Disclaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis.
A/N: Humm… second fic of TezuFuji and it's angst?
Well, the idea was just poke me and I just had to write it down xD
Well, I hope I keep them in character… now, please enjoy
I always watching you
I always thinking of you
And I always cursed myself
For falling in love with you
"You've been acting weird lately, Fuji," Tezuka mentioned it in one cloudy day after practice. They both were left alone in the court, while everyone else had gone to shower and change and go home.
Fuji stiffened for a moment before turning to Tezuka. He put his favorite mask, the 'ever-smiling-face' he used most of the times, especially when he wanted to avoid something.
"Have I?" Fuji asked back.
"Yes you have. I can't tell very well, but I know something's wrong. I feel it," Tezuka affirmed.
Fuji did not say a word. He tried his best to keep the mask on his face steady. Of course, being the tensai that he was, he knew what Tezuka meant. And he's smart enough not to let the captain know what's wrong with him.
It had been some time now since Fuji felt different feelings to Tezuka. He would first looked for Tezuka whenever he arrived at the court. He would be happy by simply watching or being around Tezuka. He had this butterfly in his stomach whenever he heard the captain called his name. He would do anything it took just to keep a conversation with Tezuka. His heart skipped a beat whenever they accidentally made physical contact. And he couldn't stop thinking about Tezuka at his sleepless nights.
Being the tensai that he was, he did not need too long time to realize what he felt to his captain. He was smart enough to know that he was in love.
And he was smart enough to know that it was just… wrong…
And that was why he slowly built a wall between him and Tezuka. He wouldn't make unnecessary contact or conversation with Tezuka. He decreased his frequency to accidentally go home with Tezuka. He was keeping distance whenever they had to be side-by-side.
He was gradually avoiding the captain.
But not being close with Tezuka was surprisingly unbearable for him. That was when he started to make trivial mistakes in his games and stuffs, for he often had his mind wandered around just by catching a glimpse of Tezuka from afar. He was lucky that he was a tensai so he managed to secure his position as a regular in the previous regular placement match. Otherwise, he would have to take of his regular jersey by now and being even more far away from Tezuka.
"Fuji," Tezuka called, and snapped Fuji back to reality. "Is something wrong? Are you having a problem?" Tezuka asked, out of his concern as a captain to a member of his team.
"No, I'm just…" Fuji paused. 'I'm just in love with you', he continued inwardly. Fuji chose not to look at Tezuka and found that his shoelace was a good object to divert his gaze to.
"Is it something you'd rather not tell me?" Tezuka insisted.
'Hell, I really wanted to tell you…' Fuji smiled at the irony of wanting to tell yet wasn't able to do so.
Tezuka studied Fuji's face that looked somewhat… sad. He was sure Fuji had something bothering him and as his captain and his friend, Tezuka was willing to help if there's anything he could do.
Tezuka felt that Fuji was a bit distant lately. He didn't know though, if Fuji was distant only with him or also with the other regulars. But he looked normal around Kikumaru. Then Tezuka thought that could it be it was his fault?
"Fuji, did I do something that upset you?" Tezuka asked again, trying to look straight at Fuji's eyes, but the smaller boy wouldn't look his way. So it was really him?
"No, it's not your fault, Tezuka," Fuji smiled, still avoiding Tezuka's eyes.
'It's my own fault to have fallen in love with you…'
Tezuka started to get impatient. Why wouldn't Fuji look his way? He knew that Fuji liked keeping secrets, but he should just tell him if he was mad at him.
"Fuji, look at me," Tezuka asked.
Fuji did not obey. He did not want to look at Tezuka. He knew Tezuka would see through him if the buchou managed to look into his eyes. And he was scared if his love for Tezuka would be seen through.
"Fuji, look at me" Tezuka repeated, in a more demanding tone.
Fuji still didn't want to look at Tezuka, but he started to get confused. How long would he be able to avoid Tezuka like this? He knew that sooner or later, he would have to face Tezuka. He couldn't keep running away. But was this the right time to let Tezuka know his feelings? What should he do? Should he confess?
Confess… as if he could do that…
"Fuji, I said look at me," Tezuka tried to keep his composure and managed not to yell at Fuji.
Fuji sighed. "Fine," he replied, almost unheard as it was more like a whisper. Fuji looked at Tezuka with opened eyes. He would never able to confess to Tezuka through words, so he would let Tezuka know through his eyes.
Tezuka looked deep into Fuji's eyes. He felt something different in the way Fuji looked at him.
Respect? Scratch that.
Admiration? Not that either.
Then, a realization dawned in Tezuka's eyes as he finally understood what Fuji's eyes were saying.
It was love.
Fuji was in love… with him.
So that's why the tensai was keeping distance with him. That's why he would rather not tell Tezuka. Because Tezuka knew that Fuji must've known that it was just… wrong…
Fuji noticed the change in Tezuka's expression, and also noticed that he wasn't very happy upon realizing his feelings. Fuji sighed and smiled as he closed his eyes in defeat.
'THAT is my problem, Tezuka…' Tezuka somehow could read that from Fuji's not-so-sincere smiling face.
"Fuji… we're friends, right?" Tezuka said upon not knowing what else to say.
He knew his words would hurt Fuji, but he thought that was better than saying nothing and pretending not know anything… or worse, having to reject Fuji if he managed to confess. Tezuka couldn't bear the thought of having to reject his good friend directly. It would hurt too much for Fuji… and for him too.
Fuji stunned at Tezuka's words. He had rejected before he could confess? Well, maybe that's better than having Tezuka saying sorry as he turned him down. Being directly rejected might be too much for him.
Friends… sure, they were friends. Good friends. And friends would remain friends. Nothing more, nothing less.
Fuji smirked even if his inside was tearing apart. "Of course. We're friends," Fuji replied with a reassuring smile.
He knew that Tezuka was hurt for hurting him, and he wouldn't want that. If his love for Tezuka would only hurt both of them, he would rather stop loving Tezuka and return as good friends as they were supposed to be.
"We will always be friends, Tezuka," Fuji stated firmly. And with that one last smile, he patted Tezuka's shoulder, and then turned around and walked away, leaving Tezuka lost in his thought.
As Fuji walked out of the court, the rain started pouring. It wasn't a really heavy rain, though.
Funny, Fuji thought. This scene was like those sappy romance movies he would sometime watch with his sister. But he didn't hate it. He was glad actually, that the rain poured down.
For rain would disguise his now-flowing tears.
A/N: So.. how was it? Actually I'm not really comfortable with the final sentence, but I didn't know what more to write
I don't know if I'm good enough at writing angst, so constructive reviews would be loved, thank you!