Summary: Lily needs a day off, so she leaves Sirius and James to watch Harry.
Disclaimer: Jo owns it, I swear.
Lungs Like His Mother
a Siriusly Klutzy story.
My wife, in one word, is beautiful. Now, most guys will say that about their wives, but they're all liars. Mine is the best and the beautifulest. She gave birth to our son, Harry, four months ago. He's the perfect mixture with her eyes and my features, making him the best looking child on the planet. I'll admit, he can be a handful sometimes, but he's a good kid. Really.
I'd just gotten home one night from work and was about to read the Daily Prophet.
"James," Lily said to me. She walked into the living room with Harry on her hip. He was drooling happily, one hand clutched in her hair, pulling it rather hard by the looks of it, and the other in his mouth. He pulled the hand out of his mouth and grabbed Lily's nose. "James, please take Harry. I need the rest of the day off."
Because I'm at work most of the day, Lily stays home with Harry for their Mummy/Harry time. Daddy/Harry time comes after the paper. It normally involves changing a fair amount of diapers, playing, giving him a bottle, playing some more, and then putting him to bed.
"Sure, love," I said. I put my paper down and walked over to get the slimy Harry. Before I grabbed the baby, I kissed Lily on her drool covered cheek (courtesy of Harry, of course). "Just let me floo Sirius."
Harry cooed happily at Sirius's name. Despite the fact that the first time Sirius held him and he ended up levitating upside down, Harry loved Sirius. (Lily claimed that he ended upside down because he inherited my big head. I told her that this post-pregnancy thing left her insane for I never had a big head. I had to sleep on the couch that night.)
I flooed to Sirius's place and grabbed him by the scuff of his robes, claiming we had a mission. He grinned and said, "Does it involve girls in skimpy clothing?"
I rolled my eyes. He still forgets the fact that I'm a happily married man.
"No. We have to watch Harry."
This seemed to be just as good for he flooed back to my place.
Lily was sitting cross-legged on the ground playing with Harry. Her hair was still a mess from Harry pulling it and there were wet spots of drool on her shirt.
"I phoned Alice, we're going to go shopping and stay out late," Lily said with a smile. She hadn't had a night out with just her and Alice in a long time. They were both pregnant at the same time, so they shared those qualities. But really, what can two pregnant women do?
"Shopping? I thought you said it didn't involve girls in skimpy clothing," Sirius whispered to, wiggling his eyebrows.
"Shut up," I said, stomping on his foot.
Lily looked at us curiously but said nothing.
"I'm just going to change and then I was going to apparate over. Thanks so much, James," she pecked me on the cheek, which still to this day makes my stomach turn. "And you, too Sirius." She stood on tiptoe and hugged him.
Sirius held out the bottom of his shirt. "Errghh." There were faint drool spots on his shirt as well.
We both looked down at the drooling baby who was laying there happily on his blanket.
"Now what?" Sirius asked. He sat down on the couch.
I shrugged. "We wait."
"Bye James! Sirius! Thanks again!" Lily called from upstairs before a crack! was heard.
Harry was holding his stuffed dog, (bigger than your average dog, kind of scruffy, and black. A gift from Sirius.) named Snuffles. One of the ears was drenched with drool.
"Poor Snuffles," Sirius commented, shaking his head pathetically at the soaked dog.
Harry sucked on the ear a bit more before dropping it next to him. His lower lip jutted out and a single tear appeared in his eye. Quickly, Sirius and I exchanged looks.
"Harry," I said quietly. "Harry, don't cry. Daddy's here! And he brought Snuffles!" I held up the wet dog.
Sirius knelt down next to me. "Uncle Sirius is here too!" He stuck his tongue out at Harry, but that was the trigger. Harry let out a monstrous wail, causing both Sirius and I to cover our ears. He's definitely got his mother's lung power.
"What do we do?" I yelled over Harry, looking at Sirius desperately.
"I don't know! You're the father!"
He had a point.
I scooped up Harry and tried to quiet him down.
"What normally makes him stop?" Sirius asked after five minutes of screaming.
