a/n: I've made a few wording changes. I wasn't happy with a few passages and I think I've made them more readable.
Chap 9: The Goodbye
Sarah is in her hotel room straightening up. She is a bundle of nervous energy and is searching for ways to preoccupy herself. Chuck is coming over and it is the first time she has seen him since the Fulcrum attack. In her head, she knows that he is safe from both Fulcrum and the government's termination order. However on a emotional level, she needs to connect with him…to see him…to touch him. She is way past comprised.
Sarah saw the red light flash on her receiver that monitored her surveillance sensors covertly placed along the hallway leading to her hotel room. She had taken a room at the far end of a long hallway where there was little traffic at her hotel. Only people who were speifically visiting her room should be walking along the corridor. She went to the door and looked through the peep hole. She saw Chuck at the door fumbling with an array of take out bags.
Before he could knock, she opened the door. "Thanks Chuck for picking up dinner."
Chuck was puzzled. How did she always know when he was about to arrive at her door? She saw his puzzlement and grinned. It was a game that Chuck and her had been playing for awhile. She absently mused that maybe she would tell him about the sensors soon.
Ignoring his chagrin, Chuck relayed, "No problem. It's the least that I could do considering that you saved Morgan's life." He notices that Sarah was dressed in form fitting jeans and a blue, low cut v-neck t-shirt that showed her ample cleavage.
Chuck's gaze momentary stopped at her cleavage. Catching himself, he swiftly looked up into her face. Their gazes locked. They both knew what he was doing. What he didn't suspect was that she had deliberately dressed to get this reaction from him. She grinned to put him at ease, and ushered him through the door.
"It's my job. But I am happy that Morgan is okay. He's kind of grown on me, even though his behavior was a little less than desirable…."
"Morgan told me about your Buy More encounter." Chuck made an incredulous face.
"He did?" inquired Sarah. She was surprised that Morgan was that forthright.
"Yeah, he is right proud of it. He started to tell me in detail what happened. But to be honest, it was TMI. However, I am surprised you didn't do a spy maneuver and taken him out when he got you lip locked."
Suddenly Sarah's face turned dangerous. It looked almost feral as she contemplated Chuck's remarks.
Worried by her suddenly dangerous expression, Chuck stammered, "Sarah…no…I didn't mean…"
Sarah laughed and started laying out the take-out food on the table. "I was only kidding. What type of food did you get?'
Sarah began exploring the bags of food. Chuck had picked out all her favorites. She knew that he had ade a point of learning her preferences. It was his way of connecting to the 'real' part of her.
"I got take-out from your favorite Japanese restaurant and I got that yucky green tea that you like."
She was touched. She stoped rummaging through the food and fought to hold her composure. His careful regard for her had sparked her earlier need to touch him. She suddenly wanted to wrap herself around him, to prove to herself that he was safe. She knew that she can't do what her body was aching for. Most men see her only sexually. But Chuck, he saw her as a complete person. Or at least he tried, even though he didn't know a single thing about her real identity.
Tension filled the room. She looked up at him and saw his endlessly brown eyes bleeding for her. Words stuck in her throat. There were so many things that she wanted him to know, but she couldn't tell him because it would comprise her mission. She remembered their glorious kiss.
When she thought they both were going to die, she wanted him to know how she felt. When she kissed him, she had no idea how much passion would be awakened. She had meant for their embrace to a wistful goodbye. However the moment their lips met, there was an electrifying spark that traveled between them.
Her body had immediately reacted to their kiss. And when he began to kiss her back, it was like an explosion taking place between them. He had crushed her to his chest so hard, he could feel her nipples harden. It had rocked both of them. Her body had acted of its own accord, making her arch herself even closer so she could grind her breasts even harder against him. She remembered grabbing his collar to pull him into even a deeper kiss. In that moment, Sarah had wanted Chuck with her whole being…..
And just like before, Sarah was poised to grab Chuck for another toe curling encounter. And just like before, Sarah was reacting to a timer placed upon his life. The only difference was that he didn't know about the timer set by his very own government, when they had issued his termination order.
Elated that she was able to have the termination order rescinded, Sarah physically needed to communicate her relief. She wanted to be in Chuck's arms again. She was acutely aware that her bed was close at hand, and if she touched Chuck…it was unlikely that they would be willing to stop.
