Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners.
This is a wholly unnecessary sequel to The Devil to Pay. No relation to my Best Enemies series. Contains spoilers for The Devil to Pay.
The Devil You Know
Shego stumbled to the door. "Why in the hell is anyone up at the ungodly hour of 9:30 on a Saturday morning?" The time would not have seemed so bad except that Drakken had insisted she accompany him to karaoke the night before.
"What," she growled at the unseen intruder on the other side of the door who had dared disturb her slumber.
"She's making up a lab! Go away!"
"She missed a lab in chemistry class. She has to make it up this morning."
"When will she be home?"
Shego decided to open the door. It was probably some fellow student Kim had introduced her to at the student union. It wasn't. And it was not clear if Anne Possible or Shego was more surprised by the fact. Shego slammed the door and stood with her back to it, wondering if she should flee the apartment in her pajamas.
"Shego!" the voice on the other side of the door demanded.
"I'm not!" she called. "Like she is going to believe that."
"Then who are you?"
"I'm... uh, Kim. I got made up for a come-as-the-person-you-hate-most party."
"If you're Kim why don't you open the door for your mother?"
"Can you come back in a few minutes, mom?"
"Open the door, 'Kim'."
"Did I say Kim? I meant I'm her apartment mate… Gretchen."
"And why are you made up as Shego, 'Gretchen'?"
"Uh, Kim and I went to a party. She dressed like Drakken and-"
"And you didn't bother to wash the make-up off?"
"Actually, I'm Shego's cousin... Hergo. There is a strong family resemblance."
"Shego! Open this door now!"
"No, and you can't make me!" "Oh, real smooth answer there Shego."
"Open this door, young lady. You don't want to know what I'm capable of doing."
Sullenly Shego pulled the door open. "If Drakken could sound that threatening he'd take over the world."
"Okay, Shego," Anne demanded, "why are you in Kim's apartment?"
"I'm... ah... robbing the place."
Anne looked Shego over and raised an eyebrow, "You're robbing the place in pink pajamas covered in big red and white hearts?"
The green woman flushed, "These pajamas were a gift Kim... bought for herself."
"Uh-huh. And the fuzzy pink bunny slippers? Those are Kim's too?"
Shego nodded her head yes. A disturbing thought went through Anne's head. While she could not recall Kim owning a pair of bunny slippers she remembered that Kim owned a pair of slippers shaped like over-sized carrots. She tried to put that combination of images out of her mind.
"So, why are you wearing Kim's slippers and pajamas?"
"I was drunk last night... Yeah, that's it. I was drunk last night and Kim and her apartment mate said I could sleep on the couch. Kim is really a nice person."
"Yes, she is," Anne murmered, "and always so honest with her parents. So is her apartment mate here?"
"No, ah, Rex is studying at the library."
"Rex Aminer. Swell guy. Kim needs to introduce you some day."
"She certainly does. I was in the bathroom at Thanksgiving. I notice 'Rex' prefers tampons while Kim has stayed with pads."
Shego went on the offensive, "Hey, why are you here giving me the third degree? Are you trying to spy on Kim or something?"
"I had a call. I'm assisting with a brain surgery at the Upperton hospital at two. I wanted to invite Kim to brunch. She has been poor about coming home to see her family for months now."
"I'll, uh, tell her you stopped by. I know she'll be sorry she missed you," Shego said as she tried to close the door. Anne Possible's foot in the doorway kept her from accomplishing the feat.
Anne pushed her way into the apartment. "So Kim is out for the morning?" Shego nodded yes. "And her unseen apartment mate, 'Rex', is also?" Shego nodded again. "Well then, I guess I'll take you out for brunch."
"I'm not dressed," Shego protested.
"I'll wait," Anne replied, sitting down on the one of the Salvation Army Thriftstore chairs in the apartment's living room.
Shego dressed quickly. Once dressed she thought of diving out the window, but reluctantly headed out of the bedroom.
"You look nice," Anne commented as she saw Shego in black jeans and a bulky green sweater pulled over a thin, black cotton turtleneck.
"Thanks," the pardoned thief responded.
"So, is 'Rex' just your size or has Kim started wearing clothing that fits you better than it fits her?"
The two took the elevator down to the street level. "I think Kim has mentioned a place she likes, called The Mad Greek," Anne began.
Shego pointed to a sign for the diner and led the way. "I've never been there with her, of course."
A waitress with dark, curly hair waved to Shego as she walked in, "Your favorite booth is open." She stared at the woman beside Shego, "And that must be Kim's mom."
"You are so not getting a tip today."
"So, Shego, I am little surprised a thief-"
"Pardoned thief," the green woman corrected her. "Drakken and I got our 'Get out of jail free' cards for helping fight the Lorwardian invasion."
"Well then," Anne continued coldly, "I am surprised a pardoned thief would lie so poorly. Honestly, you're worse at it than Kim."
