Author's Note: Ok. So her it goes: I AM SOOO SORRY IT HAS TAKEN SO LONG TO START ON THE ONE SHOTS I PROMISED! PLEASE FORGIVE MEEEEEEE:D Ok, now that that's done and over with, here's the first one!

Jacob POV of course! Des's like 2, or something. Just able to talk somewhat!


"Yes, sweety?" I grunted. I looked over at my baby girl.

She looked so much like her mother it wasn't even funny. Bella had put her hair up in those weird ways that mothers seemed to love. Her pigtails were as close to the top of her head as they would go, and just behind her ears. Her hair was just past her shoulders, and she looked angelic.

"Why aur you cutting wud?" She started to twist a strand of her hair around and around. "Why don't Mummy?"

"Because, Pup, I'm the man. It's my job to do the hard stuff. I'm cutting wood because she asked me to get some ready for the camping trip in a few weeks. She doesn't want to have to go look through the woods and trip." I wiped the sweat off my forehead, and grabbed the glass she had handed me.

"But that's soooo far away!" she whined.

"Not really, it just seems like a long time to you," I smiled.

She went over to the stacks of logs that I still had to cut, and tried to sit on the stump. She had a little bit of trouble, so I went over to her and picked her up to help her some. But, as soon as I did, she told me, "Eww! Daddy, you stink!"

"Thanks a lot," I mumbled to myself.

"No prablem, Daddy!" She grinned at me, not understanding that I was being sarcastic.

I just sighed, put her on the stump, and walked back over to finish cutting wood. Some things are just wasted on a 2 year old.


Just then her attention went elsewhere- mainly to Angela's van.

Angela, in all her pregnant glory, parked the car, and got out to help Zane out of his booster seat and Donovan out of his baby seat. Zane was around 3 and Donovan just over a year old. As soon as Zane was out of his seat though, he started to run toward Pup as fast as his chubby little legs could carry him---which wasn't that fast.

The whole time he was yelling, "Ree, Ree, Ree, Reeeee!" Over and over again.

But before he could reach her, I scooped him up. "Eww. Jake, you stink!" He plugged his nose. I just sighed, and put him down.

Couldn't I get any love?

Then Bella walked out the house, probably because he could hear Zane's yelling from inside the house.

"Hey Ang!" she said as she wrapped a hand around my waist and kissed my cheek. "Eww, Jacob! You need a shower."


I ignored her comment.

"Come on in!" She unwrapped her hand from around me, and started to walk toward the door.

"My gosh! Donny has gotten so big!" Angela gave the baby to Bella, and followed her. "Jake, can you watch the little ones?" She batted her eyelashes at me.

"Bells, I think I can handle them!" I said, indignant.

"Well then, look behind you."

Zane had hold of the axe, and looked real shaky. I ran up to him, and took it away from him. He didn't like that, and tried to kick me in the shins. I dodged, and he bit me. I shrieked, but before I could catch myself, I yelled, "Fuck!"

And sure enough, the little ones started to copy me.

"Fuck!" giggled Desiree.

"Fuck! Fuck!" screamed Zane.

The little ones ran around the yard screaming the new word they had learned.

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" they yelled together.

Bella and Angela's faces were murderous.

Before World War III could start, I told them, "Don't worry about it! I'll correct them!"

"You better", Bella growled at me. Angela just nodded her head.

"Little ones! Come here!"

They came to me without arguing.

"Yes Daddy?" Des smiled at me. Then added, "Fuck." Zane echoed her.

"Yes Jake?" He grinned at me.

"That's a nasty word. Don't say it again," I told them.

"Why?" they asked me at the same time.

"Because if you do, your toes will fall off if you say it enough!" I made scary eyes at them. They nodded their little heads in fear.

It just goes to show you, when all else fails, lie to little kids.

Author's Note: What do you think? You know you loved it! Review!