Sarah professional life had never warred with her personal feeling in such a manner. She stopped kissing Chuck and trembled as her head and body fought for control. Finally she tore herself away from him and turned away.
"Sarah, are you okay? " whispered Chuck. Puzzlement by her demeanor, he gently touched her shoulders and hugged her from behind. It was what she needed. She looked at his hands on her shoulders and felt their warmth. She leaned back into him and reveled in his warmth. It was like a piece of a puzzle that slid into place. She no longer had a choice. Her decision had been made.
Sarah turnd in his arms and grabbed his collar. She pulled his head down and captured his lips with her own. He was hers. She no longer wanted to fight her feelings. Together, they feel so normal and connected. Chuck began to kiss her and she swore that she was in heaven.
Across town, Casey was also in a upbeat mood. The Bartowski situation had been mitigated. Hearing Chuck's termination order had been a difficult moment for him. It did not reconcile with his own moral code. If he had completed the termination order, he knew that it would have taken a chunk of his soul. Besides, if he actually did terminate Chuck, Walker would have gone all "Rambo like" on him, and either he or she would be dead.
Chuck was over at Sarah's tonight, doing God knows what. He didn't even want to think about it. Walker was in some serious trouble with her personal feelings. However, she had maintained her head even when the termination order had been issued. Few of the agents he had worked with over the years had as much professionalism as her. As such, he couldn't really complain about his partner too much.
Since Chuck was gone, he had minimal surveillance duties tonight. He was amusing himself listening to Ellie Bartowski. He liked the female doctor and was listening to her via the bugs that he had placed throughout the Bartowski home. She was baking his favorite type of cookies and he was contemplating a good excuse to knock on Ellie's door. He knew that she would offer him cookies, if he could just come up with a reasonable excuse for stopping by.
Lost in thought, he was startled as he heard a knock on the door. He went to the door and saw that it was Ellie. He relaxed and opened the door. "Yes?"
"Hi Casey. I'm baking cookies and I know you loved them at Thanksgiving. Anyway, I thought I'd be neighborly and bring some over."
Casey was ecstatic. "Thanks Ellie. I owe you one!"
She just smiled and said, "Just looking out for my little brother."
They exchangd goodbyes and he went into his kitchen. Casey poured a glass of milk, so he could chow down on Ellie's cookies. He grabbed a few cookies and decided that he needed to start reviewing some of the surveillance tapes taken at Buy More. He had several tapes that he hadn't reviewed, due to all the craziness with Chuck recently.
He started looking at an after-hour surveillance tape of the Buy More store. There usually was no activity, except when Big Mike had a date. He pushe the fast forward button and began watching the tape in fast forward mode. He grabbed two more cookies and was surprised to see Chuck on the video tape entering the store after hours.
"That's odd." He slowed the tape to normal speed and watched Chuck as he headed into the theatre room. He watched as Chuck grabbed something behind one of stereo systems arranged on the back wall. He puts something into his pocket and proceeded to leave the building. Casey drank some milk and ate two more cookies.
He saw Chuck pass through the Buy More doors. Casey's curiosity was piqued. He changed the tape to view the outside surveillance cameras. Something didn't feel right. Finding the right time in the tape, he began watching Chuck as he got into the Nerd Herder. A few seconds later, he saw Chuck open his car door and roll out of the car onto his hands and knees. He watched as Chuck began to puke beside the car door.
'What the hell?" Casey stopped the tape and used the zoom feature to look inside the car. It's grainy but he saw a DVD player. Casey doesn't understand what had upset Chuck. Then an idea occurred to him. He grabbed the outside of the tape and checked the date.
"Damn it, damn it, damn it. You don't understand Chuck," mumbled Casey. He realized that Chuck thought that Sarah and Casey had orders to kill him. Alarmed, he recognized that he needed to warn Sarah. Chuck could do something stupid and potentially dangerous to Sarah, his feelings impaired partner.
He jumped up and raced across the room to his phone. Half away across the room, his head started to spin wildly.
"Oh hell. The cookies!"
