The Incredible You

Dedicated to my BFF, Emiggax, for this delicious piece of genius.

Disclaimer: I do not own.

Chapter 1: America's Top Model


"A little more to the left, Yuu… Perfect!"

Flash, Flash

"Now flex those arms! Sexy, please!"

Flash, Flash

"Are you even trying? C'mon, work it!"


"Only a few pictures left! Now run your fingers up your stomach… Oh yeah, that's great!"

Flash, Flash, Flash

"If I were to look up sexy in the dictionary right now, your face would be the fucking picture!"

"Why don't you shut the fuck up and let me fucking pose?!" the eighteen-year-old roared.

Lavi smirked. "Oh, but you aren't at the top of your game, Yuu-bear!" he cooed, snapping another picture at random. Yuu Kanda growled at the redhead and made choking motions with his hands. Lavi dodged skillfully, snapping pictures at random intervals while Kanda tried to attack him.

Yuu Kanda was a model of Japanese descent and eighteen years of age. He was the best model in America. In fact, the best of the best, to be specific. Kanda was so sexy that the one time he ate a chili cheeseburger in public; people had fainting spells just watching the chili, melted cheese, and ketchup dribble down his chin uncontrollably.

(Kanda never ate a burger in public ever again. He wouldn't admit it, but he was kind of scared of those people who watch him eat. It freaks him the fuck out.)

Lavi was Kanda's (unspoken) favorite photographer and also eighteen-years-old. A bit unorthodox, but he was in fact the best in the business. You could've been doing something disgusting, like playing in the mud, and he would've still managed to make you look so good that mud playing would be a national pastime for any who saw your face.

(It is rumored that Lavi was the inventor of mud-wrestling, but no one really knows.)

"How many times have I told you not to call me that?!" the black-haired model snarled. Lavi chortled.

"Today or yesterday?" he teased. Kanda's eye twitched slightly before he gritted his teeth.

"Am I done for today?" he asked tersely. Lavi checked his camera.

"Almost, and tomorrow we'll be working with something a bit new, okay?" he said, scrolling through the pictures with a smile.

"Well, I'm taking a break!" he snapped. Lavi pouted.

"You just took a break, twenty minutes ago!" he whined. Kanda flipped him the middle finger and walked out the studio. He wandered around until he reached his destination, and he ignored the other models as he grabbed a mug and filled it with scorching hot black coffee.

"…and I heard that an actor was coming over today, to pose for that über awesome magazine!" Kanda heard some over-exuberant model whisper loudly. His companion gasped loudly, and covered his mouth with his hands.

"Noway! Which magazine?"

"CURSED, that popular teen mag, you know?"

"Oh…my…GOD! No freakin' way!"


"Oh my God, oh my God, do you know the actor?"

"Yeah, it's--!"

And Kanda couldn't take it anymore.

"Hey, do you guys mind?" he growled. The first model looked at him critically.

"Sweetie, we haven't done a damn thing to you!" he retorted, snapping his fingers in a camp manner. The other model nodded.

"Yeah, nothing to you!"

Kanda rolled his eyes. "I'm trying to drink my fucking coffee, and you fucking fags are fucking gossiping about fucking actors and other fucking fag fagness!"

Model Number 2 looked confused. "Is fagness even a word?"

Model Number 1 blinked. "Actually, I don't think so,"

Kanda snorted. "Damn you guys are stupid; of course it's not a word!"

Model Number 1 looked offended. "Well excuuuuse me!" he spat, cocking his hips to the side and snapping his fingers in Kanda's face.

Kanda dumped the rest of his coffee on that one model's head.

"Don't snap your fingers in my face, fag," he snarled, crushing the cup in his hands. He threw the remains at Model Number 2 and walked off as the man worried over the soaked model.

He walked back into the studio, scowling unhappily. Lavi waved at him from his spot with another man next to him.

"Hey, Yuu-bear!" he called. Kanda stalked over to him, hands posed inchoking action. Lavi chuckled and waved a hand in his defense.

"C'mon Yuu-bear, you wouldn't want to hurt me in front of a witness, would you?" he asked cheekily. Kanda rolled his eyes.

"Actually, I wouldn't really care." And Lavi grinned, jabbing a thumb at the tall, red-haired man next to him. Kanda looked at the man in disinterest, noting one thing that stood out the most about him.

The half-mask on his face made him look creepier than most people would.

"This is Cross Marian, and he'll be joining us today for a photo session."

Cross reached into his pocket and pulled out a cigarette. "I'll be joining you for a month, you mean," he lit the cigarette. "Along with my client, Allen Walker."

Allen Walker, Kanda thought, where had he heard that name before? Either way, this Cross Marian character looked utterly too shady to be trusted.

Lavi smirked, waggling his eyebrows. Chances are that he probably winked, but no one could really tell when you've got one eye. "Be nice, Yuu-bear!"

Kanda wasn't born to be nice.

"Fuck that," he spat. "Why doesn't anyone fucking tell me anything? Ithink it'd be kind of nice to know if someone was coming in, or shit like that!"

The photographer scratched his chin. "…I wanted it to be a surprise?"

"Of course you did, you goofy fucker."

Cross cocked an eyebrow. "Such a dirty mouth for a girly looking boy," he commented.

Kanda stopped.

Everything about him just paused.

Even his hair stopped in motion.

And he turned around, very slowly.

"Repeat," he stated.

Cross snickered. "Ooh, did I strike a nerve, sweetheart?"

Kanda looked at him. "I think I'm going to kill you now," he announced.

Lavi laughed. "No you aren't. You're going to go meet Allen Walker at the entrance and lead him here, then I suggest you find a dark alley and get Cross there!" And he pushed Kanda out the studio, slamming the door behind the black-haired man.

Kanda looked incredulous at the door.

"What…the hell?" he wondered aloud. He made a move towards the stairs and trotted down the ten stories (because activity and exercise was the closet thing to a happy place he could get). When he reached the lobby, he searched around for someone who looked like an 'Allen Walker'.

As he was searching, a hand pulled on his sleeve.


Kanda was much too concentrated to not look away from the entrance.

"Hey, mister,"

He was dedicated like that. It made him an almost admirable person.


Only a few people could dedicate themselves like Kanda. He was, like, the most dedicated dedicating dedicator that ever could dedicate.


"What?" Kanda growled. A boy, younger than him obviously, looked up at him, his blue eyes wide and innocent looking. Kanda subconsciously almost squinted his left eye, due to the painful looking scar on the boy's eye.

Kanda looked closely at the boy.

And then he grabbed the kid's shoulder.

"Someone has lost their child!" he called out. "If you're missing a kid, he's right here!"

The boy wrenched his hand of his shoulder with surprising strength. "I'm not a child!" the kid snapped. "I'm here as a matter of business!"

Kanda snorted a laugh. "Yeah right. You, Shortie?"

The boy scowled. "I'm serious! I'm here for a photo shoot!"

"For what? Kiddy clothes?"

"My manager, Cross Marian, told me to come here!"

Kanda paused in his thoughts. Wasn't Cross that sarcastic fucker who was talking with Lavi? And didn't Lavi send Kanda down here to lead Cross' client to the studio?

"Damn, you must be Allen Walker then."


I feel awkward writing another story when I've got so many more to update, but my friend wanted me to write this.

The idea was so genius that I couldn't pass it up, and now you know.