I am really mad.
Then again, I'm sure you are all pretty darn furious at me as well... huh...
Ok, heres what happened... After I last updated, I kinda got in trouble for 'neglecting chores' and no more computer for me!! yay... And then I went to visit my dad in Texas. I stayed there the entire summer. Then I came back and I was still grounded. yay... so now I recently got my computer back, but now, its only for a limited amount of time per day so I still won't be able to update very often, but believe me I will try my hardest. And once again I'm sorry!
But whats cool is my step mother is from Thailand and I used to live there but I had forgotten a bunch of the language. But when I go visit my dad and step mom I get to brush up on it again. Yay!
And I'm also sorry that this chapter is so freakin short, but Edward's POV is hard, and I knew you guys would at least want to have something... so, I hope you like it considering all that...
It was the second time I felt helpless in my entire existence.
As I felt her precious blood run down my hungry throat in massive gulps, I knew that I couldn't stop, just like last time. This creature was put on this earth to tempt me, torment me. And I was finally getting what I wanted from it.
I would not stop, could not stop, for anything. This blood tasted so good.
Emmett had done the same thing, so I could not be ashamed afterward. I remember him telling me that there had been two people whose blood called to him in his existence, just like this human's blood called to me. And he had gotten what he wanted from them. I had seen it in his head. This instance was no different, I would handle it just as Emmett did. I would consume every last drop.
Then, I heard the single most beautiful and tortured sound I had ever heard. "Edward." I could barely feel her pathetic grip on my hand. She was weak and getting weaker, and I was the reason for it.
This was an angel. This was Bella. My Bella.
Bella was special to all of us, none of us would be the same without her, and I would not survive at all. She was the very reason for my existence. If I kept drinking from her, I knew in that moment that I would be the cause of both of our deaths.
If anyone had any doubts about where my soul belonged, they would be gone if I kept drinking. I would surely be sent to hell for killing this angel.
So, with a deafening growl, I tore myself away from her tantalizing blood and looked at her eyes. I knew that if I had any chance of controlling myself, it would be if I lost myself in her gorgeous chocolate brown eyes. I knew that I would never see them again. They would be different when she woke up.
"I'm here, Bella," I tried to comfort her. I listened to her heart gravely. Every thump felt like a count down, slowly bringing her closer to the end. Then, came the pain.
I looked deeper into her eyes, past all of the agony, past all the pain, all the hurt, and under it, there was nothing but love and trust. She trusted me with all her heart, and I had almost betrayed that trust. I had just come so close to killing her.
I took comfort in the fact that, when all of this was over, I would no longer be tempted by her blood. She would no longer be in any danger.
She was in pain, but I could tell that she was trying not to show it, trying to hold it in. She was trying to be strong. For me.
Even now, she was so selfless.
"Thank-you," she said softly. It was such a lovely sound, despite the fact that it was drenched in pain. In agony.
"Love, you don't have to be strong," I began to sob.
Then, I realized something. I felt helpless before, when I was drinking her blood. I felt like I couldn't do anything to stop myself. But I know now that I was not helpless. I was greedy. I was selfish. I hadn't wanted to stop.
But now, at this moment, I knew that I was truly helpless. At this moment, when I could do nothing but watch her writhe in pain and know that I was the cause of it. When I could do nothing because I knew that it was what we both wanted. When I could do nothing to take it back because I had already taken too much of her blood. When I knew that I would be too weak to resist killing her if I tasted it again. I knew that I was truly helpless.
Her tears were flowing freely now, her body twitching violently, and she closed her human eyes. I would never see them again.
It was getting worse now, and every move that she made caused me more hurt. She involuntarily curled her toes and balled her hands into fists, and I knew that it was too much for her.
"Carlisle, give her the morphine!" I bellowed, desperate to do anything I could for her. He was in the room immediately with a professional air. But under his carefully constructed mask, I could tell that there was pain as well. Bella's agony hurt us all.
He injected the morphine and turned to me slowly. "That's all we can do now." And we didn't even know if the medication would help at all. But we had to try. Carlisle put his hand on my shoulder comfortingly and left the room.
That was when she screamed. A blood-curdling sound that was somehow still beautiful. Everything about this girl was beautiful, and she was dying. Because of me.
I was helpless...
She was too...
Once again, I am so sorry! I hope you review and I hope none of you have abandonned this story, but I guess I kinda deserve it, huh?
Sam-nam-nah... (That basically means "You get what you get" in Thai lol)