breathless

minna ni hitsuyou to sareru kimi wo iyaseru tatta hitori ni
naritakute sukoshi gaman shi sugita na

I wanted to become the only one who can heal you, who is needed by everyone,
and I've endured it a little too much

--Utada Hikaru, Dareka no negai ga kanau koro


He refuses to accept that the bloody charade of cat and mouse was finally over.

That he finally struck the elongated steel through his skull spilt the betraying blood to mix with the softening earth underneath his feet. That the mangled corpse in front of him--a grotesque image of a splitting smile was on his face--was his brother.

He stands before this ugly moment, a perfect figure of horror. Wings spread, like cursed mottled claws that stretches towards the heavens in desperation. The whites of his eyes are turned into a dark stormy hue like the pouring sky while his irises are scarred crimson full moons adorning the night and he sees all of this, his terrifying reflection when she settles her fresh bottle-green gaze at him.

(A monster.)

He finds it hard to inhale the crisp humid breeze with the lingering metallic copper scent. The pulsing blood rushes through his dilating veins, making his face muscles clench and tense. The air chokes his throat like venom. He suddenly wishes that he never, ever draws anything through his nostrils. That he finally releases that last amount of air that swirls in his hollow lungs before he never moves again and follows his brother like in his childhood his forgotten dreams.

He is furious and seething. He is angry with the gods, angry with his fate and terribly angry at her. Because those damnable gods left him to rot, his perverse fate made him foolish and she was right. This twisted, tiring, his so-called (false) justice.

(Will not make you happy. or me. The both of us. His sardonic mind echoes--repeats endlessly--the words like a taunt.)

His anger becomes an adrenaline that never wears off as she approaches him, with a pensive Sasuke-kun? and trembling pale lips. He does not know why he can distinguish the saline drops from the sky tears that made paths on her dirt-painted cheeks but he needs to run.

Her (surprisingly) translucent hand reaches out to him, and he tentatively steps back and growls, Get the fuck away from me.

But it is futile, because the distance in between them is nearly gone. Her bare, callused fingers tenderly caress the traces of blood on his bleeding temple and the ache--

(that probably created the illusion in his mind that he sees silver linings in her eyes even there was no sunlight)

--disappears.

Let me heal you.

And he finds himself breathing again.