Title: Not That Stupid
Author: Akuni
Universe: Bleach
Genre: Romance
Rating: NC-17 (smut!)
Pairing: Ichigo/Ishida
Spoilers: nothing you don't learn in the first dozen episodes/chapters
Word Count: 1391
Summary: Ichigo and Ishida can be very stupid sometimes.

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, I'm just borrowing it for a while.
Distribution: This is just for parvati4th on LJ, so no. :)

Dedication: For Paï on her birthday. Thank you so much for being one of my biggest fans. :)

A/N: My first IchiIshi piece. I hope you realize, Paï, that I'd only do this for you. :) I tried to write it the way I think you'd like, so it's a bit different than my normal fare. I hope I came close!

Much love to the usual suspects for reading, hand-holding, and putting up with my wibbles over leaving my comfort zone to write this.

Not That Stupid

"Tell me you're not that stupid, Kurosaki."

"Um, what?" Kurosaki Ichigo stared at the pale face of his companion as they stood together on the school roof. Ishida Uryuu was a puzzle – social outcast, Quincy archer, and the most unusual friend Ichigo had. Which was saying something, considering the unique personalities Ichigo numbered in that category.

"You honestly expect me to believe you didn't know I'm gay?" Ishida's voice held a hint of mocking scorn, but Ichigo – newly sensitive to his friend's moods – caught the undertone of distress. "I sew. I cook. I even like musicals for fuck's sake! I might as well be wearing a sign!"

Ichigo didn't have time to be shocked by Ishida's uncharacteristic cursing, he was too busy gathering his courage. "Yeah well none of that means anything! Doesn't prove you're gay, Ishida, it just means you learned the skills you need to live by yourself, and that your taste in music sucks."

Ishida pushed his glasses up his nose, and he looked away with a strange expression. "And what would you know about whether or not that makes a person gay?"

Ichigo clenched his fists. "Because none of that applies to me."

The stunned disbelief on the porcelain features was worth the nauseating panic that rose in Ichigo's stomach.

"You're saying you're—"

Ichigo swallowed hard. "Yeah."

Ishida looked away, staring off into the distance. Sunlight glinted off his glasses, obscuring his eyes, and Ichigo's gaze was drawn down to the slim hands curling and uncurling at Ishida's side. Why had he wanted to tell Ishida, of all people?

"Well, that was certainly unexpected, Kurosaki."

Ichigo snorted and looked up again. "That's it? It's 'unexpected'?"

Ishida turned and gave him a curious half-smile. "You expected something more?"

Ichigo blinked. What had he been thinking?! "Never mind. I was just tryin' to be nice." Stupid! Should've known, no point being nice to that prissy, stuck-up—! He turned and headed for the door, but just as he reached out to open it, Ishida's voice floated over.


Ichigo turned his head and eyed the Quincy impatiently. "What?"

"Want to go out on Saturday?"

Ichigo's mouth dried up. His brain nearly short-circuited at the thought that Ishida Uryuu had just… asked him out? He looked at Ishida dumbly; the one small corner of his mind still functioning noticed that Ishida's hands were now tightly fisted.

Unable to think over the thundering heartbeat in his ears, Ichigo cleared his throat and answered without thinking. "Yeah, ok."


"How stupid are you?" Ichigo roared, springing up and smashing Zangetsu straight through the Hollow's mask. He landed in front of the battered Quincy and reached toward his elbow to help him up.

"I don't need rescuing!" Ishida snapped, batting Ichigo's hand away and pushing himself to his feet. "Go away, Kurosaki! Find another damsel."

"Like hell!" Ichigo shoved Zangetsu onto his back and slipped his arm around Ishida's waist. "Everyone needs help sometimes. That's why we work in teams, idiot! You didn't hear me complaining when you shot that Hollow before it took my head off last week, did you?"

"No, but—"

"Look, just shut up. We're supposed to be partners on patrol, Ishida, but if you can't wrap your damn Quincy pride around that then maybe it's not a good idea anymore. I can't afford a partner I can't count on, and I sure as hell can't afford to watch another person I love die!" Ichigo's entire body trembled as the angry words tore out of him.

Ashen-faced, Ishida stared incredulously. "Kurosa—"

Shit. Well, he'd gone that far… Ichigo didn't think about it any further. He leaned down and covered Ishida's mouth with his own. Mindful of their injuries, Ichigo resisted the urge to crush Ishida to him, settling instead for tasting the slightly chapped lips that parted and moved hesitantly with his.

