Third chapter, and I haven't even gotten to the climax yet. But I'm almost there! And I'd like to thank the few, if not only, reader(s) who bothered with my story. THANK YOU. Ok, back to Hermy.

It's six days til Christmas, and we find our young, dentally-obsessed elf and his companion atop a pile of junk.

"… and this is supposed to be a doomsday device you're gonna use to travel to the north pole and take your revenge on the head elf?"

"Mmhmmm! You see, if we place that box here, and fill it with this stuff we found under your bed, it will serve as a base for the cockpit."

"Where's the sofa cushion go, chief?"

" On that bench, I'll need comfort when flying."

" Do I get a cushion?"

" You won't be riding up here."


" You'll be in here."

" HUH?"

" Unless you have a giant hamster to go with your giant hamster wheel, then you'll be powering my flying-mobile."

"I did… couldn't you just get a plane?"

"No, this does other things as well."

"Like what?"

"Never you mind, just lift that television up on top of the refrigerator."

"Is that mine?!"

" Yup. Now lift!"

Among much grunting and bathroom breaks, Hermy and CTLLC put together the assortment of the boys possessions into what resembled a mini submarine, with a bunch of blinking lights on top. And at that point, the boy( who did most of the work) collapsed.

" Damn it! Now I'll have to postpone the hostile takeover of the north pole for another day! I can't go without my hamst-, ahem, friend. He's the power source for my death ray, I can't take down the big guy by myself…"

Speaking of Saint Nick…

Rudolph and Santa were flying over Cape Horn, and running out of time.

"How are we supposed to find one petit, colorfully dressed weirdo with no idea in the world where he is!" moaned Rudolph. The reindeer was losing his enthusiasm for the quest.

" Weren't you just going on and on about how much you wanted to find your freak friend yesterday? Where's your Christmas spirit!" retorted Chris Kringle.

" Where's your ho-ho-ho? And did you ever stop to consider that maybe he's happier where he is? Maybe, he's working as a dentist on the outskirts of Massachusetts? Stuff that idea down your stocking!"

" You're not a happy reindeer. And I thought about him turning into a vengeful elf with some sort of doomsday device. I thought the urgency of the situation called for immediate action."

" I should leave you here and fly home myself."

" Be my guest, I don't need your bad mood anyway."


" …You're still here I see."

"One day I'll just walk out, see where you are without me."

"Obviously that's not today. Now onward! We have a lot of ground to cover." The reindeer and the fat man proceeded on, coming closer and closer to North America…

CTLLC slept soundly, blissfully unaware of his little companion's plans for Christmas, and himself. Actually, he was dreaming of an open window, and a tower, and a corridor. If you've got a dream dictionary, please alert us as to the meaning of this. Back to our story.

The elf paced up and down the now-empty living room, muttering last minute preparations to himself. Every now and then he would realize that he'd forgotten something and rush off to fetch it. Several hours later, all the Christmas decorations were torn down, most of the furniture was stapled together to form the machine in the garage, and the boy was propped up on a pile of left-over cushions, while he slept off his exhaustion from building the doomsday machine. Everything was set for tomorrow.

" Bring that crate over here!"

" That should be set on 'high', not 'med.'. Get out of the way!"

"Where's Winky with my coffee?!"

Santa's workshop was very busy, as the elves crafted last minutes presents at a feverish pace. Tempers were high, and no one wanted to be blamed if a single good child was left without their well-deserved gifts. The head elf especially was under pressure.

" Stop slacking! There's thirteen Portuguese children out there who all asked for teddy bears, so why are there only eleven teddy bears labeled for Portugal? Snap to it!"

There were only five days left to make toys, and all the machines were still had to run on high to get things done. There was precious little time for breaks, and the elves were run ragged from lack of sleep. The head elf understood their plight, but there was no time to be sympathetic. He had to push them to their very limits if he wanted to meet the deadline. And he wasn't about to take the heat from old man Kringle if it wasn't all done.

"Hey Jeremy! Where do you want the rocking horses bound for Spain?"

"There's a shelf behind the dolly bin for them!"

There was a lot of work to do.

It was dawn, and all his plans were about to unfold. Hermy smiled a grim smile, for he was about to accomplish his dream, several days in the making. It was time to wake CTLLC, and get his plans under way.

" Psst! Get up, today's the day!"

" Wassit? Oh! Today…"

And the pair looked out towards the dawn, signaling the beginning of the end of the north pole.

Ok, the end was kinda romantic, but the suspense is working for me. Next chapter coming soon!