Disclaimer: I do not own Azumanga Daioh.
The World is Flat
By Silver Sailor Ganymede
Tomo and Kagura were playing a stupid game involving a basketball and a wall, and Osaka had another one of those looks on her face again. Yomi was rather worried; it was never a good sign when Osaka had that look on her face, and it was an even worse sign when she was stuck not only with Osaka but with Tomo and Kagura as well.
"I was thinking." As Yomi had dreaded, Osaka spoke. "Yanno in class the other day?"
"Since when have you paid attention in class?" Tomo asked.
"Like you can talk," Kagura muttered.
"Yeah, I can, well done for n…"
"Yanno what they said in class the other day?" Osaka continued, either ignoring or just completely oblivious to her fellow Numbnut's argument. Yomi personally thought it was likely to be the latter. "They said the world was round. How can the world be round? Wouldn't you fall off if the world was round? Maybe it's all part of the pigtail's conspiracy to brainwash us all and turn us into mini-Chiyo-clones…"
Kagura bounced the ball, shaking her head in confusion. Yomi felt like her head was about to implode; she didn't know how many more Osaka-theories she could stand. Tomo, however, looked overjoyed.
"Holy Lupin that's it!" Tomo gasped. "I just made the discovery of the century – the world is flat!"
Yomi could hardly resist the urge to smash someone's head into the wall – preferably Tomo's.
"Tomo, they've already proved that the world is round."
"And besides that it was Osaka who said it in the first place," Kagura stated. "Then again she might have a point."
"Hey Kagura, pass me that ball for a second," Tomo called and Kagura threw the ball to her. Tomo put the ball down in front of her and smirked in triumph. "I will now prove how the world must be flat." That having been said, she put one foot on the basketball, then the other, and promptly fell flat on her face.
"Idiot," Yomi groaned, shaking her head in pure exasperation while Kagura sniggered and Osaka blinked.
"And that," Tomo said, "is why the world must be flat, because if you try to stand on something round then you'll fall off it. The ancient geeks…" ("Ancient Greeks," Yomi corrected her.) "… were wrong and I am right! The world is flat!"
There was stunned silence for a moment. Yomi sighed and looked around to see that Osaka had that look on her face again.
"But if the world's flat, then how come we don't just walk right off the edge of it?"
"Simple, there is no edge."
"But if there's no edge then either nothing but Earth exists, or the world must be round," Osaka stated. Yomi blinked in astonishment – that was one of the most coherent things she'd ever heard Osaka say.
"Well I say the world is flat! So it must be flat because I am Tomo the gr…" Tomo huffed, but was stopped short when Kagura chucked the basketball at her.
"Who cares what shape the world is?" Kagura asked as Tomo began yelling at her. "What does anything matter so long as we know that a ball is round?"
"But we don't know that it's round," Osaka spoke up again. "Maybe flat things are really round and round things are really flat."
"So you mean Sakaki's actually flat chested and Yomi's really skinny?" Tomo gasped. "Damn, my theory makes no sense at all now you've said that!"
In the end it came as a surprise to no one that Tomo was walking around with a black eye for the next fortnight after that comment. Whenever Osaka got that look on her face, nothing good was going to come from it - especially not for Tomo.