones. I sent a few dozen to get the lay of the land, and nearly half of that to the file room."
"What is the file room?" Naruto asked finally managing to get to his feet under his own power.
"Simply put, a mess." The redhead grimaced. "The file room is the repository of all your conscious knowledge, and even before I dumped all those new files in it was wrecked. I have my clones in there, filing things properly, essentially reorganizing your brain, but it will take some time, maybe a day or two, so don't be surprised if you're forgetful or spacey for a short while."
"Nobody will ever know the difference." Naruto giggled before growing serious. "Kyu chan, they're never gonna let me become Hokage, are they?"
The fox's formerly jubilant manner deflated in seconds. "It's possible given who your father was, but honestly… not very likely."
"That's the second time you mentioned my father. I know I didn't just appear here, so tell me… just who is my father?"
"The only shinobi to hold his own against me in combat," Kyuubi smiled a wistful grin. "Naruto, your father was Namikaze Minato, AKA Konoha's Yellow Flash, AKA…"
"The Fourth Hokage…" Naruto stared dumbfounded. "Are you sure?"
"Your two chakras are like mirror images of each other." Kyuubi confirmed. "Besides, the look in his eyes… He was willing to sacrifice a few, namely you and himself, to stop me from hurting a lot more, but he couldn't very well ask someone to give their child if he wasn't willing to give up his own."
"Yeah I kinda thought that, what with you being inside of me. I still wanna grow strong."
Kyuubi was shocked "To what end, Naruto?"
"I still want people to see me as more than just… you," He said in a voice that made Kyuubi's heart break. "Does that make sense?"
"You're tired of being just the 'Demon brat', is that it?" The fox asked as Naruto nodded. "Of course you are. Who wouldn't be? You know Naruto, I bet if you could confirm who your father was-"
"No." Naruto said firmly. "I will make my own way through my own strength and hard work, not my father's."
"Fair enough." The redhead replied. "Although, what would you do with that power?"
"Well, seems to me I got three choices. I can protect the things I care about."
"You're off to a good start that way, after what you said to Mizuki tonight." Kyuubi mused.
Naruto nodded. "My second choice is to make people fear me."
"Possible." The fox said cautiously. "but not really your style. Your general temperament does not lean towards fear."
"Then that leaves me with the choice of making people respect me for my power." The blonde mused.
"Ah, so if you can't gain respect for yourself, then you want to be respected for what you can do." Kyuubi tapped her chin sagely. "So what will you do, if your dream of Hokage is beyond your grasp?"
"I want to become the strongest shinobi in the Elemental countries." The young shinobi mused. "But… all that power means nothing if I have no one to share it with."
"I think all that 'furry porn' is affecting your brain." Kyuubi teased.
Naruto looked up with no trace of humor in his sparkling blue eyes. "I want to become the greatest lover the world has ever known."
The preteen foxgirl broke out in laughter, but it died away the moment she set her eyes on Naruto's face. "You're really serious. Noting serious face." Kyuubi stared at the blonde intently. "So who's the lucky lady gonna be?"
"I dunno. But realizing now that I have little to no chance of prying Sakura off Sasuke's ass… It's best I took my romantic attentions elsewhere other that abusive pink haired tart." He said with venom.
Kyuubi smiled as her kit realized half of the wisdom her imparted knowledge brought him. "Why don't you get some rest, Naruto? I realize we didn't get to talk about business tonight, but we'll have time another night."
"I guess I have been here a while." Naruto mused. "What will you be doing while I'm gone?"
"Well, you haven't been here that long, since time moves considerably slower in here than it does outside." Kyuubi smiled. "As for me, I have a whole body to explore. We'll see if I can't make you tick a little better. Now go on, get out of here. We'll talk tomorrow night."
Naruto was about to protest when sleep claimed him.
A/N: All right. Time to clear out the audience a little. Kishimoto owns Naruto, not me. Get the lawyers out of here.
Next, this will be a Naruto harem fic. If you don't like them for whatever reason, don't waste your time flaming me. JUST STOP READING. The girls for the harem have already been selected based on the characters I believe I can write most believably. So don't send me reviews asking me to add other girls, because I won't. The girls are:Hinata
Continuing on, Naruto will have a bloodline in this fic. Again, don't like, don't read. Lastly, this will be a slow and almost natural build up, so if you want to see the cast going at it like rabbits every other paragraph, look elsewhere.
However if you like what I've done so far and want to see what else I can do, I'll endeavor to update this every week, or two at the most as my real world schedule permits. As always, reviews are appreciated and flames are laughed at.