Jurassic Love:

Chapter One: It's All Relative

A/N: This is just a lot of Weiss drabble that's been building up in me since the dawn of time. It's not actually a drabble fic, but it's cracktacular to say the least. Expect a little slash, a little Takatori dysfunctional love, and a lot of me proving that it isn't canon until I say so.

Basically, my typical fic, only with Weiss. I'm hoping to make amends for previous sins against this already-abused fandom.


This is a story about a family. A family with a few problems, granted, but nothing too strange.

It begins with Reiji and Kikuno, who started out their marriage as all perfectly happy couples do: because he wanted to screw over his brother and she was coerced. They had two boys, Hirofumi and Masafumi, both of them intelligent, and both of them crazy. Meanwhile, Kikuno was sleeping with her brother-in-law, Shuichi, who never really managed to do anything about his evil older brother sucking the life out of the woman he loved. Go, Shuichi. Eventually the pressure became too much for Kikuno, and she killed herself, but not before she gave birth to the third son, Mamoru. Don't feel too bad for Reiji (not that you were) because he was screwing around on the side, too, and as a result he has a daughter named Ouka. And then the youngest son got kidnaped and went missing and emerged several years later as an amnesiac assassin.

Like I said, a perfectly normal family unit.


Hirofumi was in Europe when everything went down in his family. And with the Takatoris' poor communication network, he was left in the dark. He wasn't able to come home for his mother's funeral, even, because he was in the middle of his final exams for that semester. He didn't get home until a few weeks afterward, and when he got off the plane, his younger brother Masafumi was the only one waiting.

"So, how was France?" he asked, grabbing one of his brother's suitcases and dragging along towards the parking lot.

"I don't know, my professors never gave me enough time off to go and see it."

"You're complaining again?" Masafumi grinned. "You should see the workload us Pre-Med students have! I'm in the lab until midnight sometimes!"

"I think that has more to do with your girlfriend than your work ethic, brother," Hirofumi said slyly, nudging his creepy younger brother. "Aren't you two both in the same classes? Do a lot of private study sessions together?"

"Aw, shut up, Nii-san."

It wasn't until they were in the car that Hirofumi dared bring up The Topic. "Hey... Masafumi... how are you doing?"

His brother looked at him oddly out of the corner of his eye. "I'm fine... The traffic sucks, but airports are always like this."

"No, I mean... about Mother... are you ok?"

"You're so caring, Nii-san," he shot back sarcastically.

"Well, it was so sudden-,"

"It wasn't that unexpected, I guess. I mean, if I was stuck in a love triangle with Father and Uncle Shuichi, I'd off myself."

Hirofumi did a twelve-take, which is a double-take times six. "Off yourself? – Love triangle? – Uncle–? WHAT?"

"She was sleeping with our uncle... Didn't you know?"

"OUR UNCLE WAS?! No..." Hirofumi shuddered. "No, just no!"

"Believe it, mon ami. I thought you knew."

"How did you find out!?"

"It wasn't exactly a secret. They were together before she and Dad got married, you know."

"WHAT?"

Masafumi watched his brother's face pale, his hands clutch at the car seat, and then turned his attention quickly back to the road in time to dodge a semi-truck. "Come on, don't be so sensitive. You must have known she wasn't happy. She was married to our father, for one. And then look at her kids."

"She was to happy!"

"Yeah, happy people sleep with their brothers-in-law and hang themselves."

"Hang—?"

"Yeah, hang. That's how she did it. They found her in the shower."

"That's how she... Dad told me she fell and broke her neck."

"Nope. Killed herself."

"You're lying! Mother was happy! She loved our father, she wasn't sleeping with our uncle, and she did NOT kill herself! How dare you talk about her like that?!"

"Relax, Nii-san. Sometimes people have problems that we can't control. And Mom and Dad happen to be two of those people. We can't do anything for them now."

"It's not true... it's not..."

"You're taking this too hard, you know. Our family's screwed up. Accept it now or spend the rest of your life in denial."

"...Is Mamoru doing ok with all this? He's so little."

His brother laughed. And since the whole family knew that Masafumi was just a little bit crazy, this wasn't a good sign. "Oh God. What's wrong with him?"

"He's dead."

"WHAT?"

"He got kidnaped."

"WHAT?"

"Is that all you can say? Yes, he got kidnaped, and we didn't pay the ransom, so they killed him."

"Mamor— WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU PAY?"

"Well, it wasn't really a conscious decision, you know. The guys called and said they would call back to see if we had the money, Mom went into the shower and hung herself, and the phone rang right after we found the body."

"WHAT?"

"So Dad picked up the phone, told the guy to fuck off, and slammed the phone down. They didn't call back, so we guess..." He shrugged and drew a finger across his throat.

"WHAT?"

"Well, you can hardly blame the guy. I mean, he just found his wife's corpse in his shower."

"Our baby brother is dead! My little Mamoru is—,"

"If you must assign blame, there's always Mom. She didn't pick a very opportune time to do the deed."

"You sick bastard! How can you talk about them so casually? They're our family!"

"Yeah, well, these things happen."

Hirofumi never discussed his family with his brother again.