I know I am better off this way,
I know I am better off alone.
I know that we could never be,
So why can't you leave me alone?
I haven't seen you in years,
We haven't been in touch.
Yet for some reason you just always seem to be there,
Lurking in the dark corner of my mind,
Waiting for the next opportunity to strike,
It doesn't make sense how you can be my worst enemy,
And at the same time,
But nothing ever made sense even when you were around.
The only thing that was ever clear was that I loved you,
And look where that led us:
I want your memory to leave me alone,
I want your image to go away.
I want you to go on living your life,
A life without me,
So I can live one without you.
And in the same breath,
All I want is for you to come back to me,
To forget the words I told you about us never being,
Or better yet,
Just ignore them and insist that we'll be together anyway.
It doesn't make sense how I can love you this much,
And yet hate you in almost equal portions.
It doesn't make sense how you could love me so,
And yet be so ignorant as to what I needed from you.
It doesn't make sense how I can care about you so much,
When in reality you're probably the worst thing that ever happened to me.
But that's why I must ignore this feeling,
This burning desire for you,
Because none of it makes sense,
And I need sense in my life,
Something, someone, that I can count.
And you do too.
This pain may never go away,
It will just have to remain.
For I have lived this life too long to go back now,
And I can't,
And I won't,
Change a thing.