TITLE: What Makes a
SUMMARY: Missing moment between Danny and Lindsay.
SPOILERS: 4x10 "The Thing about Heroes"
RATING: T. They behave this time (sorry), but there's some bad language.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything, blah blah blah. If I did own them, you would know they were dating.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: You all know my feelings on the matter. No D/L a very angry Sugah.
This scene would take place before Lindsay and Hawkes go to autopsy.
What Makes a Hero
Danny was shaking. And he didn't shake. His hands were trembling so much that it was damn near impossible to do his work. He kept fumbling with his camera and dropping his print brush, silently cursing himself each time, as he was rewarded with more than one raised eyebrow at his sloppiness. He didn't exactly care what the patrol guys thought of him and his work ethic, probably because he wasn't thinking of them. His mind wasn't exactly on fingerprints and trace, either. It was on the fact that if he had been a split second later with his rock to the power box, the woman he loved more than anything in the world – and the others – would have been seriously injured, possibly even killed, in a subway accident.
And he hadn't even been afforded the opportunity of checking on Lindsay. The patrol officer had radioed him to let him know that the train had stopped, and Danny had bolted back to the platform. He and Lindsay were trying to keep things professional at work. Everyone knew about their relationship, naturally – they would have to be stupid not to – and Danny had endured his fair share of ribbing at the start of it, mostly from Flack. But he and Lindsay had both agreed that it would be best not to let their relationship interfere with their jobs.
Unfortunately, days like today took that agreement and shot it all to hell. He didn't give a flying fuck about what Lindsay thought was proper behavior during working hours. Her life had been in danger, he hadn't been there with her, and as soon as he saw her, he was going to make damn certain that she was really fine. To hell with whoever might be watching.
However, his plans went south when he arrived at the 34th Street station and found only Stella. He started asking, "Are you all right?" as soon as he hit the bottom of the stairs, and it wasn't until he was standing in front of Stella that he realized she wasn't Lindsay. He had simply expected her to be there.
Stella had sent Lindsay and Hawkes back to the lab to start processing what little evidence they had, and she was about to join them. It was Danny's job to finish with the scene – a job he did not appreciate, especially considering the circumstances.
He tried calling Lindsay several times, thankful that she was on speed dial, because he didn't think his fingers could properly punch in her number, but she didn't pick up. Whether that was because she was busy with the evidence or simply away from her phone, he didn't particularly care. He needed to hear her voice soon, or he was going to go crazy. He forced himself to focus on his work and set about finishing as soon as possible.
He wondered if it had been like this for her, while he was trapped in that warehouse and she'd been forced to stand outside and wait for news if he was all right. Granted, her scare had been much briefer than his, her ordeal no less dramatic but having much less dire consequences. It must have been worse for her, because she had been unable to do anything except stand there, whereas he was able to take a more active role in her rescue, racing down the subway tunnel like Bruce Willis or Sylvester Stallone might do. He felt he could finally appreciate the way she mothered him afterwards, the way she seemed afraid to let him out of her sight, the way she was constantly checking up on him, asking if he was all right. As soon as her saw her, he was going to hold her to him and never let go.
When he got back to the lab, he all but dumped the evidence he had collected on Stella's desk and immediately set about finding Lindsay, but Stella thwarted him once again. She followed him out into the hallway and told him that she wanted him to help Adam with the mp3 player he had recovered from the power box. Danny had to bite his lip to keep from pouting but couldn't stop the remark that escaped his lips.
"Am I allowed to take a piss first?"
Stella narrowed her eyes at him. "You are," she said, almost grunting. "You aren't allowed to speak to me in that tone."
Danny sighed in exasperation and rubbed the back of his neck. "Sorry," he mumbled, only half meaning it. He wasn't angry with Stella – not really. He was on the clock, after all, and his first responsibility was to the lab. Or at least, it should have been. But the truth was, no matter where he was or what he was doing, his first responsibility – his first instinct – was to Lindsay. She was his everything, and until he saw her with his own eyes, the ache in his chest was going to be there. "I'll get on the mp3 player as soon as I get back from the, ah, bathroom."
He turned on his heel and started down the hallway, thanking every deity he could think of that his and Lindsay's office just happened to be located in the same area as the bathroom.
He glanced over his shoulder at Stella, who stood with her arms folded. She seemed to be trying very hard not to smile.
"Tell Lindsay to go over the photos once she's done in trace."
He didn't respond to that. But he did change direction and head for the trace lab. His eyes found Lindsay immediately, and his breath caught in his throat, his heart pounded in his ears. He stopped just outside, lightly pressing his fingers against the glass, and watched her as she worked. She was bent over a microscope, her hair falling in her face. She reached up automatically to tuck the errant strands behind her ear, and his fingers itched to do the same. He found himself unable to move, to blink, or even breathe. He knew, of course, that she was all right, but knowing that and seeing it with his own eyes were two very different things.
