DISCLAIMER: (Takes a deep breath) BWAAAAAAH!

He was asleep.

Danny was never more relieved in his life. Dan, that twisted alternate-future abomination, was sound asleep. The half-ghost sighed as if the weight of the world was, for now, off of his shoulders. If he was lucky, Dan would sleep for the next few hours giving him what little peace he would had for the next few days.

"I've never seen anyone with such an appetite before." Maddie replied sounding tired from all the cooking she did for her ex-son.

Jack nodded, "Or someone who gained weight so quickly before. He's rounder than your great aunt's potbellied pig."

Dan merely ignored their comments. It wasn't his fault, after all, that he hadn't had a decent meal in months. Of course, now he was painfully aware of his own gluttony. Each slight movement he made caused him to wince in pain. He silently cursed himself for being such a pig. Groaning audibly in his sleep, the evil future-ghost rested his hands against his now rather fat stomach and leaned back further into the chair he now rested in.

Jazz spoke, "Well, at least he's full and content for now. The orderlies did say something about him eating only once a few months."

"I can see why." Danny frowned in response at Dan's engorged self.

Dan growled as he woke up, "I can still hear you, ya know..."

Danny muttered under his breath, "Maybe I can roll him down a hill and see how far he goes...or enter him as a float in the next parade."

"And people call me a jerk." scoffed the twisted poltergeist.

"At least I didn't try to blow up my family..."

"And at least I'm not a self-centered son of a bitch..." Dan snarled, "Uh, no offense, Mom...nothing personal..."

Maddie merely sighed in response. This was going to be a long vacation.

"Both of you, cut it out." Jazz said in annoyance, "You two are worse than when Mom and Dad fight over the possible existence or non-existence of Santa Claus."

"Speaking of fat guys with white beards..."

"Ok," Dan hissed, "we get it...I gained a few pounds..."

Jack leaned over towards Maddie and whispered into her ear, "That's a few?"

Author's Notes: Yeah, I know its' short, but I was kinda rushed in writing it. Anyway, thanks for the reviews. The next part is coming soon.