Spoilers: Shades of Grey
Warnings : nothing really.
Italics: indicates emphasis
I don't own anything associated with Stargate SG-1. Everything belongs to MGM and all the others!..
This story is not betaed so all errors are mine.
Sitting alone on the floor in the corner, she could hardly keep the tears at bay.
He was gone. He had said the most awful things.
He was gone, he said he was going back to her. Back to Edora. Back to Lara.
Suddenly the gate activates "Unscheduled Offworld activation" blares over the speakers.
As he steps through the event horizon, Jack breathes a sigh of relief. He didn't realise how nervous he was about coming home. He felt bad about the things he'd said. Said to all of them, but mainly about the things he said to her. He knew he'd hurt her. Hurt her in a way that they may never be able to recover from.
He told her "It was all an act. We had to get the technology back. We had to find out who it was".
She told him they were good. He did what he had to do. But that didn't stop the hurt. The things he said had cut her deep. Reminding her of the time she had wasted trying to rescue him from Edora, only to see that he had been with her. Couldn't he see why she worked so hard, she hardly slept until they were able to get him home. And then he said those things. Said that's he hadn't been himself since he met her.
Later, alone in the locker room, as the tears spilt from her eyes she thought about it. Sitting there on the bench, lost in thought, she didn't hear him until he was standing behind her. She'd been crying and he really felt like a heel. How could he have said those things and not explain the true meaning behind them? Not everything he'd said to her was a lie. Some of the things he said, he meant, it was just the way he said them that he made them sound hurtful.
"Carter, I just wanted to apologise about those things I said to you the other day. You know it was just keeping my cover intact. Undercover, you know what it's like. You have to convince everybody."
"I know Sir, It's Ok."
"No Sam, its not, I know I hurt you and I'm sorry."
"Really.. Sir. We're good. You don't have to apologise."
"Yes I do. I could never go back to Edora. I could never go back to her. I don't love her."
"You don't have to explain yourself Sir."
"Carter, just let me finish. It really cut me up having to say those things to you and then coming back and facing you again, knowing how much I hurt you. How much I hurt Danny and Teal'c. I wanted to tell you how it made me feel. It's true I haven't been myself since I met you. I've become a better man. You've made me feel again and I just wanted to thank you for that. I know that we can't do anything about it at the moment, but I just wanted you to know, I care about you a whole lot more than I should…. I just thought you should know."
As he sat down next to her, she replied as she rested her head on his shoulder. "I know Sir, I do too. I'm sorry too, sorry that we can't do anything about it."
Lifing his arm and encircling her shoulder he sighed as he replied "Me too Carter, me too, but I promise you. One day it will be our day and I just hope that we can hold on until then."
"So do I Jack."
I may continue on in this vein. Tag significant episodes that epitomise the dilemma that is Jack and Sam.