"I don't know! A bottle?" Sirius dashed off to the kitchen and emerged with a full bottle. I took it from him and placed it in Harry's open mouth. He whimpered for a second before he sucked happily on it. His green eyes looked up at me like I was God.
Or just the man who gives him food.
Within ten minutes that thing was sucked dry.
I handed Harry to Sirius and went to wash the bottle. When I got back to the living room, Sirius was lying on the floor and on his head was Harry, who had clumps of Sirius's hair in his hand and mouth. Sirius looked mortified.
"James, your baby is eating me," Sirius whispered. Harry giggled happily and brought his tiny fist down on Sirius's forehead. I couldn't help but laugh at how my four month old son was beating up my twenty one year old mate. "And he smells!"
I raised an eyebrow at Sirius and picked Harry up off of him. "Like what?"
I sniffed my son.
"Diaper change," I said, carrying Harry (who was drooling like a faucet all over my ear) into his room and placing him on the changing table, Sirius at my tail.
I took off Harry's pants when I realized that I forgot the diaper. They were on the other side of the room, but I couldn't leave Harry on the table.
"Oi, Padfoot," I said, turning towards him. "Hand me one of those diapers?"
Sirius walked to the other side of the room and pulled a diaper out of the bag. He threw it to me Frisbee style and it hit me in the face.
Being the mature one, I kept it and changed Harry's diaper. I took the dirty one and rolled it up, then chucked it at Sirius's head.
"Ew," Sirius said. He picked up the diaper and threw it back at me.
"Stop!" I threw it back.
"Gross! It's heavy!"
"It's filled with piss! Of course it's going to be heavy!"
After Sirius finally set the diaper on fire (and then put it out) we stopped having our war and brought Harry back into the living room.
When Harry saw that we were back in the living room, he started to whimper. (He liked his room, it was blue.) Sirius and I exchanged looks again, and Sirius darted off to the Kitchen to make another bottle. By the time the bottle was finished warming up, Harry was screaming at the top of his lungs once more. Quickly, I gave him the bottle and he stopped screaming.
Ten minutes later, the bottle was half empty and Sirius had spit up on his shirt.
Every time he started to whimper, Sirius would grab a new bottle, and I would feed Harry. This went on for three hours, with two more diaper changes. Sirius learned that it wasn't a good idea to hold him above your head after he downed half a bottle. The situation was hysterical, so I took pictures and planned on sending them to Marlene, Remus, Peter, and the Longbottoms.
"Is it healthy," Sirius asked around eleven o'clock as he took off his shirt. I tossed him one of mine. "Is it healthy to feed him every time he cries."
"It's healthy for my hearing."
"We ran out of bottles."
"That's not good."
Harry, who was still not asleep, was smiling at Sirius's shirt on the floor. I picked it up and gave it to him and he sucked happily on Sirius's sleeve.
"Thanks, James," Sirius said, looking down at my son.
When Harry realized that the shirt, in fact, was much more fun to drool on when it was on Sirius then not, he started to cry.
"We're out of bottles," I said to Sirius who looked horrified.
"What do we do?" Sirius asked.
"Quick." I pointed to the ground where one of Harry's toy trains was lying. "Give me that train!"
Sirius looked at it skeptically but handed the train over anyway. I put the front end in Harry's hands and he put it in his mouth, quieting him down. After a minute or two, Harry drifted off to sleep.
I looked at Sirius who sighed with relief.
"James? Sirius? Where are you?" Lily called from the living room. She walked in, looking fantastic as always. She was shedding her coat when she saw us. "What are you doing in-?" She looked down at our sleeping child. "Why is Harry sucking on a train?"
Sirius grinned. "We ran out of bottles." I elbowed him in the stomach.
"He likes it."
A/n: Okay, so technically I met my goal of 30 out of 30, but I'm definitely upping it to a goal of 35.
This one is kind of long, and random, and it might end quickly, but it's based on my experience of the day. We got a snow day and I had to babysit. Every time I gave her a bottle, she would stop crying, so that's where the bottle thing came from. She never sucked on a train, though. That was purely Terese.
Um, I hope you liked it. Review! You guys rock.
Much love and earplugs if you've got a loud sibling and if you don't, you can have a marauder (I'm losing my creativity here, sorry :P),