Christmas Carols As Sung By Peeves

While Filchy Was Outside One Day

(To the tune of While Shepherds Watched)

While Filchy was outside one day
A-prowling in the grounds
Old Peevsie had a game to play
And chaos did abound

Peeves threw some water over him
And made him very wet
And then departed with a grin
It was his best trick yet

You should have heard old Filchy shout
And rage and storm and curse
Please do read on 'cause it's about
To become even worse

Pleased with his trick old Peevsie vowed
To cheese Filch off again
And clattered buckets very loud
And laughed when Filchy came

A-running down the corridor
His mangy cat in tow
Filch told old Peeves he'd gone too far
And said he'd have to go

Peeves pinned a note to Filch's coat
And disappeared from view
And here's what Peeves wrote on the note
Argus Filch stinks of poo!


We All Hate Dolores Umbridge

(To the tune of We Wish You A Merry Christmas)

We all hate Dolores Umbridge
We all hate Dolores Umbridge
We all hate Dolores Umbridge
That ugly old toad

Oh chop off her hair and coat her with mud
We all hate Dolores Umbridge
That ugly old toad

She acts like she's Mrs Perfect
She acts like she's Mrs Perfect
She acts like she's Mrs Perfect
But she's just a bitch

Oh chop off her hair and coat her with mud
We all hate Dolores Umbridge
That ugly old toad

I'm glad she got caught by centaurs
I'm glad she got caught by centaurs
I'm glad she got caught by centaurs
While out in the woods

Oh chop off her hair and coat her with mud
We all hate Dolores Umbridge
That ugly old toad


I Love Dungbombs

(To the tune of Joy To the World)

I love Dungbombs - they're really great
For creating a stink
Just let one off and then you'll see
How much fun they can be
How much fun they can be
How much, how much fun they can be

They drive Filch mad but that will just
Make them seem much more fun
So when you want to play a trick
Go get some Dungbombs quick
Go get some Dungbombs quick
Go get, go get some Dungbombs quick