He remembered giving the narcotic, Sweet Dreams, to Chuck. Ellie must have used it to drug him. She did say something about protecting her little brother. He grimaced. He should have caught that.
He had only a few seconds to warn Sarah before the drug rendered him immobile. He lurched to the phone and hit the speed dial.
Sarah had Chuck's shirt off. She had stripped off her t-shirt and was in her bra and jeans. They were kneeling on her bed and she was arched back in his arms. Sarah was enjoying his lips as he planted kisses on her breasts through the sheer fabric of her bra. If he didn't stop fumbling with the bra clasp, she was going to have to take matters into her own hands. With her eyes closed and her head thrown back, she grinned devilishly at her own thoughts.
Her phone rang. He groaned in frustration. "Ignore it."
She reached up to his mouth and began kissing him on the lips. She had no intention of stopping to answer her phone. Her tongue darted into his mouth.
The phone rang again. She recognized the special ringtone. She groaned. "Damn. It's Casey. I have to answer it. It could be about you."
She pulled away from him and got off the bed. She walked to the table and grabbed her tea container. She turned and looked at Chuck who was laying on the bed with his arm draped over his closed eyes. She smiled at his obvious discomfort below the waist.
"Those jeans look awfully uncomfortable. We are going to have fix that," she sexily taunted him. "God, you make me parched," she mused. She gulped down the last of her tea.
Alarmed, he looked up at her. "Sarah, no don't….."
Ignoring his plea, "I have to answer the phone." She put the empty tea container down, and moved to answer the phone.
She picked up the phone. "Code Blue," uttered Casey, just before she heard the phone drop through the receiver. Code Blue meant that Chuck had been comprised and should be considered dangerous. She didn't understand. Chuck couldn't be dangerous.
She turned to look at Chuck and was surprised as the room started to swoon. Suddenly, Chuck was much closer to her than he should be. Warning bells sounded in her head. She lunged for her gun which was in her holster on the bedside table. Chuck grabbed her. She could barely hold her head up. She knew she had been drugged.
"Ssshhh, Sarah. I was trying to tell you not to drink the tea. But maybe this is for the best."
She tried to struggle. "Don't fight it, you'll only hurt yourself. It's Sweet Dreams. I think you're familiar with it." He shifted his hold on her as she became more limp. Finally, when she can no longer stand, he picked her up. He knew that the full force of the drug had started to take control of Sarah's body.
He carried her to the bed and laid her in his lap. He looks down out her. Her eyes were wide. She could hear him but was unable to move.
"Sarah, I'm sorry." He tenderly kissed her on the mouth.
"I don't know what tonight was. It felt so real. But God, I never know what's real and what isn't with you. " He placed his forehead against hers. He closed his eyes, unable to meet her gaze.
"I know you have orders to kill me. I don't know…maybe you were giving me tonight because you were going to have to kill me in the morning or maybe you weren't going to go through with whatever was happening tonight. I just don't know."
He was trembling as he held her. Sarah was aghast. Her heart was breaking over the pain she had caused him. She wanted to hold him and kiss away his doubts about her feelings and her intentions.
He opened his eyes and looked into her eyes. " I had to drug you and Casey. As much as I'm drawn to you Sarah, I also want to live. So I have to run. I know I could never get away from you guys, unless I slowed you down. So it was Sweet Dreams for you and for Casey. "
His gaze dropped to her mouth. " Don't you see….I have to fight back,…even…if its against you.." He kissed her lips in an achingly tender way.
Sarah stared at Chuck as he poured out his soul to her. She couldn't move. A tear falls down the side of her face. She wanted to hold Chuck and comfort him. She had never let herself define her feelings for him. She has always known that she felt possessively towards him and had some lust filled thoughts…but in this breathtaking moment….she knew that she more than cared…she loved him.
"Sarah, I hate this. All these secrets in my brain. I wish it never happened. But if I hadn't…I never would have met you. So how could I ever wish that?"
He strokes her hair and placed her delicately upon the bed.
"I'm running Sarah. I'm not sure how far I'll get. I'm just not ready to die yet."
This scared Sarah. The idea of Chuck, out in the world without her protection, made her heart race. She couldn't let him go. She tried to speak, but it came out as a moan.
