Numb

Summary: Piper is suffering badly from the loss of her older sister. This is a oneshot, and it's not meant to be emo or anything. So if you just read the first line of the story, then read all the way to the bottom. I realize that Piper would never cut herself, but she had to, to help everyone who is reading this to understand the impact that death can have on a person. Not just myself, but anyone who suffers a loss. I used Piper for this story because her character could relate the most.

The day after Prue's Memorial service

Piper sat on the bathroom floor. A razor in her hand, and tears in her eyes.

She slid it down her arm, wincing at the pain and discomfort it brought her. She watched as the blood formed and came out of the self inflicted wound.

She took notice of how red it is. She always thought red was a stunning color. It symbolized so much in her life. Joy, happiness, love….

Yet this was different. This crimson red symbolized something different. And why was she seeing this color anyways? What possessed her to do such a thing? She was not some teenage girl with an emotional problem. She knew better. She knew it was wrong and that she could potentially hurt herself even more than she already was.

Still, she was doing it anyways. Watching the blood run down he arm smoothly. Feeling the cool, liquid substance touch her warm, fiery skin.

There was a knock on the bathroom door. Piper didn't answer. Then there was another knock, followed by the turning of the doorknob.

Piper didn't even look up as Phoebe entered the room. She was too fascinated. Too captivated by what was happening to her.

"Piper!!" Phoebe screamed and hurriedly grabbed some toilet paper of the roll. She knelt down next to her older sister, who still hadn't given her any eye contact, and she pressed the paper into the wound. She held it in place, and started to cry. "Why? Piper, why did you do this? Why would you do this to yourself?!?" Phoebe was angry, and upset. She didn't know whether to yell at her sister, or to pull her into her arms. Piper was old enough to know that this wasn't a solution to anything. She was Piper, after all. The Piper she knew would never even think about doing this. What had happened to her??

For a minute, the room fell silent. Phoebe instructed Piper to hold the paper over her wound while she searched through the cabinets for something to patch it up with.

"Do you…feel numb?" Piper asked, her voice lower and more shaky then usual.

"What?" Phoebe stopped what she was doing and sat back down on the floor to get to Piper's eye level.

"The pain….the hurt….everything…." She paused. "I don't feel, Phoebe."

Phoebe gave a look of concern. "What do you mean?"

"Prue was here." Piper said. "And now she's not. That's it…." Piper laughed out of her confusion and nervousness. "Aren't I supposed to be feeling something? Anything? Yesterday I was a total wreck, and now…now I'm this person who can't feel. I want to feel Phoebe, but I don't know how to anymore…" Piper's eyes held emptiness within them.

Phoebe placed a hand on Piper's. "Honey, I know. I understand. It's a thing called shock. It's your body's way of dealing with everything that happened."

"…But, the blade…." Piper looked down at the bloody blade on the floor. "It hurt."

Phoebe was scared now. She wasn't fully grasping what Piper was trying to tell her. And it wasn't just the fact that Piper was talking weirdly, she also looked unusual. Her eyes had a glassy kind of look to them. It was actually a frightening thing to see, when normally they were filled with much emotion. "Piper, I don't want to see you doing that again? You can't do this. It won't help you."

"The blade hurt me, Phoebe." Piper ignored her sister. "Prue is dead….and I don't feel anything. My heart doesn't ache, my eyes don't water…" Piper looked down at her bleeding arm. "How could this happen? I'm sure Prue would cry for me…"

Phoebe understood now. The cut was not to intentionally hurt herself, but to bring some feeling back into her body. Piper was empty. No happiness, no joy, no sadness, or weakness. She was empty and she tried to fill herself up with the feeling that she knew should be inside of her.

But shock was a tricky thing. If you stayed in it too long, you'd eventually have a total breakdown. Piper thought that since she felt pain from the cut, and that she didn't feel pain from Prue leaving, that she was guilty somehow. She wasn't thinking clearly. And who would be after what she had been through.

"Oh, sweetie, come here." Phoebe pulled Piper into her arms and squeezed her tight. "Physical and mental pain are two different things." She explained. "One will always hurt you, and the other can go on and off in the pain department."

She pulled back and looked Piper in the eyes. "I know, Piper. Your not alone. I lost her too."

"There are tears in your eyes." Piper pointed out. "If what you just said was true, then why aren't I crying for Prue. Where are my tears? I want so feel something…"

"You will. I promise." Phoebe wiped some tears drops out of her eyes. "Your body knows what you can handle and what you can't. In your own time, you will feel more and more. Your only human, Piper. Yes, you may also be a very powerful witch, but that doesn't take away the fact that you have a heart, and that heart of your has been burdened with a lot of weight."

"And yours too. Don't forget about yourself." Piper reminded her.

Phoebe smiled. "Oh, I never forget about myself." She said. "The world does, after all, revolve around me."

Piper's cold expression turned into a somewhat happy one. She laughed a little, and smiled.

"See?" Phoebe told her. "Your feelings are still there. And Prue, wherever she is right now, knows exactly how you feel about her. She knows more than we could possibly grasp with our minds."

"I just wish she didn't know that yet. I wasn't ready Phoebe."

"I know. Neither was I…."