Disclaimer: We do not own the darlings.

Author's Note: hotshow approached me about co-authoring a Sam mpreg story. It has been a wonderful and enjoyable collaborative effort. This story will be a long one, covering multiple areas of the boys' lives, through many chapters.

We hope you enjoy it!

Leave Me Breathless

"Samuel Winchester, do you take this man to be..."

"Sam...Sam, wake up dude, you're dreaming" Dean said, as he shook Sam's shoulder.

As Sam opened his eyes and looked at his older brother, he hoped to God he hadn't said anything embarassing while he was dreaming.

"Hey princess, you're awake. Good. I'm starving. Here, get dressed, I just have to hit the head and then we're outta here" Dean called over his shoulder, as he threw some clothes at Sam, before shutting the bathroom door.

Sam threw the clothes aside, as he sat up, putting his head in his hands. Another day, another hunt, another day living a lie.

"Sammy...what the hell, you're not even dressed. C'mon, let's go. I'll wait for you in the car. Hurry up" Dean said, as he went out the door.

"About time" Dean growled as Sam climbed in the car a short time later. Dean chose a spot and they grabbed a booth. Of course, it wasn't long, before one of the waitresses made her way over, smiling beautifully at Dean, who sat there like a king, soaking it all in and making Tanya feel like a million bucks in the process.

"What bug crawled up your ass and died?" Dean asked Sam, after they'd finished their breakfast. "Just leave it Dean, okay. I'm not in the mood" Sam replied. Dean tilted his head slightly as he observed his younger brother, not saying anything further.

As Sam came back from the washroom, he joined up with Dean who had just finished paying the bill. "Sammy my boy, you can find your own way back right?" Dean questioned, winking at Sam, as Tanya stood near the kitchen, smiling over at his older brother.

If Dean had blinked, he would have missed it, the look of hurt in the eyes of the one he loved above all others, staring back at him, before Sam turned and left. "What the hell?' Dean thought to himself as he watched Sam leave.

When Dean got back to the room around lunch time, Sam just didn't seem himself.

"Everything okay Sammy?" Dean asked, frowning in concern. "Fine Dean" Sam answered. "Are you hungry? I'll go get you something" Dean offered. "I'm not hungry" Sam responded, not meeting Dean's eyes. "I'm going to go and get you something anyways and when I get back, we're gonna have a talk" Dean said quietly before leaving.

Sam waited a few minutes, before pulling his almost packed duffle out from under the bed. After cramming a few more items into it, wiping angrily at the tears that were falling, he placed the note for Dean on the table, took one last longing look around the room and left.

Dean took a little longer getting back then he had planned. He made an extra stop at the store to pick up some gummy worms for Sam. Something was up with his little brother and he was going to find out what.

As Dean entered the room, he felt his gut clench when he saw the empty coat hangers in the closet and the note on the table. "God damn it Sam!" Dean yelled, after reading the note, crumpling it in anger and tossing it, before heading out to look for Sam.

"Slow down...slow down" Dean kept reminding himself, as he gunned the car up one street and down the other. Close to an hour passed, before Dean finally yelled in relief, as he spotted the figure farther down the road, trying to hitch a ride.

As Dean pulled the car up beside Sam, Sam turned and began to walk faster. Dean brought the car to a stop, directly in front of Sam, effectively slowing him down enough to allow Dean to get out of the car and get to him.

"Get in the fucking car Sam!" Dean bellowed, as he grabbed Sam's wrist, catching it in a firm grasp, using his body weight to push Sam back towards the passenger door. "Jesus Dean, let go of me" Sam yelled, as he tried to pull away. "Just get in the car" Dean said in a low rumble, trying to control his fear and anger, not letting go of Sam. Sam hesitated, before finally getting in the car, throwing his duffle into the backseat, Dean slamming the door behind him.

As Dean got in the car and turned on the ignition, he almost flooded the engine, as he looked over at Sam. No words were exchanged on the drive back to the motel. All that changed the moment they were inside their room.

As Sam sat on the bed, face downcast, Dean paced in front of him, picking up the crumpled note. "WHAT THE HELL SAM! What is going on with you huh? You leave me this note, telling me YOU'VE TRIED, BUT IT'S NO USE, YOU HAVE TO END THIS. YOU CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. PLEASE DON'T LOOK FOR YOU. YOU'RE SORRY. What am I suppose to think? Sam, I thought you were going to kill yourself. Shit...Sammy" Dean cried out, as Sam's head shot up, a tear stained face greeting Dean, causing his heart to drop a bit.

"Kill myself? No way Dean. You should know me better than that" Sam answered, and then stopped at the irony of this whole situation and the fact that Dean didn't know, he didn't know how twisted and sick his little brother really was. What was the point of continuing, he'd lost Dean now anyways, there was no more use, as a fresh wave of tears began trickling down his cheeks.

Dean took a deep breath before bending down in front of Sam. "Do you really hate me so much, that you wouldn't even say goodbye to me?" Dean asked in a gentle voice, as his lip trembled ever so slightly, reaching out to touch Sam's arm, startled and heartsick, when Sam pulled back a bit. "Sam, you've never done that before, you've never moved away from me like that" Dean noted in a hurt tone. "Sammy" Dean called his name in a wounded voice, as his eyes sought out Sam's.

Sam was watching him, deciding on the best way to go. The truth won out.

