December first (aka yesterday) was Jonathan Coulton's birthday. So I have made this holiday piece as a celebration.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Chiron Beta Prime, or Danny Phantom. Jonathan Coulton and Butch Hartman do respectively. The plot of this story is heavily based on the Chiron Beta Prime video by Mike Spiff. Now that all that legal stuff's out of the way here's the story.


Things can change a whole lot in a year's time. Sam Manson new this very well. After the Disasteriod (AN: I really hate that name, waaaaaay too cheesy) the UN had proposed to make an army of robots to protect from any other natural disaster that Danny Phantom couldn't fix. At first everything was going fine with the robots, but then people started mistreating them. Danny and Tucker had always been mistrusting of our new mechanical guardians. Sam had embraced the plan. After all, with super powered robots protecting the Earth she and Danny could now have plenty of "alone time".

Yet something went wrong. While people disagree, most currently say the robot takeover started when George W. Bush (Who had been miraculously re-elected and who came up with the robot idea) started only making his speeches from a speaker and his voice sounded oddly… robotic. Pretty soon the robots seemed to be guarding everything. They made laws and forced small children to do slave labor. These laws disturbed the citizens of our good ole' world greatly, everyone was sure by then that something was up. It took only a few months to realize what had happened: the robots had taken over. Danny spoke out against them, as suggested by and heavily pressured to of course, by Sam. So when the robot council banished the Fenton's to a small asteroid called Chiron Beta Prime she held herself personally responsible. Once every season the Fenton's were allowed to send a letter, albeit the robots told them exactly what to say. It was late December, almost Christmas time in fact, when Sam went to check the mail. Her heart briefly filled with joy seeing that Danny had sent a letter! She quickly tore it open and began to read…

Season's Greetings,

From the Fentons.

This year has been a little crazy for the Fentons.

You may recall we had some trouble last year.

The robot council had us banished to an asteroid.

Sam felt a twang of guilt in her heart. She knew Danny hadn't deliberately reminded her about that to make her sad… or did he?

That hasn't undermined our holiday cheer.

And we know it's almost Christmas from the marks we make on the wall.

On the asteroid Danny, Jack, Maddie and Jazz cheered as they saw the marks they had been making, one for each day, now spelled "Merry Christmas!"
And that's our favorite time of year.

Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime,
where we're working in a mine for our robot overlords.

When Danny read this aloud to the robots so they could censor anything deemed "inappropriate" the robots began to charge their giant plasma cannon arms, which were now aimed at him.
Did I say overlords? I meant protectors.
Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime.

On every corner there's a giant metal Santa Claus who watches over us with glowing red eyes.
They carry weapons and they know if you've been bad or good.

One of the Santa's saw Mr. Lancer, who also had been forced to work here, pass out from exhaustion after digging for four straight hours.
Not everybody's good but everyone tries.

The Santa nearest to him eye's flashed red and it began to yell "BAD!" Another robot then picked up Lancer and threw him out the airlock onto the bare asteroid which had no atmosphere.
And the rocks outside the airlock exude ammonia-scented snow.
It's like a Winter wonderland.

Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime,
where we're working in a mine for our robot overlords.

Again the robots targeted Danny when he read this to them.
Did I say overlords? I meant protectors.
Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime.

This letter had been written about a week before Sam read it. That week ago, Jack tried to make his escape. Ever since they had first came to Chiron Beta Prime Jack had been digging a tunnel. Whenever it was time to return to their cells he covered it with rocks. Now the tunnel had been finished. And Jack had gone through it. His plan was to get out, make sure it was safe and then liberate the others. Unfortunately as he stepped out into the open sky on the asteroid and did a victory dance, he didn't notice the robots charging their plasma cannons that surrounded him…

That's all the family news that we're allowed to talk about.
We really hope you'll come and visit us soon.
I mean we're literally begging you to visit us.
And make it quick before they
[MESSAGE REDACTED.
Now it's time for Christmas dinner - I think the robots sent us a pie!
You know I love my soylent green.

Sam nearly fainted. She had a pretty good idea what the family news they weren't allowed to talk about was. Meanwhile on the forksaken asteroid Danny, Jazz and Maddie huddled around the pie. The green pie. The green pie that appeared to have Jack's arm sticking out of it.

Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime,
where we're working in a mine for our robot overlords.
Did I say overlords? I meant protectors.
Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime.

Sam re-read the letter several times, not fully able to comprehend what she had just read. The Goth was so absorbed in the letter that she certainly didn't notice the robot walk up to her, with its plasma cannon loaded.


The robots didn't kill Sam. Since Jack is now a pie they needed another laborer on Chiron Beta Prime…

P.S. HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY JoCo! For those (like myself when I first her the song) who don't get the soylent green line: Soylent Green is a movie where there's a new food item that's super popular called "Soylent Green" and it turns out to made from dead people.

P.P.S I oringinally had another scene which I took out because I thought it would be too gross (but mainly because I felt to lazy to add it in.) If you want to know what it was I will pm you with it. Just mention that you want to know in the review.