"You caught me early in the morning," Shego mumbled. "I lie better when I'm awake."
They paused while Shego ordered a gyro's platter and Anne the spanakopita luncheon special. They both ordered Greek coffee.
"What is Greek coffee?" Anne asked as the waitress left.
"Tiny cup, half coffee grounds, half coffee syrup, a sprinkle of cardamom."
"Isn't that the same as Turkish coffee?"
"Don't let the staff hear you ask that."
There was a minute of uncomfortable silence before Anne spoke again. "Can the BS," she warned the woman sitting across from her. "There is no Gretchen, Rex, or Hergo."
"You are, in fact, Kim's apartment mate."
Anne sighed. "Okay, now I know why Kim didn't want to talk about the apartment mate. What in the world happened?"
"Drop the 'Ma'am'."
"Yes, Ma'am… Do I call you, 'Hey, you'?"
"You can call me Dr. Possible. And what happened?" She gave Shego a minute to collect her thoughts
"Well, when Ron didn't get in here because of his grades he accepted that football scholarship at Enormous State University, and it seemed like he was scoring even more off the field than he was on the field." Anne Possible nodded. "He was pretty much ignoring Kim… She says he did the same thing when he got a pile of money one time, ignored her that is - it went to his head."
"Ron didn't treat her very well," Anne sighed. "She'd come home from dates and complain about being told to order from the children's menu or having to watch him play the giant claw machine. I wondered why she put up with it sometimes."
"I think your daughter is kind of needy in some ways."
Anne took a deep breath and let it out slowly, "Please continue."
"I don't understand what went on in Kim's head. I don't know if she got over Ron, if she moved past Ron, if she wanted to get back at Ron. She called me last January and suggested we go spar at the gym - said she wanted to work out some frustrations. I've always liked Ki- I always like sparring with your daughter, so I said yes. We sparred for a while. She said, 'Let's make it interesting, whoever knocks the other down collects a kiss from the loser'."
"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard."
"We were just joking around, kidding with each other. I didn't think anything of it. She knocked me down. I kissed her on the cheek. She knocked me down again. I gave her another peck on the cheek. She said I was a lousy kisser and told me she'd throw the next round and show me how it was supposed to be done…"
"And your daughter is quite a kisser."
The meals arrived and gave the two an excuse not to talk for a few minutes.
"And after discovering my daughter kisses well?"
"We, ah, spent a lot of money on motels last spring so that her dorm mate could have things quiet."
"And you suggested moving in together."
"It was Kim's idea!" Shego insisted sharply.
"What are your intentions towards my daughter?"
Shego stared at her blankly. "What?"
"Your intentions towards my daughter, what are they?"
"Look, Dr. Possible, I don't know what's happening. I don't know if your daughter likes me. I don't know if she's on some weird college 'let me experiment with girls' trip. I don't know if she's trying to get back at Ron in some twisted way-"
"Has she ever said anything like that to you?"
"No. Sometimes she says she's glad Ron found himself - and gave her a chance to find herself. But I don't know if I believe that. I wonder if she is using me to try and hurt him or if I'm some sort of rebound thing. Sometimes I think I'm a living substitute for that damn Pandaroo™ she talks about. That's what I mean about sometimes I think she's kind of needy."
"But you put up with it," Anne observed. "You moved in with her, even though you say she may just be taking advantage of you."
"Yeah, I moved in."
"So why did you do it? If you think you may be an 'experiment', a tool for revenge, or someone to grab on the rebound why move in? Are you trying to get some sort of revenge on my daughter?"
Shego poked a bit of feta cheese on her plate with a plastic fork, "No…" She sighed and looked up into Anne's eyes. "Okay, Kim may be kind of needy in some ways… I'm probably needy too. I can't recall a stable environment since I left home. I was on the run from the law. Kim and Ron kept blowing up Drakken's lairs. Kim wants someone to hold - and I want someone to hold me."
The long minute of silence was broken when Shego's phone went off. She pulled it from her pocket, "Speak of the devil," she muttered, looking at the caller ID.
"What?" Anne asked.
"Well, are you going to answer?"
Shego reluctantly flipped open the phone. "Hello, Miss Possible."
"Miss Possible? That wasn't what you were calling me at one this morning."
"I'm sorry, Miss Possible, I'm not sure what you are referring to."
"Did I leave the milk on the counter again this morning? Look, I'm sorry. I'll try and do better."
"No, Miss Possible, that was not the problem."
"Well, I can tell you're angry about something. Look, I called to say I'm almost at The Mad Greek's. I don't know what I did to make you angry, but will baklava make it all better?"
"No, Kim! Don't!"
"Why not? You love the stuff. I'm going to pick up a piece big enough for-"
"No, Kim. Don't go to the Greek's."
"Too late, I'm-" Kim intended to finish the sentence, "I'm going inside now." Instead she could have changed that to, "I'm looking directly at you and my mother."