"Dean, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that...I'm confused. I've fucked things up royally. I know you'd never mean to hurt me, not intentionally, but...Dean...you have, without even knowing it and now, when you know the truth about me, you're going to hate me" Sam said, holding up a hand, cutting Dean off from saying whatever he was about too. Sam took a deep breath. "I love you Dean. Do you understand?" Sam asked, as he saw Dean's confused expression. I.love.you!" Sam whispered, as he took Dean's face between his hands, "I LOVE YOU! So there, now you know, know that your little brother is a freak, a freak whose in love with his older
brother" Sam finished, as his hands fell away and he hung his head in defeat, leaving Dean speechless and open mouthed.

The silence in the room hung heavy in the air, as Dean moved to sit beside Sam on the bed.

"Sam...Sammy...look at me...please Sam" Dean begged, as he reached out and gently tugged on Sam's ear lobe. Sam raised uncertain eyes and met his big brother's gaze.

"I need to be sure Sam you know what you're saying. Are you sure?" Dean asked, as he stroked Sam's cheek. "I've never been more certain of anything in my entire life. It's you I love Dean, only you, always you. I want to be with you in every way" Sam said earnestly, as he continued to look at Dean, his throat bobbing and his breathing rapid, watching, as a huge smile slowly began to break across Dean's face.

"All right then" Dean whispered, as he slowly leaned forward and gently placed his lips on Sam's.

The first kiss between them was slow and sweet, tender and full of promise.

Dean felt tremors running through Sam, as he took Sam's hands in his own. In doing so, Sam inadvertently winced. Dean froze. "Aw
shit...dammit...Sam...I'm sorry. I shouldn't have grabbed you so hard back at the car. Let me see" Dean asked, as he delicately turned Sam's hand over, seeing the bruising, feeling ashamed for being the one to cause this. "It's okay Dean, it's all okay" Sam murmured, smiling shyly, as Dean lifted his hand and began applying all better kisses to the bruised area, before standing up and beginning to undress. As Sam stood and went to follow Dean's lead, Dean stopped him.

"Let me" Dean said, as he finished undressing and then began to unbutton Sam's shirt. Sam stood, waiting patiently for Dean to finish, his heart beating rapidly, as Dean's strong hands ran over his body.

Dean reached over and pulled down the blankets, climbing in first and opening his arms for Sam. Sam crawled in beside him, Dean sweeping him into his arms, breathing becoming more rapid, as naked flesh touched for the first time.

"You doing okay?" Dean asked. "Yep" Sam managed to croak, as one of Dean's hands began to rub across his chest, before finding one of Sam's nipples. Dean licked his thumb and forefinger, before bringing it back, rubbing at it, until the small nub became tight and hard, Sam panting against him. As Dean shifted and gently rolled on top of Sam, Sam gasped, feeling Dean's hardening cock against his own, as Dean rubbed their crotches together in slow and steady strokes. "Dean...please don't stop" Sam cried, as he wrapped his arms tight around Dean and opened his legs wide. "Easy Sammy...easy" Dean encouraged, as his lips and tongue tickled and sucked at Sam's other nipple, before Dean began to slide downwards, coming to a kneeling position at the bottom of the bed. He grasped Sam's legs and placed them around his shoulders, tugging Sam down closer to his face.

"Feel good baby?" Dean asked, as his lips began to trail kisses over Sam's inner thighs and pubic area, his fingers rubbing the slit of Sam's twitching cock, pre-cum leaking, mixing with Dean's saliva. Sam was arching up, urgent for release, as he pulled Dean's head closer to him. "Holy hell" Sam cried, as he felt two of Dean's fingers enter him at the same time that Dean took his cock fully into his mouth and started to suck hard. Sam was squirming against Dean's mouth, as Dean's fingers continued to move in and out, throwing Sam over the edge, as he came hard, white liquid spilling out of Dean's lips, as his sucking became more gentle, moving his hand up to Sam's pelvis, trying to steady him, as Sam jerked against him, hands entangled in Dean's hair, as he rode out his orgasm.

Dean wiped at his lips, taking the liquid dribbling down his chin and applying it to himself, before climbing up Sam, pressing him down against the bed. Dean almost came, as he felt Sam's hand encircle him, pumping him, as he guided Dean to his opening, taking a deep breath, as Dean entered him, slowly at first, letting Sam get use to him. As Sam shifted beneath him, wrapping his legs tight around Dean's hips, Dean began to thrust more quickly. Sam grabbed Dean tight to him, as Dean arched and grunted, his body shuddering, as he climaxed deep inside of Sam, his seed spilling. As Dean slowly felt his body begin to relax, he laid heavily on Sam, being held in place by strong arms, lips nuzzling at his neck.

As Dean slowly regained some of his awareness, he extracted himself from Sam, before sliding off and re-adjusting himself, so he could take care of Sam at this special time. "Closer Sam" Dean whispered as he folded Sam into the circle of his arms, wiping at Sam's sweat soaked hair, applying tender kisses to his temple.

Dean was a goner, there was no question now, what he had always known and had always felt, but had tried to keep hidden, was now fully exposed. He decided to throw in the towel.

"Sam" Dean murmured, as he gently shook Sam to get his attention. "Hmm?" Sam hummed sleepily as he turned heavy and contented eyes to his brother. "I love you" Dean said simply, as he leaned lower and kissed his Sammy. Sam smiled his love to Dean, in his gentle way.

It had been a long road to this moment, but they had found their way, to where they belonged - with each other - always with each other!

To be continued.