She glanced up then, and caught him staring. He didn't look away, not at all embarrassed that he was practically ogling her in the middle of the lab. The look she gave him, it was the same look she had given him after he got back from searching for buried treasure with Hawkes – the look that made plain exactly how she felt about him. She blushed, smiling shyly, and set her eyes back on her task, but he could tell from the way her stance suddenly shifted that she was no longer focused on the slide under the microscope.
He did his best not to draw attention to himself as he made his way to the table where Lindsay was currently working, but it was extremely difficult. He saw her body stiffen and knew she was trying to exercise the same restraint as he came up to stand directly beside her, no more than a hair's breadth separating them.
"Stella, uh…" He coughed, his voice failing him as he breathed in that scent of lavender and soap and vanilla that was Lindsay's shampoo. He didn't let himself touch her. If he touched her, even a little, he wouldn't be able to stop. And as much as he knew the others didn't mind that they were together, somehow he didn't think they would want to see how intimate they were first hand.
Danny tried again, after clearing his throat liberally. "Stella wants you to, uh, take a look at…"
He lost his inner battle. He couldn't take it anymore. He stepped behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist, and pulled her against his chest. He buried his face in the crook of her neck, breathing her in, feeling his eyes sting with the tears he was too much of a man to shed. She turned in his arms, throwing hers around his neck, burrowing into his chest and clutching him like she thought he might vanish if she let go.
"Are you all right?" he asked, his voice low, though he didn't know why he bothered. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and gently ran his hands down her back.
"Better now," she murmured. "I've had worse subway rides." Her tone was light, but he could tell that she was just putting up a brave front, the way that he did when he was scared.
One of his hands left her back to thread in her hair. "I'm sorry I wasn't there with you."
She pulled away slightly to touch his jaw. "Oh, sure. You only saved mine and everyone else's lives. I can see why you're apologizing. Makes total sense."
He rested his forehead against hers. "I threw a rock at a power box, Linds. Stop acting like I'm some big hero."
"You are," she whispered emphatically, clutching the front of his shirt.
"I'm not, though. When I was watching the train pull away with you on it, all I could think about was that I couldn't lose you. Not now. Not after everything we went through to get this far. And when I was running down the tunnel, I was only thinking about you – saving your life, getting you out of there, seeing you again, touching you, holding you. I didn't even think about anyone else until I saw Stella on the platform. And even after, I just needed to know that you were safe. I'm a selfish bastard, Lindsay."
He couldn't meet her gaze, not when she was looking at him like that. He couldn't handle when she looked at him like that. The last time she'd done it he'd brushed off her concern, but he just couldn't do it this time. Maybe it was because it was her life that had been in danger, and not his. He didn't care what happened to him, but he didn't think he would be able to survive without Lindsay.
Lindsay's gentle touch turned suddenly firm, as she held his chin in place so that he would be forced to look her in the eye. "Now listen here, Messer. I don't know your definition on what makes a hero, but I would certainly think racing off down a subway tunnel and doing everything in your power to stop a speeding train pretty much makes you one, regardless of your intentions. I'm allowed to have a hero, and it's my choice, and I pick you, so stop acting like you didn't do anything and tell me you love me."
Danny couldn't help but smile. He really loved when Lindsay ordered him around like that. He had always admired her confidence and the way she stood her ground. It never failed to turn him on when she took control. "I love you," he murmured, pressing a chaste kiss to her lips and forcing himself to pull away before either one of them deepened it. "And not just because you told me to say that."
She smiled and rested her head against his chest once more. "I love you, too."
He allowed himself another moment's indulgence before he reluctantly released her. He didn't want to let her go – ever – but they were at work, and they had a job to do. Someone was after Mac, and that someone obviously wanted one of them dead. He was going to catch the bastard before something more serious happened to Lindsay or the others, because this guy was obviously not going to stop. Danny wasn't going to let him put Lindsay's life at risk again – not as long as he was still breathing. He glanced around and noticed that everyone else had vacated the room, though he had no idea when that had happened. But he appreciated it.
"I, ah, have to get over to Adam and print that mp3 player," he said, shuffling his feet awkwardly. They were alone in the lab, but he felt like everyone was watching them. He was nervous all of a sudden, like he didn't know how she was going to react.
Lindsay smiled, suddenly shy, and backed away a bit. "Of course. I should get back to work, too."
He stood there, staring at her for another minute. He wanted to commit to memory the way she looked right now, because she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. "I'm glad you're okay," he whispered, reaching out and lightly touching her cheek.
Her smile brightened, her eyes twinkling with that mischievous glint he had come to know and love. "Mmm," she murmured. "Once this guy is behind bars, I'll thank you properly." She winked at him and turned back to the microscope.
Danny really, really hoped he found something on that mp3 player.