He looked at her for a moment. He looked so forlorn. He walked around the bed and picked up her holstered gun. When Chuck picked up her weapon, her heart missed a beat.
Chuck saw that his actions had scared her. He quickly laid the gun on the table near the door and returned to her. "Sarah, I could never hurt you. The gun is for me. It's kind of poetic really. If It looks like I'm going to be captured, I will put a bullet in my head."
She screamed in her head.
"I'm not unpatriotic Sarah. If it comes down to being forced to tell secrets that could hurt a lot of people or killing myself…I swear Sarah that I'll be brave enough to do it. I'll even use the same gun that was supposed to have killed me in the first place. Your gun, Sarah."
So overwrought with emotion, Chuck does not see that Sarah was crying. Tears were streaming down the side of her face. However, the drug continued to keep her body motionless.
He tucked a blanket around her, then whisphered softly, "Before all this craziness started, I think I might have been falling for you. Now…I think the only thing I have left is my imagining what could have been…"
He bent down and wistfully kissed her on the forehead. He mumbled goodbye and walked out the door.
Sarah was barely able to focus, but her last thought before succumbing to sleep, was that she didn't think she could live without him.
Chuck and Ellie walked down the wooden pier. Ellie was crying. Chuck looked like he was about to cry. They stopped in front of a mid-size sailboat. On its stern, the words, 'Last Hurrah' were painted in cursive.
"Mr. Kennedy has really taken good care of Dad's boat," remarked Chuck.
"Yes, he has. He totally understood when I told him about you taking it on a wanderbout to honor Dad's memory. He didn't ask very many questions and the boat is in his name with no connections to us. It should be untraceable."
"Ellie I need to warn you. The government might use sodium penthenol on you; to find out where I've gone."
"I have that covered Chuck. I'll be taking adrenaline. It should counteract the effects of any truth serum. It's lucky that I'm a doctor. Even if they grab me, they will eventually believe that I don't know where you went."
"You won't know where I'm going. It's for your safety. But you will know how I'm traveling and that's still dangerous. So be careful, sis. I love you and I don't want to be responsible for anything bad happening to you."
"I'll be careful and I love you too, Chuck," said Ellie. After a moment of hesitation, she continued, "I think I'll hate Sarah until my dying day."
"Don't hate her. I think I might love her…even though she's supposed to kill me. Ironic eh? My famous Bartowski luck has me in love with my own assassin." Chuck grimaced. He jumped down onto the boat. "I guess it's time to go."
He drank in one last look at Ellie and started untying the boat from the dock. Finally unmoored, he took in a calming breath. He waved to his sister and used the boats' small motor to begin maneuvering out of the marina.
Ellie watched him as he left the safe waters of the harbor. She pondered his last words.
Grimacing, Ellie muttered, "That's why I'll hate Sarah until my dying day."
Ellie turned and walked to her car, while she contemplated her brother and his dangerous flight into the unknown.
Once safely in open waters, Chuck went below deck and returned with a hat. He placed it on his head. The Intersect had miraculously told him the times when the NSA satellites would take photos of the vessels traveling along the coast. Based upon this information, he miraclously assure that the government couldn't get a picture of him.
He realized that he might be more difficult to find than he originally thought. The Intersect had never helped him personally before. But then again, he never really needed its help before.
He sat down and pointed the boat a bit farther out to sea. He was in for a very long journey with only thoughts of a long blond haired spy to keep him company.
Authors note: Sorry about the delay in the two last chapters. I had quite a bit of difficulty in writing about Sarah, who is still quite closed off in the actual tv show. In my first iteration of the ending, Sarah & Chuck did not get together because of her need not be comprised.
However, I realized that they needed to show a part of the emotional & physical relationship prior to his departure. I wasn't quite sure how to do this until I realized that the termination order would bring up all the same feelings that Sarah had prior to the INFAMOUS KISS .
Anyway a few goodbye kisses will help strengthen their relationship for the rollercoaster ahead.
Hopefully, I did all the characters justice in this particular piece of fan fiction.
There is a sequel to this story. I think the sequel will be named, Sarah vs. The Long Flight.
I'll start it in January 2008. I hope you all have a happy holidays. Thanks for reading and the great reviews.