"I said shut up, Uryuu," he mumbled as he pulled away, averting his eyes. "C'mon, we gotta get you patched up." Ichigo pulled Ishida's arm up around his neck and tightened his grip on the Quincy's waist.

"My place is closer," Ishida offered in a soft voice.

"Yeah." They walked for several minutes in silence that grew more uncomfortable with every step. Just when Ichigo thought he couldn't take it anymore, Ishida spoke.

"I'm sorry." Ishida's tone was low. "I'm not used to having someone to rely on. From now on you can count on me."

"Idiot," Ichigo huffed. "I know that."

Ishida leaned against him heavily. "Thank you, Ichigo."


"Do we know what we're doing?" Ishida gasped, clinging to Ichigo's shoulder as they fell onto the bed.

"We're not that stupid, I think we can figure it out." Ichigo fumbled blindly at the bedside drawer even as he pressed Ishida down and sucked hungrily at the smooth skin of his neck.

"You're… going to leave a mark!" Ishida's fingers dug into Ichigo's back, one hand raking down to grasp his backside and pull Ichigo closer.

"Good," Ichigo grunted. The idea of marking all that warm, pale skin fuelled his desire, and he bit down on Ishida's shoulder. Ishida's startled gasp of pleasure shot straight to Ichigo's groin.

After that, it was a haze of lust and sweat… of wet, open-mouthed kisses, blunt fingernails digging into muscled arms and buttocks, and hastily warmed gel from the bottle Ishida had finally helped him find. Then all Ichigo could feel was the incredible heat gripping his fingers, and the thought that he'd be allowed inside that lithe body made him dizzy with need.

Ichigo rolled them both over and pulled Ishida into his lap. They fumbled together to find the right position, and then Ichigo only had a moment to drink in Ishida's sensual, unguarded expression before his world narrowed to a few very basic things. Tight. Hot. Pleasure. Love. MORE.

The unchecked moan Ishida issued when Ichigo sat up and snaked his arm around the Quincy's waist was the most intoxicating sound he'd ever heard; Ichigo threw his own inhibitions out the window and let himself groan deeply with the pleasure racing through him.

"Ahh… Ichigo… I need… need more!" Ishida braced his arms on Ichigo's shoulders and raised himself on his knees.

They moved together, awkwardly at first, but soon finding a decent rhythm. It was going to be over almost embarrassingly quickly, but Ichigo couldn't bring himself to care. They had all night to make it last, but right now he wanted to see what ecstasy looked like on that normally reserved face.

"C'mon, Uryuu." Ichigo squeezed his fist around Ishida's rigid cock and thrust into him more forcefully. "Show me how good it feels."

Ishida's eyes rolled back, and his fingers dug into Ichigo's shoulders. "I—chi—go!" He cried the last breathlessly as he stiffened and came over Ichigo's hand.

"Yes!" The sight of Ishida riding him, head thrown back, mouth open wide as he panted through his release, sent Ichigo spiralling after. As pleasure crashed over him, he snapped his hips up, driving himself in again and again until he was utterly spent.

Ishida slumped, resting his head on Ichigo's shoulder as they slowly rocked to a stop. Wrapping his arms around the slim body, Ichigo slid himself down, lying back on the bed and bringing Ishida down to lie on top of him.

"See?" Ichigo smiled against the dark hair tickling his chest. "We figured it out."


"Ichigo, what are you doing?" Ishida's gaze was fixed on the little blue box, and his voice was unnaturally steady.

Ichigo rolled his eyes and smiled at the Quincy seated next to him on the couch. "Tell me you're not that stupid, Uryuu."

Ishida finally looked away from the box and met Ichigo's gaze. "You really do turn my life into chaos," he said fondly, shaking his head as he reached into his pocket and withdrew a matching black velvet box. Silently, Ishida plucked the blue box out of Ichigo's faintly trembling fingers and replaced it with the black one.

Ichigo stared at it, unable to process much beyond the fact that Ishida hadn't immediately said yes for several seconds. When it finally hit him, he shot to his feet and seized Ishida by the shoulders.

"Is this—I mean, are you—do you…argh! Will you?"

"Of course, don't be stupid."