Title: The Line
Series: Ookiku Furikabutte
Characters/Pairings: jealous!Abe, oblivious!Mihashi, commentary by Nishiura players
Rating: R (for Tajima's dirty mouth)
Beta: whitedestiny1x2 (over on LiveJournal)
Notes: This might be the closest to cracky humor as I'll ever get. Ever. Ohgod, how creative is my title? xD;
Disclaimer: I keep wishing and wishing and maybe I'll get it for Christmas, but at the moment, I do not own Ookiku Furikabutte.
Summary: Abe's not liking Mihashi's fans.
Everyone on the team knew The Line was not to be crossed. Sure, some flirted with it now and then—Mizutani was the worst, he knew just how far he could stick his toe over before Abe threatened to tear his jugular out—but putting both feet over was strictly forbidden and nobody was responsible for lost limbs.
It was like the Great Wall of China, and Abe stood guard up top with a flaming arrow notched and ready to be released if they so much as thought of approaching. The Nishiura baseball players didn't know what violent and gory deaths awaited them on the other side, but they could certainly guess (and they did; Sakaeguchi was best at thinking up unusual—and often bloody—ends).
While the team understood what Off Limits was, the fans didn't, and that usually made things very entertaining after games.
"There he is—Mihashi! Mihashi! Look over here! Will you sign this? Can I take your picture? Oh god, you're so cute!"
This never bothered Abe. …Okay, so it bothered him, but not as much as—
"Oh my god, do you think he has a girlfriend?"
Inside the team, it was a widely known not-so-secret secret that Mihashi was spoken for. Most fans (of the female sort—Abe wasn't sure what he'd do if the males became braver) avoided the girlfriend question. There were others though; others that lacked total control of their tongues and didn't possess one tactful bone in their bodies. These people… Abe didn't like these people. He didn't like them as fans, he didn't like them as classmates, and he most definitely didn't like them as competition (not that he ever thought of them as such).
Of course, Mihashi was oblivious to the blatant flirting. He hunched his shoulders self-consciously, smiled a nervous smile and autographed their paraphernalia. If one fan were too daring (too stupid, Hanai once said), Abe would march in with a convenient metal bat held aloft and a fierce scowl pulling his mouth down.
The smart ones scattered. The not-so-smart ones (Abe disliked how this number continued to grow) backed up a few paces but still clutched tightly to their signed caps and t-shirts. Over The Line, Abe thought, they are way over The Line. And that made him uncomfortable. The Line was not meant to be crossed. Not by anyone (but him, that is. Abe drew The Line after all; he had every right to step over).
It was when Abe appeared at his side that Mihashi usually glanced up from writing his shaky signature. They communicated with their eyes for a few seconds (Izumi had timed it once, 19.7 seconds!), but Mihashi's eyebrows always scrunched up in confusion (cue hysterical fans, "God, I could just eat him alive!") and he continually asked,
"W-what is it, Abe-kun?"
Abe usually growled after this question (Tajima had loudly told him some time ago that growling like that wasn't good for the throat and if he ever wanted to give a proper blowjob, he'd think of Mihashi and not damage his wind pipe) and refused to answer. But he stayed glued to Mihashi's side, and even the not-so-smart fans learned to keep their distance (Especially, Oki noted, after Abe "accidentally" swung at one of them).
The fans didn't seem to catch onto the pattern. They still swarmed around Mihashi, they still feared (well, mostly feared) Abe, and they still almost got their heads knocked off by the jealous catcher. Those on the team were just waiting for the day when Abe would snap and really commit bloody murder (Am I the only one afraid? asked Nishihiro).
Turns out they didn't have to wait that long as Abe apparently did not like that some male fans decided it was finally okay to congratulate Mihashi after the game. Abe really, really did not like it when one male thought, hey, this pitcher doesn't need his personal space! And Abe was sure he knew a few good ways to castrate a man (with a rusty knife too—he'd picked that one up from online) when one fan dared to touch Mihashi.
"Is that guy…? Oh no, should we maybe stop Abe? He can't play baseball if he's in jail." Suyama received no answer.
"Hey—what're you, let me go—I didn't do anything! Ooof!"
"Come with me." And they disappeared into the locker rooms.
"Is that safe? Will Mihashi be safe? What's Abe going to do?"
"Don't answer that, Tajima."
"…That guy's alive right?" Only silence met Suyama's question.
The Line was never crossed again.